Valentines Day: A Guide For Men
Valentines Presents: Gift Ideas For Men To Buy
You love her, she loves you - what more do you need? Well, you really need to tell her that sometimes. And you really need to make an effort on special days like Valentines. Forget her birthday and you'll be fighting the dog for his kennel. Remember Valentines Day with the right present and you'll be a hero. Make it soppy (sorry ladies, men will be men) and she'll love it.
Read on for some ideas for the right Valentines Day gifts for men to buy their woman.
Image: One dozen long stem red roses from Amazon
Valentines Gifts Are Easy
Birthdays and Christmas demand effort: you need to know her perfume or her size: you need to learn that she prefers Marks And Spencer to Anne Summers. Valentines Day, though: you can't go wrong by keeping it traditional. Roses, chocolate, balloons, red, red, red.
And most important: The Card Read on ....
Flowers As A Valentine Present
Nobody dislikes flowers. Nobody ever received a bunch of roses and sniffed "oh, roses" and threw them at the cat. Buy flowers for her: you don't even have to go to a shop -- you can order online and have them delivered.
One thing though: keep it simple and not too expensive. Tradition works for you here. Huge, complicated bouquets costing hundreds of quid (or dollars, or whatever) are not what's wanted. A dozen red roses with a bit of Gypsy's Breath will hit the spot.
(Apologies, male readers, for the technical term there. It's the white stuff that florists often add.)
Note: florists put their prices up near the date: order early and you'll save the price of a few pints.
One other thing: if you're ordering a delivery you will need to know her address. Interflora's website can't handle "it's the one with the green door round the corner from the King's Head, you know, the one with the great video jukebox".
Image: Red Romance Rose Bouquet from Amazon
Order Flowers For Valentines Day - Online for ease
If the first few pics haven't given you a clue, concentrate. Flowers are good. Everyone likes flowers. Buy some for her. Now.
Yes, more flowers - if you're a little older, the colours here will appeal to your loved one. And even if they don't, at least you tried.
Chocolate As A Valentines Present
Assuming your wife or girlfriend isn't diabetic or lactose intolerant: chocolate's another winner. This one's a bit more complicated than flowers but you should be able to cope.
First point: bigger isn't better - a huge bar of Cadbury's milk chocolate is not acceptable, and a tin of Quality Street will see you without kneecaps. No, go for posh. One great name here is Hotel Chocolat. Yes, daft name and there is no "e" at the end but you're ordering online so you don't need to pronounce it.
Google: "online chocolate". Check a few results, think "classy".
Buy a posh box. If they offer a sampler box nice and cheap, resist. You don't have to buy half a ton but there should be enough for her to offer round the workplace.
Milk is usually better than dark, white might be acceptable but spy on her chocolate habits well in advance to make sure.
Great chocolate and a heart-shaped tin - two in one. Forget the big bar of choc - it's Valentines Day after all - push the boat out a bit,.
Look around Amazon, there's a great range of delicious assortments for that special person on Valentines Day
Rich Italian chocolates in a classy box. 28 chocs in the box - she might give you one.
Champagne As A Valentines Present
Another sure fire winner, and of course -- you can order online. One bottle is all you need. Unless she's a dipsomaniac and then you can buy a case or one of those big bottles with a name ending in "boam".
Key word here is "champagne". That doesn't include supermarket sparkling plonk. I don't care if you have heard of Asti Spumante, it's not acceptable.
Note here another plus for online shopping - they'll package it nicely - you don't have to stick it in an old carrier bag at the last minute before you shove it into her hands with a muttered "here you are i love you".
A nice touch is to give her a pair of champagne glasses (the tall thin ones known as flutes) with the bottle.
The sellers reckon this is "The nose is fresh, fruity and sweet with notes of plum and raspberry jam." You don't need to know that though - just rest assured that she'll like it.
Don't Forget The Champagne Flutes
Champagne tastes so much better when you drink it out of the right glass. You'll feel like James Bond, and she'll feel .. No, I probably shouldn't mention any of the Bond Girls' names ...
Stylish, modern, sophisticated. You'll be realising by now that beer mugs won't do for champagne so get the credit card out.
Jewelry Says "I Love You" - Perfect Valentines Day gift
Most people like jewelry as a gift and it makes a great Valentine's present. Don't go mad on gold and diamonds in large quantities, aim for something pretty and cute.
Silver and amethyst: this looks classy, has a heart design and won't break the bank, She'll love it and you get the applause.
More Jewelry Ideas
There's plenty of choice in the jewelry range for Valentines Day: a necklace, earrings, bracelets ... Any of the items below should make your beloved happy.
Cute and stylish, another guaranteed success
Getting a bit classier, and that's always good - Swarovski jewelry is a guaranteed winner on Valentine's Day or any other day, come to think of it.
Something Silly As A Valentines Gift
Dangerous territory here for men, but you might want to extend your reach. That means balloons or fluffy bears, Nothing else. Novelty condoms, t-shirts with hilarious slogans, NO. A useful rule of thumb is "would your mates in the pub be amused?". If the answer is yes, the gift would be wrong. Her loss, of course, and there's always Christmas.
If your loved one is under thirty, get her a teddy bear. All women like teddy bears, unless they're farmers. If she's a farmer, buy her chocolates.
DO NOT: Give Her Sexy Underwear
This is the exception to the "if it's red it's good" rule. Sexy underwear is fraught with danger. She might appreciate it (you might even be within 2 inches of the correct bust size) but why risk it? Remember what happened to the last sexy underwear you bought her? No? There you go.
If you ignore this advice and actually make it into a lingerie department, you will soon pick up a garment and not know which way round it goes. At that point, move on.
Ah, the picture - so I can get her a bathrobe then? No. Not even a red one. Reread this page from the top.
Well, if you must - This is dangerous ...
Final warning: buy several sizes too big and you're dead.
This is just about okay but, I repeat, check the size!
The Valentines Day Card
Buy her a warehouse of champagne and a chocolate factory but forget The Card and you're in trouble. But choose wisely.
You know when she drags you into a card shop because she has to get a birthday card for someone whose birthday is months away? And those funny cards you snigger at whilst she's browsing (for hours)? Brilliant, some of them. She'd love one of those, gets on great with the lads in the pub.
No she wouldn't. There's a time and a place (and perhaps an occasion) for fart gags but Valentines Day isn't it. You've read this far, you should have a clue by now: keep it simple, classy, no attempt at humour. You love her. That's all you have to say.
Don't Buy The Lot
Another rule that works in your favour: you don't need to be ostentatious: don't buy everything. A card plus one present is enough. If you're feeling flush, you can get champagne as well as chocolate but it isn't absolutely necessary.
It is very important to remember that you may still be together in a year's time. Give her champagne and a dozen roses this year but only six roses next year and you're in trouble. Women have very good memories.