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~~~ Black-Jeaned Harpy ~~~

Updated on June 2, 2013

~ Black-Jeaned Harpy ~


The break of day,

Though you're not in it;

Your silent blues,

For a thousand minutes.


A victim, of

Nature's happenstance;

Circumstantial countenance.

Joy departs,

For a fiery season,

No more dancing,

No more reason.


Then evening comes,

My poisoned chalice;

Brimming full, of

Hate and malice.

Veils of quartz,

Burn secretive thoughts,

Though I witness none,

That are having fun.


This lupine cycle,

Is so depressing;

P.M.S. ,

Just keeps me guessing.

No more sex,and

No more dinner;

Libido starved,

I'm getting thinner.


Gravity and humour,

Can't lift the corners,

Of a dazzling smile,

For me and your mourners.

I'll comfort you,

Just kill me later,

I love you still,

My snuggly hater.

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    • Romeos Quill profile image
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      Romeos Quill 4 years ago from Lincolnshire, England

      I'm really glad you likey Sunny River, and appreciate the sense of humour.If only all women were like you! : )

      Enjoy a lovely evening;

      Yours Sincerely,

      Romeo's Quill

    • Romeos Quill profile image
      Author

      Romeos Quill 4 years ago from Lincolnshire, England

      Lol! PHILLYDREAMER - I hope you wear protective headgear when you say that amidst your domestic politics.

      I've heard that ' St. John's Wort(Hypericum perforatum) ', can be useful for ladies suffering from P.M.T., and also found the following link, which may actually help some women, and by extension, their men as well.

      R.Q.

      thehealthyeatingsite.com/top-8-foods-that-help-alleviate-pms-mood-swin...‎

    • Sunny River profile image

      Sunny River 4 years ago from A Place Without A Name which resides somewhere between Fantasy and Belief, just north of Reality

      This cracked me up! Awesome hub! :)

    • PHILLYDREAMER profile image

      Jose Velasquez 4 years ago from Lodi, New Jersey

      I recommend ear plugs, Tylenol PM, and a fridge full of chocolate.

    • Romeos Quill profile image
      Author

      Romeos Quill 4 years ago from Lincolnshire, England

      'Yhank you? (".) ' lol! Typo....' Thank you.'

    • Romeos Quill profile image
      Author

      Romeos Quill 4 years ago from Lincolnshire, England

      Anna Haven

      The tree is back! : )

      People seem to live for such a long time these days, that it becomes progressively more difficult to be certain when a mid-life crisis will strike, but when it inevitably does, I shall poise my quill to strike paper at the first sign.Yhank you for your wonderful comments. : )

      Yours Sincerely,

      R.Q.

    • Romeos Quill profile image
      Author

      Romeos Quill 4 years ago from Lincolnshire, England

      suzettenaples

      Only during the week, but don't tell anyone, will you? :)

      Have a lovely evening;

      R.Q.

    • Romeos Quill profile image
      Author

      Romeos Quill 4 years ago from Lincolnshire, England

      Cat

      That's good to hear; I'll remove the safety helmet now, then. :)

      Knowing you, Aunt Ruby should consider herself very fortunate to have you as a niece.

      Yours Truly,

      R.Q.

    • Anna Haven profile image

      Anna Haven 4 years ago from Scotland

      A man of your talents who can write a piece filled with humour and very cleverly seen from both a male and female perspective on a solely female topic would need no personal experience :)

      I am purely surmissing but is it late 40's - 50's?

      Not really sure! You did do a really good job here though; all joking aside :)

    • suzettenaples profile image

      Suzette Walker 4 years ago from Taos, NM

      Romeo: You're a good guy!

    • Cantuhearmescream profile image

      Cat 4 years ago from New York

      R.Q.

      Of course I liked it; what's not to like? No, no rolling pins, this was acutally quite funny and as you can see, that seems to be the general consensus :D

      After a while, Aunt Ruby won't be coming 'round for visits anymore, so I'll just learn to make the best of them when she comes :D

      Yours Truly,

      Cat

    • Romeos Quill profile image
      Author

      Romeos Quill 4 years ago from Lincolnshire, England

      frankieonfire

      You're welcome, sweetheart.You have a great attitude!

      Sincerely,

      R.Q.

    • Romeos Quill profile image
      Author

      Romeos Quill 4 years ago from Lincolnshire, England

      suzettenaples

      I'm sorry to hear that nature has been so unfair to you in apportioning this terrible affliction, and I do not mock the afflicted, but have tried to offer some light-heartedness into a confusing time for both parties, and I'm glad that you appreciated its intentional humour, and I agree, that when she has not been taken hostage for the other three weeks of the month, that she is indeed that unmatchable buttercup that one fell in love with, although as I mentioned in the last two lines, she is always loved - even during that turbulent week. : )

      Yours Sincerely,

      R.Q.

    • Romeos Quill profile image
      Author

      Romeos Quill 4 years ago from Lincolnshire, England

      Anna Haven

      Thanks for your insightful remarks, Anna.

      I would try to offset the balance of this piece, by writing of the 'male, mid-life crisis ',but, because I don't know how long I am to remain in this mortal coil, upon this beautiful planet, how am I to know specifically, when that time is to be ? : )

      All the best,

      Romeo's Quill

    • Romeos Quill profile image
      Author

      Romeos Quill 4 years ago from Lincolnshire, England

      LaThing

      Lol! Analyzing his victims? I'm laughing like a looney! : )

      Hey; in the play, Romeo is a one-woman man - but that Casanova, on the other hand, would probably be more fitting, with his gallivanting, canine antics.

      Thanks for your amazing comments!

      Yours Sincerely,

      R.Q.

    • Romeos Quill profile image
      Author

      Romeos Quill 4 years ago from Lincolnshire, England

      Cat

      Hey! So you liked It? I was expecting a few rolling pins over the head for this one, but I felt it my duty to inject a tiny bit of humour into what is very often a seriously personal time for the beauty known as woman.

      Aunt Ruby, you say? lol! Well, we sure can't pick our relatives, and some things are just sent to try us I suppose.

      Thanks a million for your always heart-warming support, and I'll speak to you soon.

      Yours Truly,

      R.Q.

    • frankieonfire profile image

      frankieonfire 4 years ago from Eureka, CA

      Having a sense of humor and a touch of irony is the only thing that gets me through my darkest nights. Believe me I laugh a lot. Cheers to you Romeo.

    • suzettenaples profile image

      Suzette Walker 4 years ago from Taos, NM

      Cute poem and being a man I can understand your confusion. I have suffered terribly from PMS and it is not funny. It does change some women drastically on the emotional level. Just let it ride out and know that three weeks out of the month she's that wonderful woman you were originally attracted to.

      I enjoyed reading this and your tongue in cheek humor.

    • Anna Haven profile image

      Anna Haven 4 years ago from Scotland

      Funny and well penned writing Romeos Quill.

      I will watch for the 'male mid life crisis' one in anticipation. Obviously pending in the interests of sex equality ;)

    • LaThing profile image

      LaThing 4 years ago from From a World Within, USA

      LOL, LOL ..... "Sigh", can't laugh any more. Hmmm, Romeo has left the 'romantic field' and now is into analyzing his victims .... errr.... I mean his subjects :))

      Good one, RQ! Voting up and across ......

    • Cantuhearmescream profile image

      Cat 4 years ago from New York

      R.Q.

      Wow! Ha ha ha... where'd this come from :D ? I'm really curious who in his bloody right mind would comfort such a grouch :D he he he! Hey... I have to say, I don't notice much of a difference in my bitchy attitude when Aunt Ruby rolls into town... 'cept maybe I cry more... :-)

      Let me point out this though, us woman, though grouchy for few days a month, must be awfully special creatures... what other animal can bleed for a whole week and not DIE???? Sorry, couldn't help it, you went there first! :D

      This was awesomely hilarious and I was acutally able to hit every blue button this time!!!

      Yours Truly,

      Cat

    • Romeos Quill profile image
      Author

      Romeos Quill 4 years ago from Lincolnshire, England

      Hey! Thanks James. She's there, but she isn't, as the ovaries are screaming at you,whilst taking your girlfriend/wife hostage lol!

      Yours Sincerely,

      Romeo's Quill

    • James-wolve profile image

      Tijani Achamlal 4 years ago from Morocco

      Hilarious and well-penned.When a woman not around,man goes wild and out of mind!voted up

    • Romeos Quill profile image
      Author

      Romeos Quill 4 years ago from Lincolnshire, England

      Colin. Steve Vai, another virtuoso guitarist, used to transcribe music for Frank Zappa;I think that's how he became formally introduced to the music biz.All of those soulful blues players are amazingly talented, but I think Jeff Beck was a little surprised when ' Hi Ho Silver Lining ' reached number one.I haven't heard much by Charlie Byrd;will have to check out more of his work, and also the Bob Dylan tribute by Howe.They are all such prolific artists, that their back catalogues are a gold mine of talent, just waiting for the right time to be ushered into their prospective halls of fame.I like Robert Palmer's(R.I.P.) use of the bossa nova- really cool vibes going on there.

      R.Q.

    • Romeos Quill profile image
      Author

      Romeos Quill 4 years ago from Lincolnshire, England

      frankieonfire

      I was wearing a hard-hat when I wrote this : ) Thanks for the ice-cream tip; that will definitely come in handy, and I'm glad that you have such a great sense of humour.

      Best wishes,

      R.Q.

    • epigramman profile image

      epigramman 4 years ago

      ...and oh yes ... one of my favorite bands, RQ, the Bonzo Dog Band.

    • frankieonfire profile image

      frankieonfire 4 years ago from Eureka, CA

      Ha- This was a gem! I can definitely relate - though I am somewhat shamed to admit. If approached with icecream though - well consider this a life-jacket. Good stuff. Cheers!

    • epigramman profile image

      epigramman 4 years ago

      Yes Steve Howe, marvelous, and I have a very interesting solo album by Steve Howe and it's a tribute to Bob Dylan.

      Big fan of Jeff Beck too on guitar and Frank Zappa is an awesome player and course the late great Rory Gallagher ..... ah the list goes on.

      Listening to the legendary Charlie Byrd earlier - a great jazz player and I love his bossa nova stuff

    • Romeos Quill profile image
      Author

      Romeos Quill 4 years ago from Lincolnshire, England

      Thanks Kathryn!

      I was unsure if it might ruffle a few feathers, but I reckoned that the onus was on someone to 'tell it like it is' sometime. :)

      I'm glad it made you chuckle, as that was its' main thrust.

      Take care,

      Romeo's Quill

    • Romeos Quill profile image
      Author

      Romeos Quill 4 years ago from Lincolnshire, England

      Hi Colin! Been so busy with my head stuck in a woman's world of late, that I haven't made time to check out your electric gems.Men and P,M.S.? You're not wrong there lol! Oh yes! I remember trawling through a few episodes of the Goon Show on T.V. and radio - total genius! Milligan just had funny bones, and Sellers in the Pink Panther just cracked me up, and the Python team? Colin;you have to check out 'The Argument' sketch again, if you don't remember it - it's on the Youtube.And Reinhardt?Wow! That 'ol gypsy did really well for himself during his time, despite his disability, and the only similar talent I've ever heard to be his modern-day equivalent, which is a tall order, is Steve Howe of 'Yes' fame.

      All the best to you and your felonious felines of frenzied fur!

      R.Q. 9:34 p.m. G.M.T

    • Kathryn Stratford profile image

      Kathryn 4 years ago from Manchester, Connecticut

      I didn't realize exactly what you were referring to until partway through... and then I realized it was obvious, because of all of the photos. I like the "10 Things to Avoid" picture. Haha, it made me laugh. As for the poem, you captured it well!

    • epigramman profile image

      epigramman 4 years ago

      Where art thou Romeo with his mighty quill? Oh here he is with his clever wit and astonishing wordplay although don't men have PMS too in their own silent way, lol.

      Love your cheek here Sir - you lovable mischief maker you - and have you ever heard of the Goon Show with Peter Sellers and Spike Milligan and Harry Secombe which really was the influence behind Monty Python.

      Sending you a high five from two hands of mine and four paws of my pussies at lake erie time canada and listening to the fabulous Django Reinhardt.

      4:35pm

    • Romeos Quill profile image
      Author

      Romeos Quill 4 years ago from Lincolnshire, England

      Lol! I'm glad you liked it WL;wasn't sure how it would be received, but happy that you saw the intentional humour in it.

      R.Q. : )

    • writinglover profile image

      Jennifer 4 years ago from Lost...In Video Games

      This was so hilarious and frighteningly accurate (at least from where I stand as a woman). LOL! This was so clever. I voted it up all across the board! I loved the PMS comics! I'm still chuckling! :D