ArtsAutosBooksBusinessEducationEntertainmentFamilyFashionFoodGamesGenderHealthHolidaysHomeHubPagesPersonal FinancePetsPoliticsReligionSportsTechnologyTravel

12 Awesome Shakespeare Insults That Are Way Better Than Swearing

Updated on July 18, 2018

Shakespeare is a big part of everyone’s youth and education. Some of us even decide to continue studying it throughout post-secondary, as well. Shakespeare is sometimes confusing to understand; but let me tell you, the insults from these plays are the best. Not only will you have some people seriously confused, but you also will feel relieved after letting these ones escape your mouth!

The next time you meet someone who really deserves some brutal honesty, try an insult from this list!

1. “Away, you three-inch fool!” (The Taming Of The Shrew 3.3)

We all know how protective men are about, well, their sizes. This one has got to hurt some men’s feels!

2. “Villain, I have done thy mother” (Titus Andronicus 4.2)

Want to know who started the “your mom” jokes? Clearly, Shakespeare did. The only difference is that, he was proper and used “mother.”

3. “Thou art like a toad; ugly and venomous” (As You Like It)

This one is pretty self-explanatory, so enjoy hurting someone’s feelings with this one!

4. “Peace, ye fat guts!” (Henry IV Part 1. 2.2)

Hey, instead of calling someone a fatass, just say it like this! Plus, there is something about the use of the word “peace” that makes this even better.

5. “Would thou wert clean enough to spit upon” (Timon of Athens 4.3)

Basically, this is saying that someone is so dirty that no one can even spit on them. Like, sorry, you are too dirty for my dirty spit. Ouch.

6. “The rankest compound of villainous smell that ever offended nostril” (The Merry Wives of Windsor 3.5)

For when telling someone that they smell just isn’t harsh enough.

7. “Thine face is not worth sunburning” (Henry V 5.2)

A good modern translation for this is, “You’re so ugly that it’s not even worth the sun rising to burn your face.” This is for a really nasty person.

8. “Thou art unfit for any place but hell” (Richard III 1.2)

Ever meet a real prick? Tell them this. You’re saying that they don’t belong anywhere except Hell.

9. “Thou hast no more brain than I have in mine elbows” (Troilus and Cressida 2.1)

This one is also self-explanatory: you’re dumb!

10. “I am sick when I do look on thee” (A Midsummer Night’s Dream (2.1)

This has a bit more bite to it than saying “You’re so ugly that you make me sick,” don’t you think? It’s so subtle that it will take the other person a second to realize what you are saying. Love it!

11. “You bull’s pizzle” (Henry IV Part One. 2.4)

Pizzle means penis. This refers to something scrawny and small. Need I say more? Probably not.

12. “Thou art a base, proud, shallow, beggarly, three-suited, hundred-pound, filthy worsted-stocking knave; a lily-liver’d, action-taking, whoreson, glass-gazing, superserviceable, finical rogue; one-trunk-inheriting slave; one that wouldst be a bawd in way of good service, and art nothing but the composition of a knave, beggar, coward, pandar, and the son and heir of a mongrel bitch; one whom I will beat into clamorous whining if thou deniest the least syllable of thy addition” (King Lear 2.2)

Here is your grand finale insult for that one person to whom you have been waiting to say something this deserving! This means you are vain, petty, and officious, and the end of this insult nicely touches on the fact that if the person denies what you are saying, you will beat them up.

Now that I have shared some of the best insult lines with you, it is time to create your own! Use this chart provided below to create your Shakespearean insults. Share in the comments which insults you came up with!


This website uses cookies

As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at:

Show Details
HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the or domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)
ClickscoThis is a data management platform studying reader behavior (Privacy Policy)