12-Love Letters from Vietnam - How to Make a Heart Flutter
Kate's Letter to the right was written BEFORE the letter from Tim on the 29th, but AFTER the phone call. Link to Complete Index of Letters
29 June, 1969
Hello my love. Please forgive the way I sounded on the phone today. It seemed to me later that I may have sounded indifferent. Please know that that was not my intention. As a matter of fact, during our weekly calls, I try to remind you of my love and need and I hope maybe you're happy. But to me, I never seem to express adequately what I feel. Perhaps you should have fallen in love with a poet and not an engineer like me. Please know how I cherish your love above everything else in my life.
For the past seven weeks our plans for the future have been in a state of limbo - not by my desire, but because of the situation. My prime goal in life is to give you happiness and fulfill your needs. And if it be what you want, be a part of your life. I'm only to well aware of the fact that I haven't much too offer, and sometimes this knowledge makes my dreams seem presumptuous. That presumptuous dream is to make you my wife. Perhaps if things work out and I make it through Officer Candidate School, I'll be in a position to ask you to marry me. Unfortunately in the army, all plans are tentative and maybe in my case a bit foolish. But then again, I have a right to be foolish, I'm in love. I couldn't in conscience ask you to be a fool by waiting for me or following my illusive dreams. But if you wait, and I pray to God with my whole heart that you do, all I can promise is that we two fools will be helpmates through this veil of tears.
I hope to get a leave in three weeks and we can talk more about our plans then.
I hope that your life is daily filled with joy and happiness and perhaps more importantly, that you have th opportunity to give of yourself and help someone each day.
30 June, 1969
This will be just a short letter. I'm close to tears as I write because I've been thinking about our phone call, and I'm so sorry for the way I acted. I'm hoping that few of the things I said, you either don't remember or else weren't bothered by. But it hurts to think I might have said anything to upset you. Most importantly, I want to apologize for asking if you could call later on in the evening next Sunday. Your call is the most important thing in my life. Please believe that. Lasting love is built on knowledge, knowledge of each other tha grows. I want to know and grow in knowledge of you, Tim and I hope you want to grow in knowledge of me. Our calls and letters are the only means we have now to attain that goal. Let's talk, Tim, the next time for as long as either or both of us needs to and wants to.
Secondly, I'm ashamed of having the flippancy to ask about what we would do when you cam home. It was kind of a rhetorical question, but it must have sounded awful. The only thing I want to do when you comehome is to be with you for as long as we can be together (and for as long as you want me to be with you.)
You wrote in your letter last week that you hoped you would be able to give me understanding. Please try to understand me now, Tim, and forgive me.
PS I'll be waiting for your call next week. Don't forget to call collect, Tim, it's much faster that was - no coins and stuff
1 July, 1969
Happy July! And it will be happy, the happiest month since May. But you only get three guesses as to the reason. Every month gone by is one closer to your being home.
Hey, do you think we have something telepathic going for us? Or is it because we've grown to love each other so that we both felt that we didn't sound right to each other last Sunday? I received your letter today, Tim, and there you were asking me to forgive you for the exact thing I asked forgiveness of you. It's getting close to the time you'll be home, and I guess we're both excited and anxious and a little bit frightened, don't you think?
Know what we both need - a lot more faith - faith enough to just take our lives and put them in God's hands and say, "Here God, you allowed us to meet, you allowed us to love. Our futher is uncertain. Only You can take care of us, and we trust your plans for our future. Please help us know your will, for we both believe Your will is the epitome of that which is both right and good." (It may not be one of the prescribed prayers out of the Young Seminarian, but will have to make do.
I love you, Tim, for as many reasons as go into explaining why you're you. Don't you see, Tim, that you've offered me the most precious gift I could ever want - your love. It's a gift that no other person who ever has or ever will exist could give me because no one lese is you. And all I can offer you is my love and my desire to make you happy.
PS No poet could have expressed his feelings more beautifuly than you did, Tim, in your letter. I love you so much.