4 Reasons Why The Zombie Apocalypse Will Be Less Interesting Than You Think
Many books and movie have been made about the horrors of a Zombie Apocalypse. However, in today's world, an all-out anarchy will be almost the opposite of what would really happen.
Many zombie flicks and novels show the Zombie Apocalypse starting all at once, all over the world. Realistically, only a handful of zombies might escape from a research facility in the middle of nowhere. The main theme in most zombie fiction is a virus, infecting the human race through an infected's bite. This assumes that zombies are in close contact with other humans, which is not exactly a case in a desolate place, like the Grand Canyon. The safest way to stop the apocalypse is to simply: Wait around for the zombies to rot away.
The biggest question would be how much time is necessary. Just 5 weeks should do it. If you can wait a year for Christmas, you can wait a month for the end of the apocalypse.
"But Arthur, wouldn't the zombies find somebody in 5 weeks, and spread the zombie virus from there", some people might say. While this may be true, the US government would hardly be twiddling their thumbs, waiting for a group of random citizens to take control of the action. At the very least, they will send the local police department to remove all threat of zombies in the area. At the most, they could send an entire army division. Even if those are not enough, the US can just call in a nuclear strike, destroying any problem of zombies, at least until next week.
While it is said in most fiction that zombies feed of radiation, it is important to keep in mind that one of the biggest dangers of a nuclear missile is its blast, instead of the nuclear fallout. To put it in perspective, here is a picture of what is left after a nuke blows up a house.
...and this is a picture of what is left after a nuke blows up a zombie.
3. Spread Control
So, we already have two reasons why the Zombie Apocalypse wouldn't really happen(That don't have to do with carnivore ducks).
We nuked the zombies, but they still came(proving completely resistant to basic laws of physics). How do we take them out now? With simple border security, of course.
Unless they can learn to walk several dozens of miles to the nearest city (On their rotting feet, no less), they will have trouble destroying anything more than a single city. To save themselves, a person simply needs to drive for 2 hours to another city, or go to the forest. Zombies, after all, aren't smart enough to drive cars. Except...
4. Intelligent Zombies
Somehow, über evil scientist Mr. Evilson has made zombies extremely intelligent! He has somehow made zombie chambers all over the world, made to be released at exactly the same moment! Also, he has even sabotaged all forms of explosive devices, making his zombies close to invincible! How do we save ourselves from a zombie that can think, plan, and calculate!
Now that zombies can think, is there any hope left? Should you barricade your door!? Feed your roommate to the lions? Or, perhaps, you should call the people who actually know how to do this?
In any scenario, the Army will solve all problems that have to do with zombies. During the Zombie Apocalypse, stay at home, relax, and watch some shows. If anyone asks, you're saving your strength.