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35 Funny Status for Facebook & Twitter Messages

Updated on March 24, 2011

Enjoy these Funny and Cool Facebook Status Messages. You can also use them in other social media network like Twitter, Friendster, Myspace and more. Get more "Likes" and "Comments" from your friends.

1. is going to the dark side...they have candy.

2. is going crazy. wanna come?

3. is riding ponies outside Wal-Mart. I need quarters.

4. Insert coin to view my status message.

5. In an interview, “I can multitask housework with facebook!”

6. I’ve always wondered if film directors wake up screaming “CUT! CUT! CUUUUUT!” when they have nightmares.

7. is the one who stole the frigg'n cookie from the cookie jar. Now shut up!

8. is proud of himself. He finished a jigsaw puzzle in 6 months and the box said 2-4 years.

9. is a mystery you'll never solve

10. Dear Mathematics, please grow and learn to solve your own problems and not to depend on others.

11. is about to stick a pin in your voodoo doll... brace yourself.

12. seen pictures of you naked on the internet.

13. I'm just trying to keep it together cause I can do worse and you can do better.

14. is clapping her hands and stomping her feet because she is happy and she knows it.

15. U have 10 fish, 5 drown, 3 come back to life. How many fish do you have? Stop counting smart one. Fish cant Drown.

16. Ah, to be in love and share it on Facebook!

17. is If money doesn't grow on trees then why do banks have branches?

18. decided to burn lots of calories today so I set a fat kid on fire!

19. WARNING: Objects in mirror are fatter than they appear.

20. X is color blind and trying to solve a rubiks cube. This could take a while.


35 Funny Status for Facebook & Twitter Messages

21. Why is a newspaper ten times more interesting when somebody across the table is reading it?

22. sometimes, not remembering mey be the better.

23. is throwing a clock out the window seeing if time really will fly

24. Sometimes? Late at night? I rearrange traffic signs. People need to be challenged.

25. I like to sugarcoat my words because I know I’m gonna to end up eating them.

26. The best way to hang up on someone is to do it in the middle of your own sentence, that way they will just think you lost service.

27. if only life came with a ◄◄ REW ► PLAY ▌▌PAUSE █▌STOP

28. Statistically, 132% of all people exaggerate.

29. ║▌║█║▌║▌││║▌║█║▌│║▌║█║▌║▌││║▌║ *ZAP* *BEEP* Price: $7.95

30. wanted to kill the sexiest person alive...but suicide’s a crime.

31. feels like getting some work done...and so he is sitting down until the feeling passes.

32. never questions authority, he annoys authority. More effect, less effort.

33. Asking dumb questions is easier than correcting dumb mistakes.

34. I just read a list of 'the 100 things to do before you die'. I'm pretty surprised 'yell for help' wasn't one of them.

35. I’d mind my own business if yours was a little less interesting.

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