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Marriage exercise that will instantly improve your marriage, a step by step guide.

Updated on March 9, 2018



WRITE DOWN A LIST OF EVERYTHING YOU DON’T LIKE ABOUT YOUR SPOUSE.

The first way to instantly improve your marriage is a marital practice that is practical and can be a fun activity for you and your spouse.

What your going to do first is both of you will write down everything you don't like about the other person. Trust me I know it sounds crazy. Write down everything you can't stand about your spouse and make the list as long as possible. From how you hate the way he picks his boogers to you hating the way she pops her gum.

Be brutally honest. Be uncomfortably honest because a lot of couples have a hard time communicating through really difficult issues. The point of the practice is to be as Transparent as possible.

GO DOWN EACH LIST LINE BY LINE:


You can flip a coin or choose who goes first. Once you decide who goes first you go through each written issue line by line and you have honest and safe conversation about each thing your spouse does not like about you.

It should be a safe environment for you and your spouse to be transparent without hurting the other person. The point of this exercise is not to start an argument or a heated debate. Its to be able to communicate and have authentic conversation about issues that your spouse may have with you.

This may take several hours or several days depending on how deep the conversation gets. But the point is to give your spouse a voice in areas that maybe they have felt silenced or didn't know how to address without hurting you.


FINALLY MEET IN THE MIDDLE SOMEWHERE


Finally we want to end with genuine healing. You to can examine each list and say what on this list can actually be changed and how much of the list is just your spouses character. You never want to try to hinder your spouse from being who they were created to be.

Certain things about your spouse you have to learn to accept because that is simply there character. For example if they have a big personality you cant expect them to become quiet because that's your preference. You will have to learn to love that aspect of them because that's how God created them.

There will however be things on the list that aggravates you that can be instantly changed. Like if your husband always leaves the toilet seat up, or if you wife uses her phone to much when your trying to spend time with her. Those things can see instant improvement and should help to improve the overall morale of your marriage.

You and your spouse will have to decide together what things on the list you have to learn to love about your spouse and what things can actually change overtime.

The point of the exercise is to understand that you are both flawed, frail, and imperfect people, and the goal is to learn to love your spouse and all there flaws. To love the totality of your spouse heart, soul, mind, and body.

This all is found in Genesis 2:25 " And the man and his wife were both naked and were not ashamed". These are the first 2 people God ever created. This is the first picture of marriage ever known to mankind and God says they were naked and without shame.

That's simply means that Adam the man accepted everything about Eve the wife and vice versa, and they were not ashamed to be naked before each other. They were completely comfortable being themselves, showing all that they were to there spouse.

Its the same for us, we should be able to stand naked in a manner of speaking, showing all of our brokenness, all of our flaws, all of our imperfections, all of our mistakes and be without shame because we know our spouse loves and accepts us for who we are. Do you love your wife, and all her mistakes?

This marital exercise should instantly improve your marriage. I wish you a long lasting and fulfilling life with your lovely spouse. I hope this practice blesses your marriage.



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