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7 Reasons Why We Can Be Happy with Our Solitude

Updated on August 20, 2017
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Charmaine loves to create and explore the role of intuition in her life and in her freelance works of poetry and writing.

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7 Reasons Why We Can Be Happy with Our Solitude


Are You Out? Are You In?

Is solitude a challenge for you? For me? It depends. Depends on which country I was born into and what the management team’s requirement and fit, asks of me.

In the country of Australia, we don’t like people doing well. It’s otherwise known as the Tall Poppy Syndrome. People will cut you down to the ground if you start to shine or excel. Australia prefers to grow people who are laconic, self-deprecating, unmotivated and non-creative.

If you were born in the country of India, it seems that the management team prefers to grow laid back, resilient, optimistic and philosophical people who enjoy the act of talking; and saying “no’, is hard to do.

It appears that the USA likes to produce individualistic extroverts who win, shine and get to the top. Americans are articulate right from the beginning. For a long time, it seems big is beautiful and better.


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Who Can Say What Is Right or Not?

Who can say what really is right or not? To me, each quality, trait and circumstance can be okay and useful when hitting the moderation button together with being held within its context.

There was a time when people who were later described as thought leaders, (e.g. Lao Tzu; Nietzsche) spent a great deal of time in solitude. Technology has made us think, group connection is better, and therefore, spending time in solitude is something to be stigmatized about. Yet, I feel you experience a greater personal emotional connection when you spend time in your own company. The how-to-connect technique given to us through technology, is just not fulfilling the human need for see, touch, feel as a species.

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Solitude versus Loneliness

Initially, we can assume that loneliness and solitude mean the same thing. However, if we look a little closer we find that loneliness and solitude differ in their meanings and range of experiences.

Loneliness is said to be an emotional state felt by people who are unhappy with their social connections. Here, you feel something is missing and also feel jaded. Loneliness is an experience of deficiency. Loneliness can feel like a punishment. Loneliness is something which is imposed upon you by others. Loneliness depletes the body and mind.

Solitude is where you experience little or no interaction with others. You are alone without being lonely. You enjoy your own company. Solitude is about giving yourself time to think, reflect and regain perspective. Solitude replenishes the body and mind. Solitude is an experience of peacefulness. Solitude is about feeling nurtured rather than being depleted.

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7 Reasons Why We Can Be Happy with Our Solitude

1. You can be happy with your solitude if you are living within a neighbourhood of a city or town (or just moved to a new location) and the people, their values and customs are the antithesis of what you hold dear or scared.

You have already been let down too often, that you now have set the fence higher so that entry is no longer easy or quick.


2. The upside of spending time in your own company is that you can listen to your own brand of music, read what you want, and watch the TV programs you enjoy, as well as, have the time to think and reflect on how to renavigate your life.


3. If you begin to find yourself finding people or events more uninteresting than interesting, you may need to step back and rejuvenate yourself in solitude, so you can restart seeing the everyday ordinariness from an unfamiliar or alternate perspective. To do that? It may simply be by beginning with a walk through your neighbourhood by following a pathway of innocence. Like adopting the openness of a trusting and loving child where you greet everyone and everything in sight with hello tree…hello butterfly…hello doggies…hello sunshine…hello breeze…Adopt a happy and welcoming stance with what is frequent and a part of your local neighbourhood. In other words, be grateful for what you do have.

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4. I do not know about you but with some things I am a fast learner and with other things, it can take a while before I get it.

I still find in the recesses of my mind, there still lives the memories of the harsh and critical personalities of people that impacted me in my life, together with still working with those critical/harsh sound-bytes that are sent to me internally, or, that I can copy and send out to you. This is in part, of my country’s unconscious training method, to teach me not to become too big for my britches.

While there is goodness in that type of development so that I can remain grounded, the flip side is, negating or squashing one’s potential or real abilities, will negatively impact your ability to step outside the box or take that well needed risk when you need to change course for the highest good. Therefore, I would encourage you to learn to become a better friend unto yourself instead of behaving like an enemy unto yourself, when you experience those moments of solitude.


5.Cherish every time you connect!

It seems when life deals you with a number of significant blows you realize how you have wasted your time and devalued the inherent gifts of time and timings. Time is the one and only true source of richness and fulfillment. So, I would say to you now, treasure it. Make the most of it. Be urgent about it. I made the mistake that I had plenty of time!

To me every person is a gift in waiting.

I used to believe that big, bold, dramatic people and events was what made up life and gave it quality. However, when life took all away from me, you begin to notice the hidden places where beauty resides and thrives.

There is NO such thing as a boring person.

Just keep looking, listening and you will see or feel the light rays of the person shine through. All you need to do is pay attention to the details.

Remember, too, reactions may look ever so simplistic to begin with but know that it may have taken years of readjustment and refinement so that all outward complexities are streamlined and now coming off as simplicity.

Everyone has a story that is special, unique and life changing.

Everyone has a unique stroy to tell
Everyone has a unique stroy to tell | Source


5.Maximize solitude by clarifying or reconfirming the life path you are treading. Ask yourself, is this life direction an expression of my highest good? Or, is this my most ideal aspiration/s?

Your life needs to keep having you ask more of yourself and your life. Not less. Find whatever tools or techniques to get you going and to keep you going.


6. Solitude is an excellent way to experience novelty within your own well of creativity. Put the rest and rejuvenation period of solitude, to work for you, in strengthening the quality of your connections, relationships and life in general.

Solitude is a better option than having temporary comfort from people and things as they end up eventually leaving you.

Once upon a time, solitude meant that you were a Monk sitting in a mountain cave on a Greek Island. Not anymore.


Here is a little poem I created to express the light and shadows of solitude…..


Solitude

Sitting with one’s thoughts,

friends in waiting casting lots.

Individualism gestating,

mushrooming into time spent in waiting.


The observer is serious,

contemplation is ethereal,

missing out on opportunities,

except now out of harm’s pleasure.


ethreal apiece
ethreal apiece | Source


It’s a relief,

to have time apiece.

To comfort who beats,

to peace’s release.


Away from other’s projections,

and misleading dimensions.

To find my own,

and what is true for me, grown.



What living life means to me at this moment, is balancing those periods of activity and connection with others with periods of connection with myself.

Remember too, everyone is the same on the inside.

We all bleed red blood when we hurt ourselves. We all need to feel loved and be acknowledged as well as share a smile and laughter with another.

If that means to you being the focus of everyone’s attention or the life of the party-fantastic! If that means you want to spend time daydreaming or inventing-fantastic! We all cannot all be the same on the outside. Like a box of crayons, there is a range of colours that makeup the one box of colours. So, where you can, please don’t go out on a limb to make another wrong. If you have had a hard time in assimilating another’s views or actions, you have the choice to engage or walk away. It’s your choice. Just ask yourself, what would a bigger person do here?



Thank you for stopping by and reading my creative writing piece.



Sources

https://www.theatlantic.com/health/archive/2017/03/the-virtues-of-isolation/521100/

http://www.sciencemag.org/news/2013/03/dangers-too-much-alone-time


Solitude

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© 2017 Threekeys

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    • profile image

      Threekeys 

      11 months ago

      You right, we are never truly alone Gypsy Rose (smile)

    • Gypsy Rose Lee profile image

      Gypsy Rose Lee 

      11 months ago from Riga, Latvia

      In solitude I have the time to be more creative. Besides there are always three of us - me, myself and I.

    • threekeys profile imageAUTHOR

      Threekeys 

      12 months ago from Australia

      I understand what you are saying jo. All the best to you and your loved ones.

    • jo miller profile image

      Jo Miller 

      12 months ago from Tennessee

      I'm definitely a person who is comfortable with solitude. My husband is very gregarious, so shortly after our relationship began I thought it important to tell him that I was the type of person who needed a lot of time alone. He's always been very understanding of that, so the relationship works well.

      I need my replenishing time. Afterward, I'm ready to enjoy people.

    • threekeys profile imageAUTHOR

      Threekeys 

      12 months ago from Australia

      Yes Demas walkung along the lake or enjoying the quietness of travel time is creative, calming and nourishing. Thank you Demas.

      Having the time and choice to having one's thoughts and imagination fired up and to experiment with where they can go, is a privlige and personal right. Sharing our life with another can be both comforting and empowering. We can feel stronger with a partner at our side. However, we will be the longest friend and partner we will ever have. Why not enjoy both when and where we can. All the best to you Louise.

    • Perspycacious profile image

      Demas W Jasper 

      12 months ago from Today's America and The World Beyond

      Solitude, especially out in nature, is a wonderful gift we are given. In a way, there is also solitude when driving alone on a long road trip, or just outside sitting on a swing, or by a lake. Treasure the moments and the opportunities they provide.

    • Coffeequeeen profile image

      Louise Powles 

      12 months ago from Norfolk, England

      I don't mind being on my own. As you say, you can do what you want with music and television. I sometimes do wish I had someone to share my life with though, but generally I'm okay with being on my own.

    • threekeys profile imageAUTHOR

      Threekeys 

      12 months ago from Australia

      Gracious and kind of you. Thank you whonu.

    • whonunuwho profile image

      whonunuwho 

      12 months ago from United States

      I enjoyed this work very much, my friend. Solitude has always been a part of my life that I have appreciated over the years. Many blessings. whonu

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