A Beautiful Women is Hard to Find
Whatever it was, she could tell the difference when her self-determination was stripped by her own virtues. She left one note to her parents: “Don’t look for me. I will serve God and I will die for him.” Samara Abbandonato at 27 had another virtue and that was to become a wife and mother and to die for it. She knew she had one asset that God gave her: the luxury and freedom that God will do whatever he has to do with her body. The agony in her mind needed to be relinquished in order for her to love that God. The men she conquered were never masculine enough for her. Every time she brought home a new man for her parents to meet, her father would smile and tell his wife, “alzo una puttana.” The mother always grinned and gently smacked her husband’s hand. Samara never learned how to speak Italian. She knows her father is jealous of the men she picks because they always seem to top him. Even the men she picks have to have seniority over the other.
She knew her journey would take a different path that relied on her core asset instead of her mind. Her only remorse is the cat she left behind. She knew that no animal should be treated with loneliness and despair, but her act towards her friend deeply hurt her. She hopes her cat understands this. Sometimes she’s so caught up with everything that she forgets to feed the cat.
She met her liaison when she got off the train. Both of them hugged, he was thankful for her to be here. He asked if she knew why she was here. “We will all die for our God, this is a necessary sacrifice we must carry out,” he whispered. “God can ask you many things, but you need to carry out your mission, that is why you’re here. Do you understand?” She nodded her head in agreement, “Yes I understand my mission and will do whatever God needs me to do, even if I die.” The liaison smiled and said, “It’s really too bad, I thought you would’ve been different.”
As they drove to the compound the liaison sat eerily quiet. She kept asking when she would finally get her uniform and go to war to fight for her God. She wondered if she would meet her new husband today. The liaison stared at her and continued to drive. They entered the compound and she carefully observed the five soldiers who stood guard. The guards couldn’t take their eyes off her. The car stopped and the leader emerged from the compound. The liaison made a motion with his hand and the leader acknowledged it. He had two pistols shoved inside his pants and a grenade in his breast pocket. He helped her out of the car and assured her that she would never be lonely again, “We’re going to find you a real bull of a husband so you can have all the kids in the world and to be part of our group when we need you, such as today.”
She was both nervous and elated. The leader gave her some clothes to put on to take some photographs. She complied and asked if she would receive further military training. The leader smiled, “Don’t worry, you’re going to get all the military training in the world. Plus you’ll be fed three meals a day. This is what God is all about; he does not live in luxury, he lives in misery and dirt. You need to have a strong will to survive in these conditions.” The leader shoved her to the ground and reiterated, “This is the dirt that we live in, don’t you ever forget it.” He lifted her off the ground. This time she couldn’t comprehend what was actually going on in her life and whether or not she was really fighting for her God.
She started to cry and asked for water. The leader refused to give her water and stated that the men need it. Hysterically, she replied, “How the hell am I going to live without water?” The leader bolstered back, “You live because you live; no different than anybody else that lives. Look at me, why do I live? Because I eat, I drink, I kill. That is why I live. Does a tree ask why it lives? The tree is there, you can see the tree, it also needs water and earth to grow. A tree can not ask itself why, so why should you? Do you understand we can not function without safety, stability, and order? If I believe that you are equal, what moral chart can we tell our children? Without order, the cause will fail and we will perish. God’s law has to triumph over human law. What you hear and what you see can never match. You should always trust your eyes because you never know if you’re dealing with an executioner.”
The leader nodded to the liaison, took his pistol out from his waistband, and executed the woman. The leader shouted to his guards, “Make sure she died in battle so she can become a martyr.” The leader smiled and put his arm over the liaison’s shoulder. His eyes were glued to the gun. One of the guards positioned himself looking squarely at the leader. The leader congratulated the liaison, “Good work. How did you know?” The liaison responded, “She was too pretty to be indoctrinated. She has everything going for her.” The liaison took a look at his watch, “I have to pick up one more this evening. This guy is good, he’s ugly and he knows his mission. He will fit in.” Joyfully, the leader returned to the compound. Just before the liaison got into his car he made sure to lift his head to see one of the guards, they both smiled.