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A Dot in the Horizon

Updated on December 29, 2015

The ground is beneath me

it used to be a bad day, a bad fight

now it is a whirlpool filled with loneliness

surrounded by people, about to hit rock bottom

somedays alone shaken and bitter inside of my own mind

my own worst enemy


My status has vanished

although they were monsters around me

a man that crushed and shattered my soul to piece

a popular insanity, friends that only knew my outer layer

silent because I was no leader

A small dot in a picture full of thousands looked at from far away


now driving further and further away from the mountain horizon

so beautiful you want a picture

but, you are only in a small dot in the whole scenery

driving further down hill, the picture disappears


Now what? Now who am I? Deranged from a group ran by hitler


Was it better? Was I somebody? What is my identity now?

Better choices followed by a lost sense of being on top


Now here I am.

I was a small dot surrounded, now it is me, solely me a dot with everything around it that disappeared


currently, a man in my life looking at myself in the mirror I see someone else


but, a small dot surrounded by people as if looking at a stadium with thousands


Now, status is nothing,


Skinny, blonde, tan, pretty, sought after is who I was


Now.. am I better? am I lost? Have I given up on my appearance?

or is this normal.. am I on the right path… Am I sinking to the bottom of a sea that only keeps going down?


What is normal? Will I ever be the beautiful horizon in the perfect picture as I am driving away?

moving forward will I be lost and found?


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