A Dot in the Horizon
The ground is beneath me
it used to be a bad day, a bad fight
now it is a whirlpool filled with loneliness
surrounded by people, about to hit rock bottom
somedays alone shaken and bitter inside of my own mind
my own worst enemy
My status has vanished
although they were monsters around me
a man that crushed and shattered my soul to piece
a popular insanity, friends that only knew my outer layer
silent because I was no leader
A small dot in a picture full of thousands looked at from far away
now driving further and further away from the mountain horizon
so beautiful you want a picture
but, you are only in a small dot in the whole scenery
driving further down hill, the picture disappears
Now what? Now who am I? Deranged from a group ran by hitler
Was it better? Was I somebody? What is my identity now?
Better choices followed by a lost sense of being on top
Now here I am.
I was a small dot surrounded, now it is me, solely me a dot with everything around it that disappeared
currently, a man in my life looking at myself in the mirror I see someone else
but, a small dot surrounded by people as if looking at a stadium with thousands
Now, status is nothing,
Skinny, blonde, tan, pretty, sought after is who I was
Now.. am I better? am I lost? Have I given up on my appearance?
or is this normal.. am I on the right path… Am I sinking to the bottom of a sea that only keeps going down?
What is normal? Will I ever be the beautiful horizon in the perfect picture as I am driving away?
moving forward will I be lost and found?