A Free Verse Poem - Recovery
Always saw you in the fading yellow glow of a neon orange sunset;
at the end of long day.
Did not realize I would never see you in the unfiltered white light of sunrise.
I missed the beginning and it was over before I was aware I held it.
Love begins to burn when not allowed to flow.
Did not realize what would have truly been.
Thrown off guard and put into a wordless awe as
the universe revealed it's self to me.
Minutes tick by endlessly and I don't know how to
fill in the spaces in my brain.
Obsession, I fear is not far behind.
It scratches at the backdoor of my heart,
and my soul tries to hid.
Ten years pass in instant; a heartbeat of time.
Even when everyday feels like another lost in darkness.
The light will shine through to you.
Pain tried to steal my will, and poisoned my soul.
But, I refused to be put down.
My candle burns bright.
My mind had cleared and I can see the blazing sun again.
The questions are answered, the very moment I started to
wonder if anyone really heard me.
I've been absent when I needed myself the most.
Never gave myself the benefit of a doubt.
Exposed and vulnerable to the seduction of my self built prison.
I had to vanquish the monstrous feelings of self-destruction.
To reveal all the amazing amounts of joy and beauty in this world.
Fought a loosing battle before I realized I wasn't being attacked.
Too easy to dwell on things not wanted.
Couldn't know my path was clear without some thought.
Needed only a moments grace to rearrange my view.
Stopped with the excuses and projections and Reimagined My Soul