A Great Time to Barf!
By: Wayne Brown
(Writer’s Note: I create this little poem in response to the second Stan Fletcher Nuthouse Writing Challenge. I hope to win second prize and receive the entire $8.02 offered! Wish me luck!)
I went to the Dinky Burger at lunch time today
I ate a greasy cheeseburger then was on my way
Just as I put on my coat and wrapped up my scarf
The burger came right back up…a great time to barf
My girlfriend cooked spaghetti for my birthday
What a nice surprise was all that I could say
But it wasn’t long after I consumed her concoction
That I began to really barf…there wasn’t any option
The company picnic has always been an annual treat
It’s a savory experience with lots of cheese and meats
I always eat my fill and then some; after all it is free
Shortly thereafter I am usually found barfing by a tree
The New Year’s Party was a late night fun affair
There was liquor and celebration permeating the air
I liked the free champagne; decided to drink my fill
Who knew it’d make me barf…that nasty bubbly swill.
I took a little vacation down to the coast of Mexico
I had heard good things about it; always wanted to go
They said don’t drink the water; who cares what they say
Now I’m hugging the porcelain and barfing my guts away
I could not wait to experience fishing in the blue ocean
We went out on a great big boat, riding the wave motion
But before I could catch my prize for all to regale
I found myself hanging on the side barfing on the rail
It seems that everywhere I go someone’s got it in for me
They slip something in my drink or food when I do not see
Soon I’ve consumed my fill and their plan is now complete
Then you’ll find right outside, doing my barfing in the street.
Why is it I am so prone to suffer such a retching fate?
While others seem to enjoy all that’s on their plate
But when I imbibe of all this booze, lavish food and junk
Very soon I am in the toilet, sadly blowing chunks
© Copyright WBrown2011. All Rights Reserved.
© 2011 Wayne Brown