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A Happy Day

Updated on February 24, 2008

Today I feel so happy..mom is moved and so I found a few jokes for laughs Hope you laugh.

Customer: I'd like a pair of alligator shoes.

Clerk:Yes, ma'am, what size does your alligator wear?

Armadillo is the Spanish Navy that defeated the Duke of Wellington

Pencils without erasers-----for those people who never make mistakes?

Newspapers printed on cellophane----so wives can see their husbands at breakfast time.

Teacher: Tommy, what are you drawing? Tommy: A picture of God

Teacher: But, nobody knows how God Looks. Tommy: They will when I get the picture done.

Albert: I don't have a pencil to take this exam. Teacher: What would you think of a soldier who went to battle without a gun? Albert: I'd think he was an officer.

Taxpayers: People who don't have to take a civil service test to work for the government.

Gossip: Rumortism.

What follows a cat wherever he goes? His tail.

Why did Robin Hood only rob the rich? Cause the poor had no money

Billy and Willy were at Sunday school studying about Noah's ark. On the way home, Willy asked, "do you think Noah did much fishing"? "How could he"? said Billy,"He only had 2 worms"

Teacher: Rodney, did you write this poem all by yourself?

Rodney: Yes I did

Teacher: then I am very glad to meet you. Robert Louis Stevenson, I thought you had died years ago.

What did the boy say when he found a button in his salad? " I guess it fell off when the salad was dressing."

What do you give other's and still keep yourself? A cold.

Knock Knock....who's there?...Wooden...Wooden who?...Wooden you like to go out with me?

Knock Knock...who's there?...Olive...Olive who?...Olive you... Do you love me?

Roses are red,...roses are yellow,...Grandfather's teeth are lost in the jello.

Roses are red, And your face is so pink; which proves you should speak Only after you think.

A commercial is a thing... That makes you whine and plead

For something you've just heard of...And for something you don't need.

Well so much for the jokes...Have a good day and God Bless G-Ma :o)

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    • G-Ma Johnson profile image
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      Merle Ann Johnson 8 years ago from NW in the land of the Free

      K@ri...old one here had to re-read myself...and Thanks sweetie for commenting...:O) Hugs & Peace

    • k@ri profile image

      Kari Poulsen 8 years ago from Ohio

      Thanks for the laughs!

    • G-Ma Johnson profile image
      Author

      Merle Ann Johnson 9 years ago from NW in the land of the Free

      Well I am not too fond of it...but something different...to keep up with you Mr photo changer Man. so you aren't doing the contest either? You look rather comfy in your pic. Must be warm there? G-Ma :o) hugs & kisses

    • Kenny Wordsmith profile image

      Ashok Rajagopalan 9 years ago from Chennai

      Nice jokes, and nice photo, G-Ma! A big close-up, all the better to see you...:)

    • G-Ma Johnson profile image
      Author

      Merle Ann Johnson 9 years ago from NW in the land of the Free

      O K you sweetie And good to hear from you..I have been following you just been so busy with moving my mom...Am back now tho...G-Ma :o) hugs

    • profile image

      Abhinaya 9 years ago

      Great jokes G-ma.Loved them especially the knock knock ones.Keep writing.

    • G-Ma Johnson profile image
      Author

      Merle Ann Johnson 9 years ago from NW in the land of the Free

      Thanks to Susan and the boys and Julie.. It was a tough week but she is so happy. and now I can relax more. You sure have been busy here on the hubs my dear. what's going on? Love to you and yours G-Ma :o) hugs & Kisses

    • Stacie Naczelnik profile image

      Stacie Naczelnik 9 years ago from Seattle

      I'm so glad you got her moved! Nice jokes.