ArtsAutosBooksBusinessEducationEntertainmentFamilyFashionFoodGamesGenderHealthHolidaysHomeHubPagesPersonal FinancePetsPoliticsReligionSportsTechnologyTravel

A Happy Ending After All

Updated on April 13, 2015

Today I found myself wallowing in my misery. Things seemed bad, yet not bad enough to be as unstable as I was. I longed for something. Something I could do, feel, or sing, anything to ease such an unruly feeling; where normally I would be happy. Finding the positive even was a drag. I wasn’t sure if I missed him; a man I loved so dearly and well our story is much too complicated to venture into but non the less I did miss him and he had gone. Although, when he left before I always knew it wouldn't be long before I’d see him and even if I was angry with him talking to him and seeing him was beautiful and always moved me to peace. But this time he was gone. Off to pursue his dreams and chase his goals. He would hit the road after training and I for the first time had no idea when I would see him again. Simultaneously I came to the realization, I am at a young enough age to still have a bright future but old enough to be better established. I reside in my parents’ house with a seven year old who is dependent on me. I've been working on my business and trying to change the bad qualities in myself and discover who I am, and yet it seemed as if the harder I pushed the more my dreams, goals, and plans slipped away. I walked around the house knowing the power of my own thoughts and I prayed hoping I’d get myself out of this sad unnecessary trans I had so easily slipped into. And although writing crossed my mind it seemed at a lease something a wanted to do. I slept for days and wondered in my mind seeking answers. How can I keep going? What am I to do? What is my next move? Finally something moved me to sit at my mother’s computer. And I had no desire to do anything. Even though I have tons I could work on to move me forward in my business ventures.

What is faith? I’ve learned its acting even when you do not know what to do. So I ventured through a few social media sites and hubs and slowly found myself moved by some really good writing. I’m listening to Reason Yiruma arranged by Kelvin Lee on repeat and finally the light shines through in my mind. And I finally found the strength to write. A passion I had somehow extinguished or viewed as a burden. And I found I didn't want to write my pain but instead my joy, my love, my peace, my journey, and discoveries.

Although heartbroken by the man I spoke of earlier, I never felt such love and compassion as his. How could a man be capable of loving so much? When I was with him my energy just flowed with his and I wanted to give him all of me in every way. Every one expresses, feels and perceives love differently. And only by taking bits and pieces of others stories and music and experiences will allow you to describe how you feel personally; if you have not the capability to truly describe how you feel. And although I feel I lack the education and vocabulary to fully describe my feelings, I believe more that there isn't words to describe this feeling. Maybe a combination of music and cleverly written words would do better but in any case I’ll do my best to explain such a beautiful feeling I feel every woman should experience.

Apart of me didn't want to open up to him because of pain in the past but he brought it out of me. I would find myself in tears of unexplained happiness as he lay on my lap and I rubbed his head. A simple connection exhibited so much intimacy. He grab my hand and helped me out of a dark place in my mind. And I could see life again through untainted eyes. The dark shield the world had covered my site with, he slowly removed and there he stood; tall, handsome, and glistening in every light from the sky. Just to be near him I began feeling tingly, more than just arousal but mentally and from my every fiber within. He had managed to challenge me, touching both my mind and heart. And for a moment I thought this was unreal, how I could love this man so much. I wanted to do nothing but be around him all the time. The look in his big round eyes moved me and motivated me in ways I could never imagine. The talk of his plans and his visions excited me and I hung on to every word. When he held my hand I felt as if he could never lead me astray and my trust in him grew the tighter we squeezed. I felt secure in his arms as if no one nowhere could get to me and he would always be there to protect me. And when I lie on his chest I would drift off to a special paradise only I was allowed. All I wanted was to make him happy, take care of him, and aid him in every way humanly possible to achieve his life’s mission. I think of his smile and his love and he rendered such strong emotion in everything and anyone he met no matter the feeling. His power physically and mentally radiated from his very being. Making love to him changed my life. Never had a man had me so open mentally and physically. I wanted to give him my everything and so I did. Falling deeper in love with him every day. The connection I still feel when I am around him is indescribable. It’s like the ocean beating on the sand. The wind blowing calmly. The smell of orchids and roses filling the air. Birds singing, bells ringing and light music softly playing. The acoustic guitar in complete harmony with the piano and the softest touch down you neck and your skin trembling excitedly. Your tummy turning flips and your mind alerts all of your senses. All which I've previously describe together at once. That’s how I felt and still feel when I’m with him. And although life has taken us separate ways, I love him and I have no regrets. I also never felt a pain as I felt when we parted but the privilege of experiencing what is possible to receive and most important what’s possible for me to give is an incredible wonderful gift I’ll always cherish. So I find peace knowing this was a beautiful life lesson. And to know I could feel this way with someone I wasn't meant to spend life with I can barely imagine what’s in store for the right person.

So after weeks of wondering and looking. I got it. I’m motivated and I would not change anything I've experienced.I'd keep the good as well as the bad. Everything has it purpose and everything happens for a reason. And I've learned must important that it’s my perception and my choice what I take, what’s learned and what I decide to do with life’s lessons. So I’ll continue to grow, love and be at peace as much as I can. And I’ll continue to search for the light in every situation. The end of yours or any story is either good or bad depending on your point of view.

Yiruma) Autumn in my Heart - Reason (Guitar) - Kelvin lee


    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment

    No comments yet.


    This website uses cookies

    As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

    For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at:

    Show Details
    HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
    LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
    Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
    AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
    Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
    CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
    Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the or domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
    Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
    Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
    Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
    Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
    Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
    Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
    Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
    ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)