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A Heart to Heal IV
Part 4 of 4 and counting
Please note that this is part 4 to a series. If you have not read parts 1, 2, and 3 of "A Heart to Heal" to prior to reading this one. I feel that it will help you understand the full story as with any chapter book.
Please enjoy this story and make any comments good or bad, I appreciate all feedback!
The story goes on
March of 1997 seems so long ago; Kyle and I were 17 years old and still in love. I was working part time at a grocery store in Jefferson City; in the Seafood Department of all places. I put in hours after school and every other weekend. The weekends I worked Kyle would pick me up when my shift was over and we would spend the rest of our time together.
Everything was going great except for one thing, I was starting to get sick. I was tired all the time, had no appetite and when I did eat couldn’t keep much of anything down. My mom took me to the doctor several times and was told I had the flu and then when that didn’t go away they said it was Mono. The whole time we were trying to figure out what was wrong with me my Mom was saying “Marie, I just know you are pregnant.”
I would reply, “Mom that is impossible, I’m not pregnant.” She was adamant about me being pregnant; so I decided to prove her wrong.
It was a Sunday night; I was working evening shift at the store, I talked one of my friends that I worked with to purchase a pregnancy test for me. My shift ended and I arrived home at 11:00 p.m. I was impatient and even though the test instructions said “best if done first thing in the morning” I just had to do it right away. I figured “what would it hurt; she got me a two pack. If it’s negative now then I can sleep easy and take the other one in the morning before Mom goes to work to prove her wrong.”
I went into the bathroom and nervously urinated on the little stick. I stuck the test on the counter thinking that I had to wait 3 minutes like the instructions said and when I stood up to pull my pants up I glanced over and saw that the test had already shown a positive result. I pulled the instructions back out of the trash to make sure what I was seeing was right and the positive result was confirmed. I was shocked and in denial.
I sat in the bathroom on the toiled for what seemed like an eternity crying and waiting for another urge to urinate came along. I was able to manage to squeeze out enough drops to do the second test. I didn’t even take the time to sit it on the counter again, I sat there and stared at it and watched as one line showed and then the other almost instantly.
My disbelief instantly turned to fear. I ran to my mom’s room and shook her.
“Mom………….Mom!” I said as I shook her again. No reply came. I shook her again more aggressively this time and putting urgency into my voice saying, “Mom, wake up. PLEASE!!!”
She rolled over and said in a sleepy voice, “What Marie?”
“Mom, I bought a pregnancy test at work tonight.”
“So,” she said still sleepy but slightly aggravated. “What did it say?”
I burst into tears again and sobbed, “I’m pregnant.”
“Hmph,” she said sleepily. “I told you so, now go to bed. It’s ok.” She then rolled over and started snoring instantly.
I sat there for a moment, sobbing still, thinking “she said it was ok.” I went to my room and shut the door. I climbed into my bed, making the decision that sleep was important at this time since I had school in the morning. The last thing I thought was, “Oh God, how am I going to tell Kyle?”
I woke up the next morning hopeful that the news from the night before was all just a dream. My mom came in and gave me a hug and said “How are you this morning?”
“You actually remember me coming to your room crying?” I asked. “I thought you were half asleep and wouldn’t remember.”
“I remember Marie,” she replied.
“I’m pregnant. Doesn’t that bother you?”
“Well I’ve known you were pregnant. It’s not a surprise to me. It’s already done, what can I do about it?” she stated.
“I’m keeping it,” I stated.
“I knew you would. We will be fine and you can do this.”
She finished getting ready for work and gave me a hug as she left the apartment. I finished getting ready for school then headed to Westphalia. I didn’t even turn the radio on; I just drove. I stopped at the store for my daily Dr Pepper, a pack of Camel Lights in a Hard pack, and got Cheetos for breakfast. I got half way to Westphalia and continued with my morning routine of lighting up my first morning cigarette. I pulled a cigarette out and lit it up. I took two drags before I stopped myself and out loud I said to myself, “What the hell am I doing? I’m pregnant!”
I threw my lit cigarette out of the open window and grabbed the pack of cigarettes and tossed them out the window as well. I drove the rest of the way to school in silence, contemplating how I was going to tell Kyle that I was pregnant.
I arrived to school and parked my car right next to my best friend’s car. She was sitting in her car smoking and looked over at me. Then got up and hopped into my car to chat while we waited for it to be time to go in to school.
“Hey, what’s up? You been crying?” Alice asked.
“Yea, a little,” I replied. “Had a rough night.”
“What happened, you and your mom get into another fight?” she asked.
“I wish, would be a lot easier to deal with. Promise you won’t say anything to anyone?”
“Ok? You know I won’t. What’s going on Marie?” She asked with a serious look on her face.
“I’m pregnant,” I said.
“What!? Does Kyle know? What’d your mom say?” she exclaimed.
“I haven’t told Kyle yet, Mom just said ‘I told you so’ then fell back to sleep last night when I told her.”
“Oh my God, what are you going to do?” she asked.
“Well I’m not going to have an abortion, that’s out of the question. I think I’m gonna keep it. Don’t say anything to anyone until I talk to Kyle about it, okay?” I asked with hope of reassurance. The last thing I needed was this to get around school before I could talk to Him or before He could talk to his parents. His sister Ann would love to run home and tattle on Kyle. She would make this into something it wasn’t.
“Don’t worry, I won’t say a word,” she assured me. “This is so cool though! You’re gonna be a mom!”
“Shut up!” I exclaimed. Just then I saw Kyle’s truck pull in the parking lot.
I waited for him to finish his cigarette and then went over to him and we walked in together. As we were walking in we looked at each other and at the same time we both said “We need to talk.”
We both looked at each other with questioning looks and continued to walk. I walked with him to the band room and we went to the stage to talk.
I said, “Let’s make sure nobody else is out here first. I don’t want anyone else to hear this.”
He agreed and we both looked around to make sure we were alone.
“What did you need to talk to me about?” I asked.
“You first,” he replied.
“Okay,” I said nervously. I took a deep breath and looked down at the floor as I said, “I’m pregnant. I’m keeping the baby. You don’t have to stay with me; I know this wasn’t supposed to happen. You don’t have to be a part of the baby’s life; I can do it on my own. I just want you to know it’s okay if you choose not to stay with me because of this. I do love you though.”
I looked up at him and saw tears forming in his eyes. I could see the fear and shock in his expression.
“I’m sorry, Kyle.”
“It’s not your fault, it’s our fault. It’s ok. I’m not going to leave you because of it. We can do this together,” he said softly as he grabbed me and pulled me closer to him and hugged me.
We stood there for a few minutes and then the bell rang.
“We gotta get to class,” he said.
“Yea, unfortunately. Are you gonna be okay?” I asked.
“Yes, I’m scared but I will be okay,” he said as we walked off the stage.
“Wait!” I said stopping right outside the band room door. “You said you needed to talk to me about something too. What was it?”
“It was nothing,” he said looking away from me. “I can’t even remember what it was anymore.”
“Are you sure?”
“Yea, I’m sure,” he replied and we went on to our classes.
If only he would have went first. I guess if he had went first we wouldn’t be together, I would have never told him I was pregnant, I would have dropped out of school and be raising my son by myself right now.
It was several years later that he finally told me what he wanted to talk to me about that morning. He was planning on breaking up with me but when he let me go first and tell him my news he decided to do the “right” thing and stay with me. He also told me that had he broke up with me that day then he would have never known how in love with me he could actually fall.
Our love continued to grow as we grew. It’s funny how things work out in the long run. I guess that is life; there is always more than one road to follow and each one takes you to a different destiny. If we follow our hearts then we are sure to go the right way.
Kyle and I have always found our way to each other. Our hearts always wanted each other even if our minds didn’t.
A Heart to Heal Links to other chapters
- A Heart to Heal Part III
Dont forget to read Part 1 and 2 if you havent already!! It will make this part make more sense. Once you have finished the first 3 parts read part 4 as the story goes on. Vote it up if you like it! ...
- A Heart to Heal
A love story waiting for an ending. From the start of the relationship till present. Written from the heart, this is only the first part, Continue with me, the end is yet to see. Sometimes in...
- A heart to heal Part II
He stole my heart, he broke through the walls I built around it and he stole it. From that point on I was his, he didnt know it yet but I was his and forever would be. My heart filled with love...