- Books, Literature, and Writing»
- Comics & Graphic Novels»
A List of Jobs That Superman Could do If DC Comics is Down sized
WRITER'S NOTE: I'm back. For a little while. By way of explanation, I had to undergo retina attachment surgery three separate times from July to August of this year. My eyes are still healing, but I wanted to not only thank my loyal and much-appreciated followers for sticking with me, but to offer them my deepest apologies for not being around on HubPages. Sincerely, Kenneth
Since February of 1935, DC Comics has been in the forefront of comic book publishing. An overlooked fact about comic books is that they have been instrumental in helping to shape our society in the United States, possibly the world.
Comic books used to sell for a nickel. That was big money many eons ago. But in 2013, they can sell from $2.75 to $5.00 depending on the company, the story lines and the characters.
Comic book publishing is no longer a source of innocent, childish entertainment, but big business. I am honest. Ask publisher emeritus, Stan Lee, creator of Spider-Man, Incredible Hulk, The Fantastic Four and more stars of comic book ink. Lee will be first to tell you that he was among the fist to give comic books that certain flair with a dash or two of real life to make his characters more realistic, so to speak.
I can remember a time in my life, a time when my eyes first caught a glimpse of a gent dressed in a blue costume adorned with a red cape over his shoulders and a huge yellow "S" on his muscular chest. I was excited when my mom walked into our local Rexall Drugstore and purchased my first DC Comic for a dime. Man, how inflation had caused comics to raise their prices from a nickel to a dime.
All in all, I was so excited by getting so read all about "The Man of Steel," that I protected my first comic book as if it were stolen gold from Fort Knox. To me, it was the same as stolen gold. I for-bad anyone from touching my comic book. Even my dad, who took an instant-liking to Superman.
Dad and along with the entire United States and the world at large. Superman was "the man" then and still "the man" in 2013.
Superman has been through it all. Fights with aliens, monsters who crashed on earth, gangsters, thugs and even his arch enemy, Lex Luthor, who I hear is in rehab for "Evil Addiction," somewhere in a seclude retreat behind some prison walls.
But what if one day the head of DC Comics and his or her board of directors decided to down size their comic book? Startling to the brain in my honest opinion. But all possible in today's business world of outsourcing, lay-off's, and shutting down. I said what if, so do not get alarmed. I am simply posing that question and at the same time, stepping in to help out our buddy, Superman, a/k/a Clark Kent, mild-mannered reporter for the Daily Planet newspaper and once married (in the movies) to the alluring Lois Lane. What a hot chick she was, and is.
I say helping Superman, by offering to him and you, this list of jobs, some paying and some not just to keep him in the public eye and knowing us human beings, if he were to stay out of our sight for a lengthy period of time, Superman would only be a faded memory. God forbid.
So, if DC Comics chooses to take that foolish route of down sizing in the far future, here are some jobs that Superman could do and well, be really "super" at each of them . . .
FLYING OVER GRAND CANYON on a motorcycle. Not like the rocket-version by the late daredevil, Evel Knievel, but literally sitting atop a Harley with aviator sunglasses on and cape fluttering in the wind as he easily flies over this American icon. Some might marvel (no pun for Stan Lee) at Superman's bravery, but listen. He still has his super powers, but not too much to do in the pages of DC Comics.
STOCK BOY or stock person in any given supermarket. Now knowing Superman like I do, he wouldn't want to cause six to ten stock persons to lose their job simply because he could do their jobs very easily as they could, but he would tone-down his super speed in stocking his twelve rows of shelves that contain sardines, soups, cake mix, and olive oil. Superman has always had a soft spot for the "underdog," and this gesture of not outdoing the six stock persons proves my point.
POLICE OFFICER on any beat in any city in the world. From the tamest to the most crime-ridden neighborhoods on earth, Superman, dressed as a beat cop, except no firearm, could easily round-up any would-be drug dealers, murders and thieves. But since Superman uses his X-Ray vision to see through walls to find out where the criminals are hiding, he feels as if he only needs half a paycheck to help his department save money. And as for a sure promotion, "no thanks," Superman laughs. "just doing my job." What a great man (of steel).
LION TAMER and the best lion tamer in the circus industry. I dare say that in a week or two, Superman would pack the tents with his taming of ferocious lions and tigers without a chair or whip, but with his bare hands. Those dangerous jungle cats would jump up and sing "New York, New York" whenever he whistled. People of all ages would crowd around the massive cages just to see Superman take charge of the show. But leave it to one smart alec to heckle, "aww, you are Superman. You cannot get hurt! Phony!" But Superman in his firm but diplomatic nature would softly reply, "say, fella. You want to get in this cage and tame the lions?" No more heckling.
NIGHTCLUB SINGERnow as I understand it, there are still huge casino's in Las Vegas and in south Mississippi who pay big bucks for famous singers and bands. Not to be denied, some fast-thinking casino or fabulous hotel owner says one day to his staff, "get me Superman. I hear that he is out of a job since DC Comics has downsized," and so fate turns toward Superman to fill the want of the casino or motel owner. Can't you just picture Superman dressed "to the nines," in a special-tailored tux with black patent leather shoes, gelled hair and belting out a salute to "Ol' Blue Eyes," Frank Sinatra by singing "My Way." Now Superman with is super lungs can hold a note for as long as he wants, so the casino or motel owner can count on a sold-out house every night of the week. Would Superman accept pay for his singing? Sure. He feels that this is a new area of his life and he should be paid at least minimum wage for his talents.
FOOTBALL COACH this pretty much explains itself. Whether it's college or pro football, Superman would be the ideal fit. Superman wouldn't have to scream and yell at his players to do their jobs. They would consider it a great honor to play for a comic book legend. Talk about national titles and Super Bowl wins, well no problem for coach Kent. Or is that coach Superman?
AIRLINE PILOT we all know that Superman can fly as fast as a speeding bullet, but this job would require him to sit down in the cockpit and maneuver a 767 jumbo jet filled with fans and travelers. One question? Is Superman able to pilot a plane? Well, no. But with some training, his super brain would retain all the vital info for him to be the best airline pilot flying today. And if his airliner would to encounter trouble, all he would have to do is slide outside the plane and literally put it on his back and land with no injuries to any passenger. I think Superman would make an ideal airline pilot.
WRITER sure, Superman would make a Pulitzer Prize winning author. As Clark Kent he had to type his stories for Perry White, his publisher at the Daily Planet, so he could write his own memoirs or hire some talented typist looking for a job to do his typing for him. What unemployed female typist would turn down a chance to work for Superman? None. His book, "Mu Life Has Been Super," would burn through the roof of the New York Times Best Seller List overnight. I would buy a copy just to get his autograph at a book signing held at a nearby Books-A-Million. Wouldn't you?
and lastly . . .
ASTRONAUT working for NASA. But no space shuttle to pilot, so what is Superman to do? Well you might think this is weird. Maybe funny, but I see him transporting groups of people (dressed in space suits) to our new territory to conquer: Mars. And in record time. What a memory to share with your grand kids. "I flew to Mars on Superman's back," you might say to the amazed grand kids.
Then have to fight off your disgust when they ask . . ."gramps, who's Superman?"