A New Beginning! Chapter Four- Many Firsts
First Time Meeting The Kids
Shortly after meeting Kane's family, he introduced me to his two oldest children. To say that it was nerve wracking is definitely an understatement. I didn't know to what to say or how to react around them. I hardly spoke the first time I met them. I had felt a little like an outsider looking in, just watching the way that Kane and the kids interacted with one another. His daughter is definitely 'Daddy's Girl'. Watching Kane interact with his kids put me at ease with wanting him to meet my boys. I pictured a life with him and our children. It took me a while to warm up to them. But I started to bond with his daughter first. I had found that we had some of the same interests. We both like to read, we both have a knack for playing video games, we both like to watch Tik Tok. The first time meeting was a little awkward, but we ended up getting past the awkward stage.
The first time that I introduced Kane and the boys was when I brought the boys to his parents house for the first time. The boys were shy at first, but having Kane's kids there made them break out of their shells. The kids played with toys and played some video games that evening. It made me feel complete to see all the kids there together with us. The kids took to Kane quickly. After that first meeting they ask him about him constantly. When it was time to leave that evening, the kids weren't ready to go. Even still to this day they ask about Kane and his kids.
Kane has two younger children that he isn't allowed to see for different circumstances, all of which I will not name. But I know that Kane loves and misses them everyday. I wish that Kane were allowed to see his youngest two children.
First 'I Love You'
As the days went by and turned into weeks my feelings for Kane had grown a little more each day. The little moments between us meant the world to me. From him singing to me in the truck, to him doing goofy little dances to make me smile, to him doing this really weird 'Patrick' voice, to him making this goofy face, to him playing with my hair to help me relax, to him holding me when I cried, to him dancing with me at odd moments just to get me to come out of my shell more, to him tickling me just to hear me laugh, to him opening up to me about his past, to him telling me about his hopes and dreams. Everything that he does means the world to me.
The first time Kane told me he loved me we had been asleep. I had turned over in his arms. I had just started to get comfortable and start drifting back to sleep. Kane had spoke the three words that I had been waiting to say myself, but had been to afraid of saying for fear that it was too early to say or that he didn't feel the same. He had spoken 'I love You' so softly that I had thought he was saying it in his sleep. After hearing the words I had been shocked beyond belief. The only thing I could think to say was 'What did you say?' it took a few moments before he had said it again. I didn't think that he was awake, so I had drifted back off to sleep in his arms that night.
A few days later I had told him not to say the words unless he actually meant them because I had been tired of getting hurt in the past. He swore that he had told me he loved me three times that morning, but I must have drifted off to sleep before I heard it the last time. Kane is the only man I have ever hesitated when telling my feelings to. I hesitated because I thought that if I had finally admitted the truth, that his feelings for me would change. It took us getting into an argument for me to finally admit to him that I am hopelessly in love with him.
First Halloween together was just like any other day. We had both had plans to try to go to a party that night. He had gotten the time wrong for his party, and I had made an excuse not to go to my friends party because I had wanted to spend the night with him.
First thanksgiving together we had split it into three different ways. We had Thanksgiving with his family, I had Thanksgiving with my children and my family, and then we had shared a Thanksgiving between the two of us. Spending Thanksgiving with his family, his mother had made a delicious dinner. We spent time with his family and his children, and then we left after Kane and his twin brother had gotten into an argument. I had only been able to spend lunch with my children on Thanksgiving with my children because my sister was planning on doing Thanksgiving dinner at her fathers with my boys. So we ate lunch at Steak N' Shake. I got to watch my boys make a mess while eating because they were too busy playing around to actually focus on eating their lunch. For Thanksgiving dinner Kane and I had ate at Steak N' Shake because there was no food to make in the house and it was just easier to go out to eat. Even though the day hadn't turned out as planned our dinner had made it a little better. I had wanted to give him something special, a reason to believe in holidays again. I know that it was not what he had been looking forward to, but it was the best that I could do.
Christmas went much the same. We had spent Christmas with his family on the 23rd, and I had spent Christmas morning with my boys. Christmas this year was an emotional experience for me. It was the first Christmas I was celebrating since my grandmother's passing three years prior. I had spent the week prior to Christmas fighting not to break down at random moments throughout the day. I had bought Kane a promise ring that says 'Her King' on it with a blue rhinestone, because I know he likes the color blue. I had a custom picture of the constellations made the night that we had gotten together for his second gift, and I had also bought him a Christmas card. I couldn't wait for Christmas for him to open his gifts. I had been too excited and nervous to wait, plus I hadn't wanted him to open his gifts in front of his family because it was too intimate to me. Kane had bought me a four picture locket that I will cherish for all time. I can't remember the last time anyone had bought anything for me. Spending time with his family had been amazing. I had time to bond with his parents and children more. It was a perfect day. Christmas morning with my children was a little hectic seeing as how they had 67 presents to open. My sister hadn't been kidding about wanting to go all out for Christmas since we hadn't celebrated it since my grandmothers passing. We had watched one of the Home Alone movies that day that reminded us of our childhood with our grandmother. I had spent the rest of Christmas day with Kane, and I couldn't have asked for anything more.
Our first news years was a time to remember. Kane and I had picked up some friends to help them out and we ended up hanging out for a little bit. We all danced and sang to music while riding in the truck. Laughed at jokes. It was a fun night. Kane was driving when our friend and her boyfriend were saying midnight was steadily approaching. Kane and I kissed three minutes before the clock struck midnight. Three kisses and an I love you. Kane pulled the truck over on the side of the highway at 11:59. Our friends had gotten out of the truck to have their new years kiss. Once the clock struck midnight we shared our new years kiss. Truth be told it was my first new years kiss ever. Kane then confessed to me that he never thought he would be with me and that he thought it was a miracle. We kissed again and held each other for a moment. Come to find out after admitting that it was my first new years kiss, that it was his first as well. It made for a perfect moment.
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