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A Note On the Desire to Be Physically Attractive...

Updated on August 27, 2012

Some of us spend years of our youth desiring more than anything else to be physically attractive, good looking, beautiful, or sexy. It can be a terrible thing to desire beauty, perhaps even worse than desiring to be rich or famous or powerful. Just ask all the young girls that have suffered through years of eating disorders or the women that have had one plastic surgery after another, trying to buy the feeling of being desirable often without success.

And the ones that do at last find a picture in the mirror that they can be content with, often find that the "beauty" they finally attained is useless. Yet so many of us are greedy for it anyway, just as people are often greedy for money and fame. And all of these so often prove so useless to getting us to a place where we can be happy. And just as useless perhaps is the need to be loved and noticed or maybe it's kind of the same thing.

So when do shallow ambitions begin to swallow us up? Don't we always sort of know better even from the beginning? There are many factors I suppose, but for so many I believe that it begins with a comparison. Someone we want to be like, to be better than, or at least be on the same playing field with. We are tired of other people always getting what we wanted.

We get caught up in an illusion, the illusion that we can worship superficial beauty without losing ourselves, or worse, we deny that we are worshiping it at all. We cling to the dreams that we think we can control and continue climbing ladders on all the wrong walls.

But eventually, if we are lucky, the illusion fades. We find ourself again. We realize it's not the reflection in the mirror that matters. We get over ourselves. We understand the foolishness of self-obsession. We look up at the clouds and laugh. We start to enjoy sunrises again. And regardless of how many people 'desire' us, we no longer feel alone.


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    • profile image


      6 years ago

      Love is an expression of inner beauty. Does one give love on a daily basis? Does one feel Loved on a daily basis? Hope is a belief in a positive outcome related to events and circumstances in one's life and the lives of others. This can only come from a place of inner beauty. Do you feel compassion toward another human being when you see them in pain or suffering? Compassion comes from inner beauty, at times you can feel it tug at your heart, sometimes you can ignore it but deep down it’s always there.


    • btrbell profile image

      Randi Benlulu 

      6 years ago from Mesa, AZ

      Very, very true. If only society would not put so much emphasis on beauty. I have found the Dove commercials and projects so refreshing. Thank you for this hub!

    • profile image


      6 years ago

      HI Koshaugh,

      True beauty comes from within. Not from a bottle or plastic surgery.

      Voted up and awesome

      Take care :)

    • Gypsy Rose Lee profile image

      Gypsy Rose Lee 

      6 years ago from Riga, Latvia

      There are people who consider being physically attractive the only important thing in life and when you take away the clothes the people themselves are often shallow and have no beauty in them. It's the beauty within that counts clothes are just the shell.

    • NateB11 profile image

      Nathan Bernardo 

      6 years ago from California, United States of America

      I really like your honest and straight forward approach to addressing this issue; I like how you likened wanting beauty to other forms of greed and to self obsession. It seems to me that a person at some pointsasks the question, What is beauty? That is, after seeing that it is not merely physical beauty, it is not any kind of self obsession or acquirement or requirement; but whether there is some other beauty beyond all that. Thanks for this piece, I enjoyed it very much.


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