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I Wonder

Updated on January 21, 2017
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I wonder who you would look like


Would you have my hair and smile


Or would you favor your daddy instead


Would you grow up to be a star athlete


Or would you be a famous singer instead


Would you read books all day


Or would you rather run and play



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What would your favorite color be


Where would you go to school


Would you be a boy


Or would you be a girl


I guess I will just keep wondering


Year four and you're still not here


I am wondering about a lot right now


As much as I smile on the outside


I feel like dying every time I see that minus sign


Which means you're still not here


I just wish God would see fit to let my wondering stop


I really wish you were a reality that was attainable for me

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    • kidscrafts profile image

      kidscrafts 4 years ago from Ottawa, Canada

      Very nice poem about infertility! It's sad when things are not working properly; I know, I 've been there.

      I especially love your first picture....very sweet!

      I can't see the video in Canada :-(

    • prettynutjob30 profile image
      Author

      Mary 4 years ago from From the land of Chocolate Chips,and all other things sweet.

      Thank you for commenting kidscrafts, it really does get frustrating when the one thing you want more than anything is the one thing you really can't make happen no matter what you do.

    • Annie Miller profile image

      Annie Miller 4 years ago from Wichita Falls, Texas

      Very moving poem, prettynutjob. I know how difficult it must be. My brother and I were adopted after my parents more or less gave up ... my sister was born less than two years later. Keeping you in my thoughts.

    • WillStarr profile image

      WillStarr 4 years ago from Phoenix, Arizona

      I just got off the phone with my 30 year old sister-in-law, who has great news...she is finally pregnant after 10 years, and then I read this.

      Maybe a good omen? I hope so!

      This is also a very good work. I am impressed with your talent.

    • Vellur profile image

      Nithya Venkat 4 years ago from Dubai

      An emotional poem. There is always hope and a rainbow in the darkest of skies. Great poem.

    • Mhatter99 profile image

      Martin Kloess 4 years ago from San Francisco

      Speaking as a man, this great thought is not limited to fertility.

    • jlpark profile image

      Jacqui 4 years ago from New Zealand

      I like this. Thank you for sharing your personal innermost thoughts about the child you are striving for. A side note - as a woman who has recently miscarried her first pregnancy - these are the same thoughts I have been having about what could have been, I loved the way you lay them out in your poem - very moving.

      I send you positive thoughts, and hope that you will soon have success. Also...'sticky baby thoughts/vibes" also.

    • prettynutjob30 profile image
      Author

      Mary 4 years ago from From the land of Chocolate Chips,and all other things sweet.

      Thank you guys for commenting and jlpark, I am so sorry for your loss.

    • breakfastpop profile image

      breakfastpop 4 years ago

      I feel your pain. I know so many people who were about to stop trying who became pregnant. My thoughts are with you so keep the hope alive.

    • kidscrafts profile image

      kidscrafts 4 years ago from Ottawa, Canada

      Did you ever try homeopathy or accupuncture? Sometimes it can really help. But the first step is always to know if you and your husband are both able to conceive. I remember that's what my doctor said at the time... finally the doctor gave us 5% chance to have a baby.... and we finally had 2 :-)

    • prettynutjob30 profile image
      Author

      Mary 4 years ago from From the land of Chocolate Chips,and all other things sweet.

      Thank you for commenting breakfastpop and for your kind words. Kidscrafts I am the one who can't have children my hubby can, he has some from a previous relationship, I have PCOS and I have tried just about everything but the acupuncture but I am willing to try it if there is a chance it might work.

    • kidscrafts profile image

      kidscrafts 4 years ago from Ottawa, Canada

      Are you using milk product in your diet?

      May be you should read this : http://bit.ly/14XFF3d

      Try to find other sources as well about the dairy products and your condition.

      Good luck!

    • jlpark profile image

      Jacqui 4 years ago from New Zealand

      Prettynutjob - thanks. Hopefully you and your partner and myself and mine will be 'lucky' soon!

    • Deborah Brooks profile image

      Deborah Brooks Langford 4 years ago from Brownsville,TX

      Oh My.. I can feel your want for a child in every word .. You are in my prayers that you will be blessed soon.. I love your beautiful poem..

      Debbie

    • Gypsy Rose Lee profile image

      Gypsy Rose Lee 4 years ago from Riga, Latvia

      Voted up and beautiful. It's the longing and waiting that makes it all the more painful. Trust in the Lord and pray each day and your hopes will be fulfilled.

    • prettynutjob30 profile image
      Author

      Mary 4 years ago from From the land of Chocolate Chips,and all other things sweet.

      Thank you guys for commenting and jlpark much baby wishes sent your way as well.

    • btrbell profile image

      Randi Benlulu 4 years ago from Mesa, AZ

      I feel for you. This is a beautiful expression of sentiment. My oldest was conceived through IVF after 4 years of active trying. Praying for you! Thank you for sharing this.

    • prettynutjob30 profile image
      Author

      Mary 4 years ago from From the land of Chocolate Chips,and all other things sweet.

      Thank you for commenting btrbell, I am glad to hear you finally had some luck and thank you for the prayers.

    • tammyswallow profile image

      Tammy 4 years ago from North Carolina

      This is bittersweet and touching. I am sure this will speak volumes to women in your situation. I have a feeling you will be a great mom one day. ;)

    • prettynutjob30 profile image
      Author

      Mary 4 years ago from From the land of Chocolate Chips,and all other things sweet.

      Thank you for commenting tammy.

    • profile image

      Ausseye 4 years ago

      Hi JustPretty:

      The heart makes me wonder and the soul take its toll, but boy (or girl) you made me sad……you so deserve a baby moment with your wondering…..am hoping there are a few plus sighs in the future. Mind you a baby is not all its cracked up to be, sleepless nights, poo and goo goo goo whaaaa. So my empathy is with you experiencing those brutal moments because it makes you a better person. My hope is on your side and may the sperm be with you…….loved your lament and creative resolve.

    • prettynutjob30 profile image
      Author

      Mary 4 years ago from From the land of Chocolate Chips,and all other things sweet.

      Thank you for your kind words Ausseye.

    • rajan jolly profile image

      Rajan Singh Jolly 4 years ago from From Mumbai, presently in Jalandhar,INDIA.

      Just beautiful and I can understand these feelings. Our daughter was born after 3 1/2 years.

      Voted up and shared.

    • Rfordin profile image

      Rfordin 4 years ago from Florida

      Awesome poem.

      I suffered from infertility for 10 years. So I understand the heartache, the roller coaster, and the tears that accompany EVERY negative test.

      In 2007 I was blessed with the opportunity to adopt my beautiful baby girl Bianca (5) and shortly thereafter I became pregnant with Megan (now 4.5) .

      It WILL HAPPEN.

      Best wishes,

      ~Becky

    • prettynutjob30 profile image
      Author

      Mary 4 years ago from From the land of Chocolate Chips,and all other things sweet.

      Thank you guys so much for all your sweet comments.

    • Theater girl profile image

      Jennifer 4 years ago from New Jersey

      So brave to share such personal pain. I know too many people who suffer the same. Blessings to you on your path.

    • prettynutjob30 profile image
      Author

      Mary 4 years ago from From the land of Chocolate Chips,and all other things sweet.

      Thank you for your comment Theater girl.

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