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A Poisonous Clique : The Hen House Chronicles

Updated on October 18, 2013
Randy Godwin profile image

Randy Godwin is a true southern male who enjoys writing about the past in his part of the world. I hope you enjoy my Tales of the South.

Source

In Honor Of Our Izzy

Once again it is time to create another hub destined for a place some of us use to communicate without fear of moderation. At least, not as much interference from the oh-so-righteous anonymous entities laboring under their usual delusions of power by censorship. I forgive them though, they’ll eventually wake up to the reality of their puny judgments.

I don’t know exactly what this one will comprise until I finish it. Sometimes I merely write and see where it leads me. I know, lazy of me, but I’m not too inspired lately with all of the sob stories plastered across the forums. Apparently Paul is sticking to his vow not to discuss the embarrassing Related Search ads everyone is complaining about. I suppose there’s no secret why he avoids the subject..

This will be another creative attempt as I expect the comments to fulfill the bill if not the tale. I’ll throw in the usual polls, graphs, photos, etc. to hopefully pass the QRAP hoops, but no big deal if it doesn’t. Merely consider the source, and please take into consideration how sensitive I am. So without further ado, here the hell it is.

Source

All Good Mules Go To Heaven

“I spose he wanted tuh go a-trudging’ in de woods one mo’ time,” Uncle Jericho murmured softly. “I found ‘im layin’ dere daid ‘tween the wagon hafts, jest lak he wuz agoin’ someplace dis mawnin’. He wuz 40 yars old ya know, the best mule I ever knowed in all my born days.”

A lot of folks felt the same way about Abe, knew he was a noble beast, even if he was just a mule. Jericho wasn’t really my uncle, nor his wife Essie my aunt, but I was closer to them than to my white relatives in the area. Jericho and Essie had lived right down the road from us for over 30 years. Jericho had been in charge of my grandfather’s vast pine forests, had chipped the thousands of pine trees and dipped the resulting sap from each individual box.

Abe pulled the turpentine wagon through the myriad lanes crisscrossing the timberland while Jericho ambled from tree to tree, scraping the clear sap from each box. When his bucket got full he only had to walk a short distance to where Abe waited with the wagon bearing a lone turpentine barrel. The mule watched Jericho working the boxes and kept abreast with him without being spoken to. He knew his job well, needed no prompting to do it properly.

A Perfume Of Pine

I was only 10 years old the year Abe died. It was in 1959 and my father and I--we being Thomas and Patrick Brady--walked down the road to see if we could offer our condolences to the old black couple.

As we were approaching their old unpainted house, I thought back on my time spent with Jericho, Essie, and Abe, during my short time on earth. Aunt Essie had kept me many times when I was a child, had raised me as if I were her own. When I grew older, I would accompany Uncle Jericho and Abe on their rounds in the deep woods.

I was forbidden to help Jericho dip tar out of the boxes because it was impossible not to get it on your clothes, or anywhere else for that matter. Jericho’s clothes were coated with the substance, as was his old straw hat.

Aunt Essie had to boil his overalls in an old black pot to get the tar out of them. Even when Jericho wasn’t wearing his "tar dippin’" clothes he still smelled of pine. I’ll always think of him when the aroma of fresh pine wafts my way.

Source

A Sad And Gloomy Day

I learned a lot about mules from Uncle Jericho. “Mules is smarter dan hosses,” he expounded on the subject “dey’s better for working in de red clay we has down heah in Georgie too. Dey can hear better ‘n a person, especially if dey’s listnen’ for somebody dey knows.” I’d remember those words a long time after he said them, never forgot them, as a matter of fact.

I was surprised at the amount of people who had come to see Abe for the last time. There were both white and black folks who had come to pay their last respects to both Abe and his owner. On the way home my father told me why this was so.

“When I was a bit older than you are now Patrick," my father began "I was riding on the school bus--actually it was just an old truck converted to a bus to take kids to school--after a day of pouring rain had turned the roads into a virtual quagmire. The bus driver--old man Homer Perkins was his name--lost control of the vehicle and the rear end dropped into the creek, turning the old truck on its side.”

Source

The Nick Of Time

“There were over 20 children trapped inside of the old truck, with the angle such that none could escape easily. Uncle Jericho told me later on that he and Abe were waiting out the storm under a nearby tobacco barn shelter when suddenly, Abe pricked up his ears and started raising a fuss to go.”

“I knowed Abe heard somethin’ he wanted to go ‘vestigate right now.” Jericho said. “I unhitched him from de wagon an’ grabbed my ole log chain, jest in case dere was somebody stuck as usual when it rained lak dis. Sho nuff, I seed de old bus wit its rear end down in de crick.”

“Jericho and Abe showed up almost immediately after the accident ,” my father continued “Using the log chain, Jericho hitched Abe to it and pulled the bus back on its wheels, allowing the children to escape the flooded wreck. All but one person escaped without a scratch. “ At his point my father was silent for a bit as we continued on towards our house. I saw his eyes had filled with tears sometime during his telling of the story.

Acts Of Kindness

Finally he cleared his throat and finished the tale. “All of those people paying their respects to Jericho were either those who were on the bus that day, or had loved ones saved by Jericho and old Abe. The only child lost that day was Jericho and Essie’s little boy Eddie.

This was because old man Perkins always made him ride in the back of the bus by himself. He wouldn’t allow me to sit back there with him as I wanted to. I never forgave that man, never will.”

Years later after my father told me that sad story I remembered what Jericho had said about Abe’s hearing ability. It was little Eddie he’d heard screaming that horrible day. Eddie had loved the old mule, had been raised around him all his young life.

No wonder Abe was so insistent in going to his rescue. I also understood why I’d been kept by Uncle Jericho and Essie so often. It was my father’s way of thanking the old black couple for their loss. I wish I’d known that then.

The Requisite Poll

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    • Randy Godwin profile image
      Author

      Randy Godwin 22 months ago from Southern Georgia

      Hey John, I had to go to this hub to see which tale you were referring to because I cannot remember which story is on which Poisonous Ones hub. LOL! Thanks for your nice comments re this tale and believe me, I enjoyed writing this one. Some yarns seem to write themselves......

    • Jodah profile image

      John Hansen 22 months ago from Queensland Australia

      I know this is two years old Randy but is a timeless story so who cares. Quite a touching tale. A great read. I may have read it before, can't remember...but with over 1600 comments I wasn't going looking for one of mine.

    • Randy Godwin profile image
      Author

      Randy Godwin 2 years ago from Southern Georgia

      Thanks for the nice words, Paula. I wrote this one on the spur of the moment but it's one of my favorite Flash Fiction attempts. I just realized it would qualify as such a few moments ago. :)

      I appreciate your time reading my musings, as always.

    • fpherj48 profile image

      Paula 2 years ago from Beautiful Upstate New York

      Damn !!! You can WRITE!

      First time in my life I felt I could cry over a mule.

    • Randy Godwin profile image
      Author

      Randy Godwin 3 years ago from Southern Georgia

      Thank you for braving all of the comments to give your input, Sherry. I appreciate your time reading this indeed sad tale. :)

    • Sherry Hewins profile image

      Sherry Hewins 3 years ago from Sierra Foothills, CA

      Aw.. so sad. A moving story.

    • profile image

      eppie 3 years ago

      Wow, just passing through and board randy, lol. What a difference that 3 months can make. OH my!. Can you email me the link to that private forum? My email is on my blog.

    • Writer Fox profile image

      Writer Fox 4 years ago from the wadi near the little river

      OK Randy, that makes sense. AAlite: If you have a suggestion, let me know.

    • Randy Godwin profile image
      Author

      Randy Godwin 4 years ago from Southern Georgia

      No WF, I am interviewing another hubber, not being interviewed again.

    • aa lite profile image

      aa lite 4 years ago from London

      WF, interview a hubber you think is interesting, who hasn't been interviewed before. Christy will give you a link to all the interviews so you can check whose been done before. And actually you don't have to pick anybody, if you don't feel like it.

    • aa lite profile image

      aa lite 4 years ago from London

      Really I can't be bothered with guessing whose "alter ego" is who. However, I very much doubt that Epso's sock puppet was in fact who you think it was. Far more likely that he looked in the register himself, and picked a name from there, hoping that somebody would look it up after his hub, and be impressed.

      I mean I just can't imagine a person who's registered as that kind of offender using their real name online.

      Do you think Allegra's comment might be a "personal attack"? On the other hand, since it is attacking a hubber who doesn't exist anymore, perhaps it is safe to leave it.

    • Writer Fox profile image

      Writer Fox 4 years ago from the wadi near the little river

      Ok, thanks! So, if I do the interview, then I have to choose someone. Who should I interview?

    • aa lite profile image

      aa lite 4 years ago from London

      Yep, WF, they do have to approve your choice of interviewee and the interview itself. However, they approved Randy, and all his answers. I am guessing that if Randy shared some of his theories about HP staff being thieves it would not have been approved, however. Really you can't blame them.

      However, they allowed his "pox on Helium", so the answers don't have to be sterile repetitions of "the community here is the greatest!".

    • Writer Fox profile image

      Writer Fox 4 years ago from the wadi near the little river

      I thought you were just interviewed by aalite. Are they really going to let you have two interviews in the newsletter?

    • Randy Godwin profile image
      Author

      Randy Godwin 4 years ago from Southern Georgia

      As much as possible, although I had easy questions when I was interviewed.

    • Writer Fox profile image

      Writer Fox 4 years ago from the wadi near the little river

      Were you candid?

    • Randy Godwin profile image
      Author

      Randy Godwin 4 years ago from Southern Georgia

      I'll find out soon, as my interview with Alastar Packer will go to Christy in a day or so.

    • Writer Fox profile image

      Writer Fox 4 years ago from the wadi near the little river

      Sounds a lot like Epsonok0 to me. But, since I have your private attention here, davidlivermore wants to interview me for the HP newsletter. Is it true that HP has to approve the questions and answers?

    • Randy Godwin profile image
      Author

      Randy Godwin 4 years ago from Southern Georgia

      I really don't know, WF. I'm hoping he/she is a kindred spirit, but you never know....

    • Writer Fox profile image

      Writer Fox 4 years ago from the wadi near the little river

      And, who is Allegra?

    • Randy Godwin profile image
      Author

      Randy Godwin 4 years ago from Southern Georgia

      Yes, it is a small price to pay, Allegra. I'd take that every time just to get rid of the jerks.

    • profile image

      Allegra 4 years ago

      Mr psychotic episodok0 said everyone's accounts would be deleted for exposing his other activities, shouldn't you all be ghosts? Getting unpublished is a small price to pay for making a --- --------- delete his accounts and leave everyone alone ;)

      I had a hub unpublished because one commenter posted a link to another commenter's youtube channel and some racist rants he recorded. For some reason HP calls that a personal attack when you research another user's activities outside HP. But being a racist is ok. What do you expect from ultra-conservative ReligionPages.

    • Randy Godwin profile image
      Author

      Randy Godwin 4 years ago from Southern Georgia

      Glad to help, LTM. It's not often I actually know anything. :)

    • LongTimeMother profile image

      LongTimeMother 4 years ago from Australia

      Thanks Randy. Done. I looked last night and only saw the notice that I could moderate comments from outside edit. Didn't press the edit capsule button until your comment now. Thank you.

    • Randy Godwin profile image
      Author

      Randy Godwin 4 years ago from Southern Georgia

      LTM--Go in edit mode and set the comment capsule to not show them until you approve them.

    • Randy Godwin profile image
      Author

      Randy Godwin 4 years ago from Southern Georgia

      I removed a few extra comments just in case they were considered personal attacks by HP mods. Just trying to be safe. It's resubmitted for publication now so it shouldn't be down long.

    • LongTimeMother profile image

      LongTimeMother 4 years ago from Australia

      Good morning my time. :) I wake to more of JB. Thanks for your response Randy. I'll be deleting them again.

      Did anyone happen to answer my question about how to block comments instantly on a single hub while I was sleeping and before the other hub was removed? Would you mind telling me again please?

    • aa lite profile image

      aa lite 4 years ago from London

      That's good! I wonder which particular personal attack it was?

      And WF, we do actually have a forum, which has private sections, but it is so much easier to use this hub. It is really only there if anybody has problems they would like to share, but not potentially with the whole world, and in case this gets closed down. What is nice about this place, is anybody can pop in and join the conversation. Plus we usually have HP open and are logged in, anyway.

    • HollieT profile image

      HollieT 4 years ago from Manchester, United Kingdom

      Good news! We're back in business :)

    • paradigmsearch profile image

      Person of Interest 4 years ago from SoCal, USA

      One of PF's hubs also disappeared.

    • Randy Godwin profile image
      Author

      Randy Godwin 4 years ago from Southern Georgia

      According to email from HP I'll have to remove the personal attack against the now departed epson by PF and resubmit for publication. No problem guys!

    • Randy Godwin profile image
      Author

      Randy Godwin 4 years ago from Southern Georgia

      Just got back in guys and found the new hub unpublished because it "needs revision.' I suppose I'll have to remove a few poisonous comments to get it active again. No big deal! :)

    • HollieT profile image

      HollieT 4 years ago from Manchester, United Kingdom

      Well the vindictive little so and so! Randy will keep us posted no doubt!

    • Writer Fox profile image

      Writer Fox 4 years ago from the wadi near the little river

      I'll mention this once more: would you be interested in a private forum that would not be visible to search engines or HP staff?

    • aa lite profile image

      aa lite 4 years ago from London

      Damn! You are right. Damn looks like peso got Randy shut down! Maybe it was all the discussions of the register? Maybe HP finally got annoyed with all the commenting we were doing. ThCouldn't have been Arafat. There are always alternatives.

    • EmpressFelicity profile image

      EmpressFelicity 4 years ago from Kent, England, UK

      Yeah, what happened?

    • Writer Fox profile image

      Writer Fox 4 years ago from the wadi near the little river

      Was it something I said? The new Hub just vanished!

    • aa lite profile image

      aa lite 4 years ago from London

      Cool Hollie, will check it out.

    • HollieT profile image

      HollieT 4 years ago from Manchester, United Kingdom

      aalite, go to this link http://www.ononesoftware.com/products/perfect-effe...

      and obtain free software with HDR effects. I've got it, awesome. Been learning about it on Thomas's course!

    • aa lite profile image

      aa lite 4 years ago from London

      She's been banned from HubPages, I guess hotling was something bad.......Interesting technique used by Beth to draw attention to her.

    • aa lite profile image

      aa lite 4 years ago from London

      No idea Izzy, I was hoping you could shed some light on this. We should probably move to the new hub, I guess all the "normal" people have finished with it now.

    • IzzyM profile image

      IzzyM 4 years ago from UK

      Any idea what a 'hotling' is? That would have been one of my questions.

    • aa lite profile image

      aa lite 4 years ago from London

      Got it now. But hey loving one's passion is always important. Then there is the hotling.

      So embarrassing just went to a small shop to have some stuff printed and scanned, then realised I didn't take my wallet. I did have some coins on me, but was £3 short. The guy was very nice about it (probably because he charges crazy prices for this and is making a huge profit anyway!). I must go again tomorrow and give him the rest though.

    • IzzyM profile image

      IzzyM 4 years ago from UK

      @aalite, look for anything by NellyShiner (not exact name). I see someone pointed out to her to change her profile too. She had a London address listed which was actually a 5 star hotel near B Palace.

    • aa lite profile image

      aa lite 4 years ago from London

      Just checked it out, Randy. Very nice. And I love the picture of us!

    • Randy Godwin profile image
      Author

      Randy Godwin 4 years ago from Southern Georgia

      @aa- check out the new hub. It should load a lot faster.

    • aa lite profile image

      aa lite 4 years ago from London

      Spent ages on the forums but can't find any sitting on hands inducing activities.

    • aa lite profile image

      aa lite 4 years ago from London

      No, going to check the forum now

    • IzzyM profile image

      IzzyM 4 years ago from UK

      Anyone else sitting on their hands when someone on the forums is going on about pitchers and batter?

    • WriteAngled profile image

      WriteAngled 4 years ago from Abertawe, Cymru

      I started at lower rates too. Just be aware that you will find it very difficult to raise rates with existing clients!

    • aa lite profile image

      aa lite 4 years ago from London

      Thanks WA, yes I do realise that fuzzies etc. apply to CAT translations (except when they are Randy's fuzzy navels). Which is why I found the whole form very difficult to fill. It's not like I said I would be using software. They said, fill this form, and the form asks about these things.

      That's interesting about outsourcing as a freelancer. Not something I was thinking of doing. That doesn't really sound like what the last bit of the form is about. It sounds as if I was running my own agency.

      I've emailed the chappie who contacted me, because in his email he just said upload a signed agreement, your CV and diplomas and we can take it from here.

      I don't think it is unreasonable for me to make my rates a bit lower than yours as you have all these years of experience. Anyway from what I've read, what you tell them isn't really v. important, they will contact you with really low offers, and some people had some luck negotiating much better rates.

    • WriteAngled profile image

      WriteAngled 4 years ago from Abertawe, Cymru

      Whoah, Aa!

      I assume you are aware this is for work done using CAT software. In the vast majority of cases, you would need to use such software for a job where this pricing applies, because the agency would want the work supplied in a format they could use to update their TM and/or they would be supplying you with a TM.

      I use the rates originally suggested by Trados:

      A. 100% match/repetitions: 30% of my usual rate (because a 100% match could be incorrect in a different context, and because a 100% match to a TM supplied by the client could actually be total nonsense, you need to check all 100% matches and correct them if necessary)

      B. 85-99% fuzzies: 60% of usual rate

      C. Below 85% fuzzy match: 100% of usual rate (because at this level fuzzy matching becomes a load of guesswork and is rarely relevant!)

      My regular rate in US dollars is 12 cents, which is round about the mode for specialist PL-EN translation on Proz, as far as I can make out.

      The other section: state you are a sole freelance translator . Outsourcing: some people form themselves into groups and bid for jobs as a group. Others take everything offered to them as individuals and place job offers on Proz for anything they cannot/do not want to do. They hope to find someone offering rock bottom rates. With luck, they will get back a semi-decent translation that they can edit rapidly and still make a profit on the deal.

      Most agencies ban outsourcing in their contracts with translators. Proving it is another matter. I assume someone could set up a second profile on Proz and use it to advertise jobs without giving sufficient detail for the source agency to recognise what is going on.

      Personally, I do not want to be responsible for someone else's work and thus would not dream of outsourcing!

    • aa lite profile image

      aa lite 4 years ago from London

      Film them hitting your dog and then use the evidence to make their lives very difficult, Izzy!

      Thanks for all the info. WA. That bloody form is killing me! In one of the sections they want me to state my rates for exact and fuzzy matches blah blah blah.

      I've googled to find out that a lot of agencies like 25% for exact and 50% for fuzzy, so I guess the rates that they suggest of 2cents and 4 cents are not that far off (if I take standard as 10 cents). But not having any software makes me feel like a bit of a fake.

      Then there is another section that seems to be suitable for other agencies (asking about number of employees, outsourcing etc. etc., totally not relevant if you are just one person). I might actually email the person who contacted me and ask how to deal with it.

      Why make it all so complicated?

    • Lady Guinevere profile image

      Debra Allen 4 years ago from West By God

      Go get them! I hate abusers of any kind. Hopefully they will get charged some jail time and lose their house. Is there a fire ordinance in your area?

    • IzzyM profile image

      IzzyM 4 years ago from UK

      Yes animal abuse is against the law here too. A camera (or two) is my best witness. I'm waiting on the car cam arriving and when it does I am going to connect it to the battery so that it rolls all the time. I am also going to buy a solar car battery trickle charger, so that the car cam doesn't drain the battery (I don't get out much to keep it charged up). I'm also looking at these IP security cameras that are wireless and send video directly to a smartphone or ipad. Only thing is, they seem to light up at night if they are recording, and I don't really need night recording at all as everything happens during the day. I was looking at pet cams, but all the ones on Amazon seem to be totally useless which is a shame because all I need recorded happens where the dog is, which might not be in line of sight of a camera.

      You would think they could have some sympathy for my position. Selfish people. If she ever lights a wet bonfire again, I will be taking the hose to it and put it out, right in front of her. Her behaviour is upsetting Mum too. She is very fond of the dog, even if she does think there are 3 dogs and not just one.

    • Lady Guinevere profile image

      Debra Allen 4 years ago from West By God

      Oh IzzyM, you get them animal abusers and you take them to court for animal abuse. Write down times and what happened because your neighbors are going to let it roll off their nasty backs. Take lots of pictures. You get them and you get them good. I don't know what it is like in your country but in ours they get jail time and a hefty fine.

    • IzzyM profile image

      IzzyM 4 years ago from UK

      Things with my neighbours have deteriorated. They have been hitting Keil; I can tell by his reaction to them. Yesterday he came in (he was only out for 10 minutes) covered in a smelly slime all over his neck area (although the rest of him was fine and dry) and when I looked, there was evidence of a scuffle on the pebbled driveway, with fresh paw prints. I am going to install spy cameras to catch the Bs! They said they are selling up and moving away. Good riddance! Yet today they are fencing off part of their garden with bamboo sticks and pea/bean netting. Are they thick or what? A breeze will take that down, never mind the dog! They had a very smoky bonfire the other night, and one of my hens is now very ill - probably smoke inhalation damage. As they hates cats even more than dogs, I am thinking of re-homing a few from the local cat rescue. I love cats, so why not? My Mum has deteriorated. We really don't need this hassle, especially from so-called Christians who spend most of their time at church. I did tell her she should take a leaf from God, because he loves all creatures, great and small, and she could learn a lesson or two from Him. She wasn't amused.

      I am very angry. They have no right to teach my puppy fear, nor to wilfully damage or kill the hens. The poor thing is coughing and breathing out bubbles, as well as not eating and drinking. Keil's hackles rise every time he sees them, and he shies away. they have also taken to stomping when they move about their house and the noise reverbates through ours. That starts the dog off barking, not surprisingly. This all over a puppy dog who sometimes runs into their part of the garden.

    • WriteAngled profile image

      WriteAngled 4 years ago from Abertawe, Cymru

      Problem is, most agencies want Trados. As a result, I used it for years, but really dislike it as well as SDL's attitude and policies. I also had Wordfast, but only the version that works as a template in Word, and used that whenever possible.

      Last year, I moved to MemoQ, which can now be used with most Trados files. I much prefer it to the others. I notice that some agencies are choosing it as their preferred CAT tool now. Actually, I started with it because one agency wanted me to use it in conjunction with their server, which meant that the job was done under their licence. By the end of that job, I was convinced enough to buy my own copy!

      There is a free, web-based Wordfast: http://www.wordfast.com/products_wordfast_anywhere...

      You would need to have TMs sent to you in compatible form for uploading and would not be able to produce bilingual Word files, which some agencies still want. However, it can be useful at times, and is also a good place to practice using CAT software.

      There are numerous other programs, and some companies have their own to use via their servers. I turn down such jobs as I am too lazy to bother with learning how to use something that is only used by one client.

      As for the free trial, 500 TU is not much! TUs are mostly one sentence or even less.

    • aa lite profile image

      aa lite 4 years ago from London

      WA possibly because you already came to them an experienced translator. Or it might be that worked for them before they introduced the hoops, and once you were in the system, you didn't have to do it.

      I mean the hoops are a pain, but they are not exactly an insurmountable problem. It's not like I'm actually doing much that is productive with my time right now.

      Just finished reading a huge discussion about them on linkedin. Some people liked them, some didn't. There does seem to be a walmart mentality and pushing down rates, but they are not downright bad.

      I do dislike excel and have not used it much. Form FLDS is in excel!

      They seem to particularly like wordfast, which has a free trial for up to 500 "translation units". I remember you saying you tried something and liked it a lot better than what you had been using a while back. Any opinion on WF?

    • aa lite profile image

      aa lite 4 years ago from London

      Actually lots of information about them if you google, which I've done. Some people happy, some not happy. Apparently huge pressure put on people who actually work there as employees, which doesn't concern me so much I guess.

    • WriteAngled profile image

      WriteAngled 4 years ago from Abertawe, Cymru

      I did a big job for them last November, invoiced at more than $2000. No problems with payments. I think I've done other bits and pieces for them over the years, and just turned down a job tonight (I will put up with a lot, but NOT with translating stuff laid out in an Excel spreadsheet). I've never had to jump through the hoops you describe to get jobs from them.

    • aa lite profile image

      aa lite 4 years ago from London

      I did indeed use your name in vein.

      Nope the agency is bad fatty acids (the word that makes them increase risk of coronary disease) doskonale.

      Really should do this thru FB, then we wouldn't have to be so cryptic.

    • WriteAngled profile image

      WriteAngled 4 years ago from Abertawe, Cymru

      Did you mention my name to her? It's just that I've been working with her for over 10 years, so maybe she would recognise the fact. I have had very little from there recently. It's possible she is changing direction or maybe getting less clients than before.

      Never heard of any FLDS. I sign confidentiality agreements but that is all.

      If the agency is wielkie slowo (add a dash on the second l and translate into English), they are not nice people. I did some work for them, but would not touch them with a bargepole now. Also "lew most" (translate into English again and join together) is pretty grotty. I do, however, understand you need to start somewhere.

    • aa lite profile image

      aa lite 4 years ago from London

      WA, that would definitely be my preferred way of getting a job. However, so far there haven't been exactly many takers (or any). I did email that person you advised me, sent her samples and everything. She couldn't even be bothered to email to tell me to f-off.

      So, I might jump through these hoops, as long as I get over my immense procrastination bout. It might not be ideal, but if I could get some work through them, I would always then have "experience", which should make it easier to get other work.

      I was wondering whether you ever had to fill a FLDS (fundamentalist church of latter day saints according to Google) form. I reckon this is the one that's gonna give me a the most trouble.

    • WriteAngled profile image

      WriteAngled 4 years ago from Abertawe, Cymru

      Aa, since I got back into translation in 2001, I have NEVER had to complete training modules with any agency.

      I have also never submitted copies of my degree certificates. I'm not even sure, after so many moves, that I still have them.

      As for test pieces, I refuse to do them unless the agency pays for them (the best agencies do pay). I do find new clients will often just give me small jobs to begin with, say 350-1000 words. Then as their confidence in me grows, they start to throw in bigger ones. Nowadays, I get a mixture of little jobs 350-5000 words and jobs of 10,000, 20,000 or more words.

    • Mark Ewbie profile image

      Mark Ewbie 4 years ago from Euroland

      Go on then Saintly One - good luck :)

    • aa lite profile image

      aa lite 4 years ago from London

      Yep, actually they do allow you to just sign an affidavit that you have these diplomas if you can't find them.

      However, there is this other form. I googled its name, and all it gives me is Fundamentalist Church of Latter Day Saints. I think there have been some wires crossed. I am going to have to be a bit creative with that, so I should be as transparent and truthful as I can be elsewhere.

      To lie successfully it is advisable to tell the truth as much as possible.

    • Mark Ewbie profile image

      Mark Ewbie 4 years ago from Euroland

      Make some diplomas - shouldn't be too hard.

    • aa lite profile image

      aa lite 4 years ago from London

      OMG these translation companies do need a hell of a lot of stuff, before they actually send you anything to translate. They want me to upload my "diplomas", I hope these the honest to god completely useless pieces of paper I got in my youf from Uni is what they mean. Not entirely sure where they are but, I remember coming across them recently in some big box I threw lots of paper in a few years ago.

      Then they are going to "test" me, then they are going to make me complete training modules.

      I so hate form filling! I am feeling major dose of procrastination coming on. Arrrggggh!

    • IzzyM profile image

      IzzyM 4 years ago from UK

      Well, for the minute I am prepared to believe that it was purely an unfortunate accident whereby the 40% chancer got the advantage.

      I hope that link stays live for eternity because at the end the day, the proof is n the pudding, so to speak. Should HP always have the higher value sales, then doubt sets in.

    • PoeticFailosophy profile image

      Diana F. King-Fyre :: DECEASED, 1962-2014, Rest in Peace 4 years ago from Cuzco, Peroo

      it has the whiff of the black-hat method known as cookie-stuffing. it's primarily intended to cheat the merchant that offers the affiliate program, but if HP engages in it, it also cheats authors because HP's stuffed cookie will override your own aff code. unfortunately it would be difficult from our end to *prove* if that's the case. however, a poison pen letter to the merchant...

      dear Amazon affiliate manager, i have reason to believe this website called Hubpages is stuffing it's affiliate tracker code in my browser...

      and then the merchant checks the numbers and sees that something is indeed fishy.

    • IzzyM profile image

      IzzyM 4 years ago from UK

      If it doesn't show in your account, then that magic higher value sale happened during HP's time.

      On my own, the only sales I got this month were for 5 cheapy jewelry stuff, apart from the one value sale that must have happened in HP's time.

      Oh and btw, Randy, it would seem that eBay only changed things in October, before that your got SWA for your sales. NOW you can earn commission.

    • aa lite profile image

      aa lite 4 years ago from London

      OMG thanks for that link Izzy. I used to check but I ever only sold 1 item for a revenue of $1. Well now I've checked it again, and I've sold something off my bitcoin mining hub. For a revenue of $24!

      So what is this "revenue". Is it mine? HubPages? It says "Please also note that the data below are on all impressions on this Hub, including both your share (60%), and ours". How do you know that the higher sales items happen during their share?

    • Randy Godwin profile image
      Author

      Randy Godwin 4 years ago from Southern Georgia

      Ive sold thousands of dollars of ebay products and as far as I know I've never received a dime in commissions. I've removed most of the capsules but still make a sale occasionally. Someone gets the dough I bet!!

    • IzzyM profile image

      IzzyM 4 years ago from UK

      For those of you who (like me) do not read the forums on a regular basis, here is the link to your ebay earnings (which apparently include HP's share). I am pissed off to read that the higher sales items happen during their share.

      https://hubpages.com/my/earnings/ebay

      To those that do not know, it would seems that ebay is now working on a similar basis to Amazon where you get a share of the revenue of sales, instead of just clicks.

    • Randy Godwin profile image
      Author

      Randy Godwin 4 years ago from Southern Georgia

      Okay guys, I can see were the comments were a little much and i don't want trouble with HP. I removed a few suggestive comments just in case. We've already read them anyway. Sorry PF! :)

    • Lady Guinevere profile image

      Debra Allen 4 years ago from West By God

      Just a question about Wizzley...How do you know how much money we are making there? There is no earnings button or category. I am getting views but I don't know if they are making money or not.

    • IzzyM profile image

      IzzyM 4 years ago from UK

      Talking of Sea Monkeys, I got them for my kids 20 odd years ago. I was more excited than the kids! Can't remember much about the outcome, except to say I was sadly disillusioned. Total waste of time and effort, Clever marketing.

      @WF, thanks for the Gmail tip. It'll come in handy if I ever decide that 12 subdomains aren't enough. I've forgotten most of the email addys associated with said accounts. All gmail.

      @WA, I now have three EC hubs on my main account, and all but the substandard hubs are featured now (and traffic is picking up). I wondered why some of my other accounts with no EC's were still troubled by the unfeatured status.

      If you write hubs of at least 1000 words, and include your own photos and polls and maps and all that jazz, they should be featured, right?

      My sharks sub was doing OK until they decided to make most of them EC. They pass the word count requirement, but the photos are all stolen (if attributed). When am I ever going to come face-to-face with a shark LOL. "Smile while I take your photo!"

      I understand they have devised software to determine which hubs should be featured, but it really needs further tweaking.

      By the way, I agree with EF wholeheartedly. There are some fairly recent comments here where someone is more or less accused of being a pedo. Not those words exactly, but the suggestion is there. I strongly suggest you delete any comment that points the reader towards the person. It's a legal thing.

    • HollieT profile image

      HollieT 4 years ago from Manchester, United Kingdom

      @EF, only just read all the comments here. I bought my son some sea monkeys years ago, I mean, he must have been 7 or 8. I honestly can't remember how long we had them for or whether we changed the water (but I'm convinced that we must have) Anyway, I've asked my son and he said that we had them for ages ( but a few weeks seems like ages in a child's mind. Lol!) and that we didn't change the water because we weren't supposed to. He's sure of this, I just can't remember.

    • HollieT profile image

      HollieT 4 years ago from Manchester, United Kingdom

      Thanks WA, I read your comment this am, and completely agreed that turquoise would really compliment the colour. Couldn't upload the background because my dropbox is full. Anyway, went off on a tangent and abandoned background because I was thinking turquoise and just couldn't find the right floral image. Created a completely new wedding design that started life as turquoise but became teal- I'm quite pleased with it! From there, the floral image that I used became a different colour in a different design and I have made approx. 150 products in my main store with it. So, thank you! I went from stuck to turquoise and created lots and lots :) I'm exhausted!

      aa, this is the perfect time for the new sub. You should be receiving a nice flow of traffic when it really counts. And those Geckos, where do they think they are? Lol!

    • Lady Guinevere profile image

      Debra Allen 4 years ago from West By God

      No problem. It must be football season!!! LOL

    • Randy Godwin profile image
      Author

      Randy Godwin 4 years ago from Southern Georgia

      I've had too many irons in the fire this weekend, LG, and then my computer screwed up on top of it all. Trying to catch up now. Will check back in when my company leaves. Later on! :)

    • Lady Guinevere profile image

      Debra Allen 4 years ago from West By God

      Lol. I was wondering where you were. It's kind of like a ghost town around here....on HP that is.

    • Randy Godwin profile image
      Author

      Randy Godwin 4 years ago from Southern Georgia

      Hey everyone! My computer has been down for the last 2 days and I am delinquent on the new hub. I'll try and finish it before tomorrow. Please, no poisonous comments about me. You know how sensitive I am. :P

    • aa lite profile image

      aa lite 4 years ago from London

      That's interesting WA. I was struck by how vague Paul E's explanation was in the forums.

      I see that the peak in traffic on Thursday was very shortlived according to quantcast. Although yesterday's was almost 10% higher than that of previous saturday's this month.

      This whole thing makes me so tired. Google is an idiot!

    • WriteAngled profile image

      WriteAngled 4 years ago from Abertawe, Cymru

      I think the refeaturing only applies if you have EC hubs in your account. I had an unfeatured hub refeatured on my main account, which has 2 EC. Another account has no EC and a hub is languishing in idled mode there.

    • aa lite profile image

      aa lite 4 years ago from London

      Thanks WF, I've actually opened the second account with my gmail, this one isn't. But if I decide to have more subdomains, I will remember this.

    • Writer Fox profile image

      Writer Fox 4 years ago from the wadi near the little river

      About using a different email for a second account: Robin E. posted this a few weeks ago on the forum:

      . If you are using gmail, you can use the same email address except you add a "+1" to the end of your name, e.g., robin@gmail.com would be robin+1@gmail.com. Both emails will be directed to robin@gmail.com. I'm not sure if this is the case with other email clients, but you could research it and see.

    • aa lite profile image

      aa lite 4 years ago from London

      Just saw my klemmeri geckos having a shag. Completely shameless! Strange because its quite cold here.

      So what do you guys think about the featuring of the unfeatured? It sort of sounds like they forgiven them for "low engagement" but they haven't quite come out and said it for some reason.

    • aa lite profile image

      aa lite 4 years ago from London

      Thanks Izzy, I'm gonna try to target Christmas gift buyers, and see whether the new subdomain boost helps.

    • Lady Guinevere profile image

      Debra Allen 4 years ago from West By God

      @gmwilliams, it is not just the forums they be doing that. It is the hubs too. I was denied a hub 3 times because it talked of how children become violent. It was denied because the words child and violence, not that it was children who do violent acts on other children, in the same article. Go figure! These things cannot be swept under the rug like this. So I put it on Bubblews. For anyone who wishes to read it this is the link: http://www.bubblews.com/news/924624-this-is-what-i...

    • IzzyM profile image

      IzzyM 4 years ago from UK

      You got it right. You need a new email addy for each account, but the same Adsense ID obviously, and same Paypal address if you sign up to HPads. You can make a new Amazon ID to track sales, else use the same one if tracking is not that important.

    • aa lite profile image

      aa lite 4 years ago from London

      For you guys with multiple subdomains, how do you go about making one. I just signed up to HP from scratch, but had to use a different email addy. Is this how it is done, or is that violating ToS in some way?

      Obviously I'm gonna have to put in the same adsense number etc. Although I guess I should get a different Amazon so I can track things better.

    • aa lite profile image

      aa lite 4 years ago from London

      &Mark Zazzle is a lot of fun. However, it gets frustrating when nobody buys anything. But they usually do. December was nice for me last year. I probably had around 1000 products (but one design makes lots of products), and I sold many cases.

      Make sure you change your markup from the default which is now 5%. I think 14% is best, if higher than 15% I think they might charge you or something.

      My feeling about Zazzle right now, is that general phone cases etc. are good for Christmas. To make regular money outside that period you have to target specific occasions, weddings, birthday, easter, valentine's day etc. P'raps you can make some anti-valentine's cards?

    • aa lite profile image

      aa lite 4 years ago from London

      Ahh you got them! Doesn't the kit come with instructions? But my impression is that it is not an ongoing project!

    • Mark Ewbie profile image

      Mark Ewbie 4 years ago from Euroland

      I just want to say I love playing with Zazzle. It seems more fun than CafePress. Maybe I was just ready to have another go at the product idea. Instead of being pleased with my own pictures - now I'm trying to think if anyone would actually buy the product. That means sizing, choosing the right product, etc.

      Sorry about crossing conversations but I guess we can all cope.

    • EmpressFelicity profile image

      EmpressFelicity 4 years ago from Kent, England, UK

      Not considering them as a gift - I was given them as one! I was wondering about the water myself. If they live longer than a couple of weeks, I can't imagine that you'd be able to get away with not changing it.

    • aa lite profile image

      aa lite 4 years ago from London

      EF: sea monkeys are basically brine shrimp. I used to feed brine shrimp to my fish (but I never cultured them, I just bought them in a shop and dumped them in the aquarium).

      Are you considering them as a gift for a kid? I don't really think they ever took off in a big way. The things are tiny, and really not that interesting to look at. Not sure about lifespan, but I would imagine not very long, tiny things usually don't live for long.

      I think the big attraction of sea monkeys was that the eggs could be dessicated and there was some trick that made it seem that the shrimps appeared as soon as you added powder in, then it went downhill from there.

      I'm not sure about breeding. On the one hand, they were raised as fish food, so they have to be easy to breed and maintain. On the other hand, I imagine the water would go foul even with something that small, so I think they are easy to breed, but probably not with the kit provided for them. Why not get a betta fish instead?

    • gmwilliams profile image

      Grace Marguerite Williams 4 years ago from the Greatest City In The World-New York City, New York

      @Lady Guinevere, I read this also on the moderators. No wonder they treat the forums as their personal elementary school. If one indulges in heated or more contentious verbiage in the forums, he/she is..........BANNED. Come on now, we are adults yet are treated as children in the forums. This is NOT the real world. In the adult world, people indulge in intense verbiage all the time-that is par for the course. We NEED mods who have experienced the ADULT world.

    • EmpressFelicity profile image

      EmpressFelicity 4 years ago from Kent, England, UK

      Erm... I'd be careful of accusing someone of paedophilia unless you have some real evidence to back it up. Also bear in mind that this is Randy's hub and he's responsible for the content thereof.

      To change the subject - aa or anyone else: do you have any experience of something called Sea Monkeys? Small sea creatures in suspended animation, which come alive when placed in water. For example, how long do they live and do they reproduce?