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A Pun in the Oven

Updated on January 9, 2016
Harry Higinbotham profile image

Much like other people, HMH was born. He grew up in a place, did things, went places, & wrote some stuff. He hopes you like said stuff.

Proceed With Caution!

You've Been Warned!
You've Been Warned! | Source

Porcine Baseball Origins

Let's Start at the Pig Inning

Once a pun a thyme, a young lad with visions of sugar plums (not really- more like Mom's homemade macadamia nut fudge) dancing merrily in his little noggin, thought how pun it wood bee two right nonsense verse.

Having been taught to love words and word play by his father and older brother, he boldly set forth on a path to... obscurity. This was due to the fact that he only ever wrote anything for his family. Although he relished (pickles were a common theme in his poems) the praise, as he got older he realized that in this great big wonderful world of weirdos there surely must be at least a few oddballs and nut jobs out there who would appreciate what he called his "senseless of humor".

I can only hope they know about HubPages.

The Ancient Mayan Calendar

Source

A Poem for the End of the World That Didn't Happen

So here's an example of my work. My brother often commissions me to write poems for his weird family celebrations and this was written for his family's 12.21.12 party. As you will recall, the supposed end of the Mayan calendar was 12.21.12 & the world was supposed to end. Unless I really missed something, it didn't.

Oh Maya! The End Has come!!

The end of the world hath cometh nigh,

So kiss the dear old Earth goodbye!

The Mayans said today's the day

That everything will go away.

Twelve Twenty-one twelve, a fateful Date!

The party's on, so don't be late!

The end of days has come at last

Foretold by Hopis of the past.

I Hopi that they're wrong though, guys

And there's no Mayan doom surprise,

'Cause that'd mean no Christmas day

(Although there'd be no bills to pay...)

So if you have no rocket ship

With which the dying Earth to slip

Then celebrate with kith & kin

The awful pickle we're all in.

Speaking of pickles, now would be

The perfect time for two or three.

So cast them in thine big ol' mouth

While watching the light of the Sun burn outh.

© 2015 Harry Higinbotham

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