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A Rat Race

Updated on February 5, 2015

Death was standing by the window,

looking down where the street lights

flickered across the night sky,

it was indeed a rat race,

pace after slow steady pace,

deceit had been standardized,

some crimes made sense,

this one was bizarre, cloudy, dense,

it was a horrifying attack,

two young boys shot in the back,

a small, waver sound of protest

passed his lips,

the boys were belly down,

on the ground,

and over size belts wrapped their hips,

death was curious in a morbid way,

with nothing to say,

he glared at the coagulated red pool,

he could have been two thousand yards away,

it wouldn't have mattered,

death was there to stay,

only in a rat race,

is where death and life can meet

face to face.




© 2014 Frank Atanacio

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    • Frank Atanacio profile image
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      Frank Atanacio 2 years ago from Shelton

      thanks pegcole for stopping by

    • PegCole17 profile image

      Peg Cole 2 years ago from Dallas, Texas

      The numbers of those who die young and as the victims of violence are staggering. You've described all the emotions with this one.

    • Frank Atanacio profile image
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      Frank Atanacio 3 years ago from Shelton

      thanks again A-C bless you

    • Ariel-Cal profile image

      Evelia Veronica Rivera 3 years ago from Bridgeport, CT

      Thumbs up!

    • Frank Atanacio profile image
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      Frank Atanacio 3 years ago from Shelton

      flourish good to see you..thanks and bless you :)

    • FlourishAnyway profile image

      FlourishAnyway 3 years ago from USA

      So sad and powerful. You're a fantastic writer, Frank.

    • Frank Atanacio profile image
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      Frank Atanacio 3 years ago from Shelton

      thank you Audrey :)

    • AudreyHowitt profile image

      Audrey Howitt 3 years ago from California

      Such a sad write--grim--I think Bill said it--but you do this genre so well--

    • Frank Atanacio profile image
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      Frank Atanacio 3 years ago from Shelton

      thank you Cam.. you are dead on...:)

    • cam8510 profile image

      Chris Mills 3 years ago from Missoula, Montana at least until March 2018

      Hmmm, death portrayed as an actual character, observing the world it operates in, evaluating the rat race, understanding the rat race? Then life is introduced as a character as well. Interesting perspectives, Frank. I hope I've understood it as you intended. And even death objects sometimes, "a small, waver sound of protest passed his lips." Well done and creative.

    • Frank Atanacio profile image
      Author

      Frank Atanacio 3 years ago from Shelton

      thank you so much uban.. and always good to see you Faith :)

    • Faith Reaper profile image

      Faith Reaper 3 years ago from southern USA

      Wow, dear Frank, you made death have a personality all its own! Clever and intriguing poem. You are an excellent writer to create that abhorrent atmosphere.

      Blessings

    • ubanichijioke profile image

      Alexander Thandi Ubani 3 years ago from Lagos

      Oh how sad!

    • Frank Atanacio profile image
      Author

      Frank Atanacio 3 years ago from Shelton

      thank you msdora for stopping by :)

    • MsDora profile image

      Dora Weithers 3 years ago from The Caribbean

      Only in a rat race: "some crimes made sense," "two young boys shot in the back." So chaotic (like your picture) even death seems confused. Lord, have mercy!

    • Frank Atanacio profile image
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      Frank Atanacio 3 years ago from Shelton

      thanks Lady :)

    • LadyFiddler profile image

      Joanna Chandler 3 years ago from On planet Earth

      Hey Frankie good day to you ;) I certainly do not want to get caught up in that rat race but i guess some people really run this life with a fast pace, most times when they do their life span is cut short.

      Thanks for sharing .

      Ladyfiddler :)

    • Frank Atanacio profile image
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      Frank Atanacio 3 years ago from Shelton

      thank you for your kind comment Tobusiness and Genna East.. way too kind :)

    • Genna East profile image

      Genna East 3 years ago from Massachusetts, USA

      Wow! Powerful, meaningful and profound. You cause us to think, yet again, Frank, which is one of the reasons I am such a fan of your work. Voted up +++.

    • tobusiness profile image

      Jo Alexis-Hagues 3 years ago from Bedfordshire, U.K

      Frank, on the Mean Streets, death is always hovering, never having long to wait. Hard hitting poem, impressive writing.

    • Frank Atanacio profile image
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      Frank Atanacio 3 years ago from Shelton

      thank you so much always good to see you :)

    • Frank Atanacio profile image
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      Frank Atanacio 3 years ago from Shelton

      thank you Till and Jackie for visiting my page

    • Frank Atanacio profile image
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      Frank Atanacio 3 years ago from Shelton

      thank you so much Billy and Jodah.. for visiting my page

    • always exploring profile image

      Ruby Jean Fuller 3 years ago from Southern Illinois

      Wow, Frank this was heavy. I guess there are many rat races throughout the world, people living in the ghettos, just another killing. Well done. Awesome vote...

    • Jackie Lynnley profile image

      Jackie Lynnley 3 years ago from The Beautiful South

      I was scanning through your writings just a few minutes ago and didn't see this; then noticed in my email and had to sign back in to read it and comment; knowing it would be worth it. And it was.

    • tillsontitan profile image

      Mary Craig 3 years ago from New York

      " death and life meet face to face", powerful stuff Frank. How sad this is all too common in real life, but you, master craftsman have written it into a beautiful, twisted poem.

      Voted up, awesome, and interesting.

    • Jodah profile image

      John Hansen 3 years ago from Queensland Australia

      I like this poem Frank.. Even though as Bill described it as "grim"...good work, I always look forward to your next hub.

    • billybuc profile image

      Bill Holland 3 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Grim but fantastic, Frank. I can see Death looking down at the corpses, feeling all satisfied at his work. Well done my friend.

    • Frank Atanacio profile image
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      Frank Atanacio 3 years ago from Shelton

      thank you annart :) bless you

    • annart profile image

      Ann Carr 3 years ago from SW England

      Powerful poem. The atmosphere is heavily indignant.

      This reminds me of 'The Book Thief', only in that Death narrates the story and is sometimes loathe to take the bodies as he thinks it's not their turn!

      Ann