ArtsAutosBooksBusinessEducationEntertainmentFamilyFashionFoodGamesGenderHealthHolidaysHomeHubPagesPersonal FinancePetsPoliticsReligionSportsTechnologyTravel

A Short Story Called I Am Not Useless

Updated on January 29, 2012
Source

A quick author's note

I have started putting up chapters of a book that I have written. Thus far, I have put up three. But I am inspired for this short story to be up. The next chapter of my story will be posted tomorrow. But for today, I will have this short story.

For once, I request that no one critique this. It is based off of an experience of a very dear friend of mine and that experience is a source of anguish and irritation--just not good feelings. Thank you.

It was the death of her mother that seemed to make a crack in the dam. Her father now found that he was alone and out of an obligation that he had been under for over sixty years and he seemed to twist the sorrowful and tragic death in a way that was expected of him. She listened as her father told her that his wife's death was because she could no longer be used by God and that He took her away because of her uselessness. That was the way things were with all the females in his life--they were useless, never amounted to anything, and did nothing for this world unlike he and his son.

His son had a successful business. And he had a power through God that healed. She had often seen him hold a person's hand while saying a prayer, shaking his hand so that the power of God left him and into the other person.

She listened as her father told her that her mother respected him so much as to not die before he gave her permission. She listened as her father told her of all the younger women he was now looking for--although she was disgusted when she realized those women were as old as her sister and he was flashing her mother's jewelry at them.

But he was old and bigoted, and she forgave him for some of the words and ignored him for the rest. Yet, in the back of her mind, one thing remind clear; he was as sexist as he had ever been and he thought that his late wife was as useless as apparently God thought she was. Her solace was the slim possibility that he would someday, before his life came to an end, realize how wretched his thoughts were and he would finally realize the worth of the people around him.

All hope for his epiphany was lost a few short years later.

His son, her brother, passed away. The brother had a rare form of cancer that was not lucrative to research. No matter how much money was tossed around, for there was nothing less than an excess of that, the cancer was advancing. The irony, as she remarked to her own daughters one day, was that a man who seemed to value nothing but money could not be saved by it. The tragedy was that the man died overseas instead of staying put and making things right with his own children.

The old man reflected on the death of his son. His son died because he ate Mexican food. His son passed on because God had seen all the good that he had done in the world and rewarded him with entrance into His arms. His son died because of how useful he was to the world.

She had regrets about her brother's passing. She remembered that he told his family that he wished they had a pet when she was born. She remembered how he belittled her family for sinning against God and reprimanding her to follow his words to cure her mentally unstable boy. She remembered how wrong he thought her in everything she did, from spankings that were originally suggested by her brother, to bringing her family to counseling when her family was falling apart. She felt nothing but sorrow for his wasted years that could have mended so many things but were spent desperately reaching for a cure he was solidly against years ago.

The death of her father's son broke open the dam and allowed the irritation, sadness, anger, regret, and disgust overflow to everyone except her father. She couldn't say anything to the man who lost his wife and son in just a few short years. She couldn't convey her frustration to her new husband, since he could never truly know. But she could confide in someone who knew everything and was viewed just as worthless--her sister.

For two hours the sisters talked one night. They reflected on how their work, nursing, was viewed as a waste of time and a worthless profession by their father. They reflected on the many times that their father snapped at them for not divorcing a bad man but then being criticized by him after divorcing. They reflected how he treated their mother with cruel words.

Once the phone call ended and she was able to release her frustrations for that day, she sat on the couch with her daughter. Her daughter could tell that she was feeling much better, but indignation arose in her heart. The daughter was the second grandchild of this man to graduate from college. The daughter was kind and tried to help someone every single day. The daughter was not useless, just like her mother and her aunt. They worked harder, smiled more often, and encouraged the love of others everyday, unlike some others in the family.

One grandson quit college to get an under-the-table education to be a mechanic. Another grandson became a pharmacist. Another grandson was just a drifter, but a family man. Two grandsons had a troubled past and the grandfather held little contact with them. The final grandson inherited his late father's business. For some reason, these grandchildren were all successful.

One granddaughter graduated college and was searching for a job, however she was viewed as wasting money because she was going to get married and become a housewife anyway. The second granddaughter had a baby out of wedlock, but needed psychiatric help. The third granddaughter was just as useless as the others because she was working and wasting money, just like the first.

The daughter, keeping quiet about all her indignation for being viewed as worthless and useless, spent some time with her mother before watching her mother go up to bed with the kindest man that she had ever met. The mother and her new husband worked hard for each other and loved each other greatly. She knew that she could rely on her husband if she needed to. He was a great, simple man. No wonder her father didn't care for him.

God was punishing all the women in the family, according to her father. They were not praying hard enough, or were just weak. Never mind that one of his own daughters was molested. Never mind one of his own daughters married horrible men. They were just stupid, even though he approved of the men who hurt his daughters before their true colors were revealed.

She thought of one of her daughters. She graduated from college. She tried her best, although was floundering just now. However, she hid a few huge secrets about her daughter from her father--her daughter was gay and not a Christian. She thought of her other daughter. She had just gotten out of a bad divorce and was finally getting her life back on track by going to school and working. But she had to hide the fact that her other daughter was also not Christian from a man who spent many years as a missionary, preaching his own version of Christianity, and convincing everyone from pastors and priests to kids with tattoos of how evil and full of sin they were. She shuddered to think what would happen to the old man if he ever found out about her daughter's secrets.

She then began to think of the things she did at work. Just recently, she spoke up to stop a co-worker from stealing narcotics. She made sure that the elderly were kept happy and as pain-free as possible as they began to die. She worked double-shifts and two different jobs just to provide for her family and her household. She was a kind, hardworking woman who received thanks from her patients and friends from the town.

This woman, who worked so hard as to ruin her back, loved her family for what they were. She had known the dark side of human nature as well as the light. Her daughters and sons loved her. Her new husband loved her. Her friends loved her. She could give advice and be a support for anyone who asked her. She had compassion and empathy. She thought of these things as she closed her eyes, her aging hand grasping her husbands and her back sore from the work of the day. Just as sleep crept on her, she whispered one sentence.

"Am I really useless?"

A smile was on her face as she finally drifted off.


Comments

    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment

    • profile image

      mansi 

      2 years ago

      I think it is not useless

    • Michael-Milec profile image

      Michael-Milec 

      3 years ago

      Hi Cammiebar.

      Oh, my. What an eye opening story of daisy chain. Presenting her contribution to the society so highly advantageous, after coming out from a depressive "his version of Christianity" environment, this person isn't useful only but to my estimation she is a saint. Some evaluation of the 'old man' might be better understood if wived through the microscope of 'spiritual' reality where the origin of it all dwells ...

      Voting up,useful, interesting.

      Peace.

    • lisavanvorst profile image

      Lisa VanVorst 

      3 years ago from New Jersey

      No she is not useless. What a sad story. Thank you for sharing.

    • Shyron E Shenko profile image

      Shyron E Shenko 

      3 years ago from Texas

      Cammiebar, this is so telling, how most men think and some women also. Sad that the man never found out in time to appreciate his daughters.

      But, the brother, believes in God, because there are no unbelievers in hell.

      Wonderful hub, thumb-up UABI and shared.

    • mariofa profile image

      mariofa 

      6 years ago from Italy

      Love, suach an easy word, but so difficult to feel it and express it

    • Cammiebar profile imageAUTHOR

      Cammiebar 

      6 years ago from Upstate New York

      The Original Eman

      That is so true. Love is so important for everyone. But it is always difficult when you are being pushed to not even loving yourself. Thanks for the comment and all the best!

    • Cammiebar profile imageAUTHOR

      Cammiebar 

      6 years ago from Upstate New York

      The Finance Hub

      Thank you for your comment! All the best to you!

    • The original Eman profile image

      The original Eman 

      6 years ago from london

      Cammiebar i really enjoyed reading this hub thank you for posting this.Its such a shame she couldn't find that siginficant love from her father it just shows how important love is in everyday life and without it we can be all doomed.

    • Cammiebar profile imageAUTHOR

      Cammiebar 

      6 years ago from Upstate New York

      Christy,

      Thanks for reading it. Believe it or not, the emotion expressed in this is not even close to the emotions that my friend's family has. They are so much deeper. Thanks for your comment! All the best!

    • ChristyWrites profile image

      Christy Birmingham 

      6 years ago from British Columbia, Canada

      She is not useless by any means. The emotions jump off the page here!

    • Cammiebar profile imageAUTHOR

      Cammiebar 

      6 years ago from Upstate New York

      teaches12345

      She is definitely searching for love and acceptance, but she is already finding it. She just can't get it from the one man she had in her life the longest--her father. Thanks for you comment! All the best!

    • teaches12345 profile image

      Dianna Mendez 

      6 years ago

      Very deep insight into a woman's life. She is definitely searching for love and acceptance. May she find solace in the truth that she is someone worthy of being alive and she can do anything she puts her hand to accomplish. Blessings.

    • Cammiebar profile imageAUTHOR

      Cammiebar 

      6 years ago from Upstate New York

      Prasonline, thanks for your comment! All the best!

    • Cammiebar profile imageAUTHOR

      Cammiebar 

      6 years ago from Upstate New York

      Blossom, Thank you for stopping by and your comment! All the best!

    • prasonline profile image

      Prasanna Marlin 

      6 years ago from Sri lanka

      It is true, she was not useless.

      nice article!!

    • BlossomSB profile image

      Bronwen Scott-Branagan 

      6 years ago from Victoria, Australia

      No, she was not in the least useless and she could go to sleep with a clear conscience.

    • Cammiebar profile imageAUTHOR

      Cammiebar 

      6 years ago from Upstate New York

      Beck Katz

      My friend's father is really just old. That whole family feels that he has suffered enough even though he makes others suffer. Those women are so strong and kind that it brings tears to my eyes every time I think of them. Thank you for your comment and all the best!

    • Becky Katz profile image

      Becky Katz 

      6 years ago from Hereford, AZ

      No, she was not useless.She was a saint for putting up with her father and not telling him how bad he was.

    working

    This website uses cookies

    As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, hubpages.com uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

    For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at: https://hubpages.com/privacy-policy#gdpr

    Show Details
    Necessary
    HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
    LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
    Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
    AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
    Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
    CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
    Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the googleapis.com or gstatic.com domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
    Features
    Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
    Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
    Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
    Marketing
    Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
    Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
    Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
    Statistics
    Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
    ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)