A Step into Freedom
I stand on the edge of the cliff. A metaphorical cliff in the non reality world of my mind. In my mind I stand at the edge of existence. Not this physical existence but the internal existence of who I think I am. Am I willing to take another step off the cliff to what - no more or more? I stand. I breath. I think of William Shakespeare "To be or not to be". But what is to be? Am I - What?
I was working with a patient a year ago that changed or should I say transformed my perception. She lost her husband, her dear love of fifty plus years. She smiles but her body and mind are weak from no known diagnosis. She is letting go. I work hard to help in how I think or know to help. As a physical therapist, I help her body get stronger. I help her to walk to prevent the falls. She continues to weaken. She weakens from her heartbreak of her new aloneness. Her family bonds closer than ever before but she continues in her helplessness.
I have no psychological training to handle this. I am ordered here to help her walk but I also listen to her. I grow with her. I laugh with her, and I cry with her. I feel her fear and pain of death and separation. It was in this moment that I opened to her darkness which opened the sweet darkness in me. This sweet darkness turns pain into love. The compassion of my heart leads to the acceptance of impermanence. I embrace this impermanence.
I am here with you, right here, right now.
This is the only moment that counts.
I now have the courage.
I take the step.
Nothing to grasp too.
I fall to the end of my world.
Where does it stop?
Surrender to the silence.
This is the moment in all there is.
My new dear friend has taught me to value life and death and the end of my wild world in my head. The world of perception is a strange animal. Success or failure is not as important as the matter of love. Open to the courage of life. I once heard that there is nothing to lose and everything to gain. I see now. Wow. Peace is in me, and it is in you. How do I help you to see this? I'm inspired now more than ever before by the beauty of this life. Can you find the new courage to live without grasping? Take this step with me. Walk. Walk in the moment. We may fall or we may rise and it matters not. Walk now. Walk in the peace.
I see the hidden jewel in each person I meet now. Can you realize how beautiful you are? What you see as darkness, I see as light. Your despair may seem grand but allow it to open to love. Stay in that love for it is where the connection dwells that you thought you lost. I admire your courage dear one. I see that you thought love was lost but it is eternal. Love has no form dear one. Love is.