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A Turkey Recipe for Apologetic Humor

Updated on November 23, 2011

The Embarrassed Turkey

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Mix a sleep-deprived, silly young lady with a dash of silly curiousity, and the result is a dish that is not even good enough to be a side dish because it's really like wanting to grow your own potatoes in the garden and make homemade, fluffy mashed potatoes from scratch and adding milk that you got from your cow but instead you got the instant potatoes that is powder in a bag where all you have to do is add water but you still somehow managed to mess up even that.

Better That I Eat You Than Write About You


I'm sorry to all you turkeys out there: small, medium, and large.

I'm sorry that you will float in my tummy, like an oversized, capsized barge.

I'm sure if we'd met a few months before, you wouldn't be on my table right now.

Because it would be sad to eat the turkey that I knew, and might instead be eating a cow.



Another apology

I'm sorry if you are a vegetarian or vegan and don't like that I'm writing about eating turkeys and cows. it's just supposed to be a silly poem--that's it. Thanks.

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      Jenna Ditsch 3 years ago from Illinois

      @wetnosedogs: Oh my--I almost forgot about this. Its not even a poem. I'm kind of embarrassed I even posted this. It doesn't really make sense but such was the state of mind I was in when I wrote it! Gotta show people my light, silly, totally unpolished side too. :-) Thanks for spending a minute of your life reading this silly nonsense.

    • wetnosedogs profile image

      wetnosedogs 3 years ago from Alabama

      Almost Thanksgiving again. I am going to try and not think about this poem while I am eating turkey -LOL.

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      Jenna Ditsch 5 years ago from Illinois

      @leroy64: LOL! I wonder where you would start with a hot dog...

      @always explorying: Yes, I'm sure many! And I'm sure many people are now stuffed and tired. Hope you had a great Thanksgiving!

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      Ruby Jean Fuller 5 years ago from Southern Illinois

      Just think of all the turkeys that were eaten today. Somehow i think it's ok.. Cheers

    • leroy64 profile image

      Brian L. Powell 5 years ago from Dallas, Texas (Oak Cliff)

      I think apologizing to my food is an excellent idea; although, hot dogs might be a problem.

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      Leslie 5 years ago

      You are a nut.

      PS--The reason instant mashed potatoes are easy to mess up is that they are gross and not much at all can save them. :)

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      BBF 5 years ago

      So deep... Ha I love turkey day!

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      Jenna Ditsch 5 years ago from Illinois

      @HendrikDB: Thanks! I do better with the food on my plate if I don't think about how it got there! Happy Thanksgiving!

    • HendrikDB profile image

      HendrikDB 5 years ago

      Good! I even felt guilty - only a little bit!