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The truth about the book 50 shades of grey.

Updated on August 28, 2012
She calls the dude fifty shades and only mentions like seven of his personalities......go figure.
She calls the dude fifty shades and only mentions like seven of his personalities......go figure.

Okay, I know that this is going to offend a lot of ladies but lets face the truth 50 shades of grey is not as cracked up as many women make it to be. Here's why:

1. The characters.
The protagonist, Ana Steele is a very wooden character who has almost no sense of self esteem, no self respect and is very, very boring. When I heard that the book was empowering womens lives in the bedroom, I thought it was going to be about a strong, vivacious woman who know what she wants in a relationship and in the bedroom not some naive sheep who doesn't know her vagina from her boobs. She's so juvenile using the words 'jeez', 'holy cow' and 'oh my' too many times in the book. I mean come on, Tess of the D'Ubervilles.......really?

Now don't let me get started on the Protagonist/Antagonist Christian Grey. First of all he's pathetic, I mean who cares if he had a terrible childhood? There are millions out there who had worse experiences than he did, what do they do? They deal with it, I mean self pity much? Plus, he's a stalker, he's obsessive and he's possessive, if they were anyone who had qualities like he did they would either be in jail or in a mental hospital, whichever comes first. He is a billionaire, he's a sex magician, he's a philanthropist, can play the piano, can fly a helicopter, can sing, can do kick boxing, has a huge penis, is weirdly handsome, has a flawless physique and I guess he's got walking-on-water skills too. No matter how much Ana paints him gold, he's not all that exciting really. I mean his personality seems to be defined by his money, without it he would just be a lonely, dirty, copper haired, grey-eyed guy who spends his time picking on brunettes on the side walk. And what is it with all the women staring at him and blushing? It's not like he's got a halo above his head or he's sparkling or something. Finally he's boring, 'Laters, baby' is not funny or stylish. I swear even my 10 year old brother has better qualities than he does. Blah.

2.The sex.
The sex is repetitive, I mean it got to the point where I would reach a sex scene and I would be like "Oh well, here we go again". I can tell you that it is impossible for a virgin to have seven orgasms, go for another round and give a blow job for the first time of sex unless there's some kind of divine intervention. She gets mini orgasms every time she sees him, it's ridiculous.

3.The relationship.
I don't know about others but the relationship is toxic, dangerous almost. He takes her virginity in a not-so-comfortable way, gets mini seizures each time she chats with other guys, stalks her, controls her, dominates her and gets angry at her a lot. He's obsessed with her and she's obsessed with him.They always use sex to solve every problem, it's like: "Oh my, Christian! The Hoover dam is leaking, jeez!" "Oh Ana, you befuddle me, why don't we have some great Hover dam sex so I can patch it up with my 'release'" "Holy cow!". What really gets to me is when he often tells her that "you're mine!", WTF?! Why doesn't she just wear a shirt that says 'Property of Christian Grey, trespassers will be severely money-whipped'. Tragic, just tragic. Why on earth would any woman want to be in a relationship like that? it's totally stressful and suffocating.

4.The book.
The book is poorly written, has a terrible plot and it's totally unrealistic. Most times as I was reading the book, I had to pause and think;judging by the authors life to be honest it seemed like the woman was projecting all her fantasies on what she wanted her marriage to be like. I mean think about it; The 'obscenely' rich psychopath, the great sex, the gifts, the fact that the bastard is damaged and she can actually fix him, her best friend married his brother, the car chase and the car sex afterwards e.t.c. Everything is exaggerated and repetitive; flushing, eye rolling, lips thinning, whatever and word to the author if you could actually listen to your sub conscious, it wouldn't be called your sub conscious now would it? The movie should be retitled 50 shades of really bad porno.

In Conclusion........
The early feminists fought for equality in society and also in relationships dealing with men too but there is no equality in this book. I have no idea what women are swooning for. The book doesn't teach women about their bodies, it just makes women even more sad that they don't have a body as sensitive as Ana's. the book doesn't teach women to be open about their sexuality, it teaches the men that after all those feminizing yeaars, women really just want to be dominated. Why is it that Ana needed Christain to feel sexy and to feel free? It's not women empowering, it's women submission. The book teaches women(especially young women)to be weak and submissive which is totally the wrong way to go. If the book were written by a man, he would be the most hated man in America. The fact that women are happy over the way Christain buys Ana all her stuff and showers her with fancy gifts just proves men's point that women really are gold digging whores. What the book generally entails to men is that women want a guy who will stalk them, shower them with fancy gifts, dominate them, control them, fuck them uncontrollably and get angry at them. I love the way the story unfolded and the setting but the message? what exactly is the book trying to say? What really surprises me is that the so-called feminists are drooling over the damn book, isn't the message that we're supposed to send to girls and young women that they are in control with their bodies?, they can be sexually and emotionally free without the intervention of a guy? That they absolutely shouldn't be in a relationship be in a relationship with a guy who gets angry at them all the time, who dominates and controls them, who tells them when to eat?! Hell no! Wake the fuck up ladies! I would never want my man to control or dominate me, I don't need him to buy me gifts that I can just get myself, I don't want him to be damaged to such a degree that he takes it out on me and his ex's and I most certainly don't need him to make me feel sexy and free, I've already done that for myself. For those misled readers, If you want to better your sex life there's a thing called communication; try it not going to read some book that has contents that would make even Stan Lee skeptical.

So the next time you and your girlfriends are about to giggle and gossip on the legendary 50 shades of grey, why not stop for a moment and think; Is this really the message that you want to send to all the men out there? Be careful what you wish for ladies..........

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    • belleart profile image

      belleart 3 years ago from Ireland

      Ugh finally! why are so many people seeing this christian guy as prince charming?? He's a total dildo, a control freak and dominates every aspect of Ana's life...this is not the type of man any woman would put up with in real life, so why after reading this book are so many women trying o find this guy?! Ive heard of peoples marriages breaking down because of this...its ridiculous and the fantasy of some 40 year old woman who was obviously bored....not something to look for in reality. Great hub

    • Williamkosko profile image

      William Joseph Kosko 4 years ago from Baltimore, Maryland

      THANK YOU!!! I saw so many girls reading that novel... And I was just like are you serious? I read the first chapter, and usually I try to say nice things or not say anything at all, but... honestly I could write better erotica in my sleep... I have sent text messages to girlfriends with a better plot. That novel is literary garbage... Just had a fantastic marketing scheme... They manipulated people...ironic cause Christian gray was pretty much the same way. lol

    • jantamaya profile image

      Maria Janta-Cooper 5 years ago from UK

      Thank you Marsprofane8 for writing this great hub. Loved to read your critic on Fifty Shades of Grey. Voted up, shared, and linked with my hub.

    • profile image

      PMann105 5 years ago

      I didn't care for the books either and didn't understand all the hype. I believe the reason it's selling so well is because everyone wants to know what the big deal is, but they all come to the same conclusion that it was poorly written, the sex scenes were over-done, and the repetition of certain details became mind-numbingly monotonous (blushing, biting her lip, her pet name for him, etc.).

      I almost didn't read the other two in the series, but a co-worker insisted the second was so much better with romance and an actual story-line so I read it. It was better. I skipped all the sex scenes because enough was enough. Everyone said the third was better so I picked it up, also, and found it to be the worst of the three. I spent most of the third book speed reading and flipping past several pages at a time just to get to the end. I think the third one had 25 chapters, and it took all the way to chapter 20 for something remotely interesting to happen.

    • profile image

      Gina Jenkinson 5 years ago

      Great review. I hated FSOG and I'm ashamed for any woman who loved it. IT just means she hasn't read a book before. Here is my 40 second review.

      http://youtu.be/iqrebIZJ3KA

      Gina. x

    • profile image

      janiceharms 5 years ago

      THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU. I have never in my life read such a shitty book. I can't finish the last 100 pages. I don't care what happens to these characters!! I am bringing this book to my cabin this Saturday night and tossing it into the bonfire!! Cannot wait!!

    • profile image

      Kajira 5 years ago

      As I have said before I an a submissive my self and my Master has bought me bdsm books before and I would have to say the story of O was the best amazing actually it really tells u the story of the couple and the way they grow together and the way she learns to obey and to let her guards down and live for once do things she would never bring her self to doing and this is all out of the bedroom because no one has that much sex... And you are an awful Master if u avoid conversation with your submission and have sex instead...communication is key to every relationship and even more so in bdsm because guess what this girl is literaly giving everything to u show her some respect and communicate ... Thank u...any questions am more then happy to anwser

      Kajira

    • Ivona Poyntz profile image

      Ivona Poyntz 5 years ago from UK

      Great review

    • laptopfinger profile image

      Christiano Odhiambo 5 years ago from Nairobi

      I did not find it all that offensive, but it challenges many assumptions forbidden or accepted on the role of women in society, and the greatest benefit to society now is the debate that arose from its publication.

    • WritingPrompts profile image

      Karen 5 years ago from The Garden of Eugene (Oregon)

      Your review just reinforces the impression I had from reading the book's summary. I don't enjoy reading about women getting abused - so I think I will continue to "pass" on this one. I agree that women, especially younger ones, need good role models... and this does not sound like what I'd want my daughter to be learning about sex.

    • YadiraE profile image

      YadiraE 5 years ago from Puerto Rico

      I read the first one out of curiosity. The books was so hyped that I just needed to know what the fuss was all about. I completely agree with everything you've said. The characters are boring and unrealistic. Their is no plot. The book is so badly written, it makes me angry. The sex is repetitive and dull. I really hated this book for all of these reasons, but mostly because of the message it sends. Grey is very possessive of Ana. He tells her what to do or not to do, he's always watching her and he's super jealous. And worst of all Ana just takes it! She feels that what he's doing is wrong but one look from him and she's putty in his hands. I don't get why women say that this book is empowering to women. I think its the opposite. Ana is naive and stupid and Grey is just taking advantage of her. I really don't believe for a second that he loves her. There is a big difference between love and attraction, and that's what I think their relationship is, mostly because the writing is so bad that I don't believe that they have any sort of feelings for each other, other than wanting to tear each others pants off. Anyway, that's my opinion in the matter. I would not recommend this book to anyone and I would always express my opinion in the matter. If you want to read a good BDSM book, don't turn to Fifty Shades of Grey. Even though I've never read any other book in the matter because it's just not my style, I'm sure there are better books out there.

    • daisydayz profile image

      Chantele Cross-Jones 5 years ago from Cardiff

      Ok so I've read all 3, simply becuase I have a curious mind, and believe I should have my own opinion of it, not that garnered off others. But that said I agree with every point you made! My main issues isnt really the content or story (there has been erotica like this out for a long time, its nothing new!!) its just how badly its written!! If a book as badly written as theis can become a best seller all over the world, sell millions of copies and make some one a millionaire, we are in trouble! If this is deemed a good book, God help us! I dont know whether its because I come from a writing background or because I read a lot but I just cant believe this made it through the hands of editors, agents and proofreaders and still turned out so shockingly bad!

    • Marsprofane8 profile image
      Author

      Marsprofane8 5 years ago from Abuja

      Thanks!

    • Marsprofane8 profile image
      Author

      Marsprofane8 5 years ago from Abuja

      You're so right. Thanks for the comment!

    • Marsprofane8 profile image
      Author

      Marsprofane8 5 years ago from Abuja

      Thanks for commenting!

    • Marsprofane8 profile image
      Author

      Marsprofane8 5 years ago from Abuja

      You're so right. Thanks for commenting!

    • Rosyel Sawali profile image

      Rosyel Sawali 5 years ago from Manila, Philippines

      I haven't read the book so your review is really helpful. Congratulations on your Hubnuggets nomination! Your hub will be helpful to those who are curious about the book. ^_^

    • Alecia Murphy profile image

      Alecia Murphy 5 years ago from Wilmington, North Carolina

      I would never have ventured to read this book because after reading your reviews and others by actual writers, I know I would have hated myself for even attempting it. As a writer, I think picking a book for pleasure is alot of trial and error but I don't understand the phenom either. Beyond bad writing, it sounds completely unrealistic and unromantic. A very good hub review all around!

    • ripplemaker profile image

      Michelle Simtoco 5 years ago from Cebu, Philippines

      With all these things, I plan not to read it LOL

      Congratulations on your Hubnuggets nomination! This way to read and vote https://hubpages.com/community/Nick-Vujicic-Living... Enjoy!

    • KimberleyMarshall profile image

      KimberleyMarshall 5 years ago from Detroit, MI

      I haven't read it simply because of the parallels between child abuse and BDSM sex lives. It fights everything that survivors fight for once they've removed themselves from these toxic situations and then to come into this kind of toxic relationship where he gets to have the control, that's called being the abuser. Great analysis and beautiful satire, lol. Voted up funny and interesting.

    • Marsprofane8 profile image
      Author

      Marsprofane8 5 years ago from Abuja

      Thanks for commenting!

    • profile image

      Jazz 5 years ago

      I love the comments here and am so glad I am not on my own here. I actually laughed often while reading it, and am disappointed in myself for reading the entire book hoping it would improve. The sexual content disturbs me in the way that so many young women reading the book will be most likely be left feeling quite inadequate that their bodies are not responding the way Ana's is. This book is dangerous on so many levels. Repetitive, tiresome, and quite immature. Shame shame shame on the misinformed author, and shame shame shame on me for getting caught up in the all the curiosity and hype and reading the darn thing.....

    • profile image

      Kajira 5 years ago

      Haha master shakes his head when I told him I commented on this he told me to forget about it because it should not matter to me but it does I just hate that my lifestyle is so "popular" but still none exseptable...I am happy to anwser any questions anyone has I love to inform people of the truth of my lifestyle and not this bull shit found in a novel....oh an btw most wealthy men are submissive because they like a break from reality

    • Marsprofane8 profile image
      Author

      Marsprofane8 5 years ago from Abuja

      It's totally nice to get advice from a real submissive to see what the real relationship is like. I'm with you on the fact that there are no real Christian Greys out there. It's really sad that women have to get substantial information about relationships from books. Thanks for commenting! Say Hi to master for me! :-)

    • profile image

      Kajira 5 years ago

      I hate this novel because every fucking person that reads this now will think I can do this or I want someone like this but I got to tell u am a submissive and I live with my dominant and he is loving and gives me freedom as long as I don't break rules...I know it sounds weird but this life style is loving and he respects the gift I give him as a submissive...but compaired to the novel my life is hell which it's not but the novel makes it look like am some crazy person with a damaged childhood which am not and its rediculous because first if I ever gave attitude or rolled my eyes at master he would spank me right there and that's nothing fun but christine grey takes it lightly and jokes around when she misbehaves but then he is suppose to be controlling...sure...and to ad to all this ladies you will never find a christine grey...you don't know what submission is...it's not this novel I tell u...the real thing is like any other relationship but with a set person in control...I don't have sex every waking moment of my life and I sure as hell dont act like a dummy...master and I have conversations lots of them and we cuddle and love each other but there are rules that's all...really needed to get that off my chest :)

    • Marsprofane8 profile image
      Author

      Marsprofane8 5 years ago from Abuja

      You're so right! I forgot to mention the British-wannabe-American part. I just got so upset about lots of ladies going gaga about it when really it just is a book. Thanks for commenting!

    • amymarie_5 profile image

      amymarie_5 5 years ago from Chicago IL

      Im reading the book right now. I feel the same way you do. I just don't get the hype around it. It's sexist and stupid to the point that I find myself laughing at it. Oh and one other thing that drives me nuts is that Ana is not British. She's supposed to be American yet she talks British drinks tea the same way Brits do and reads British novels. Hell even her dad likes soccer. I get that the author is British so why not have the book take place in England? I know it's a petty complaint but god it's so irritating. Lol. Anyway I loved your review and glad someone else out there sees this book the way I do. Rated all ups.