One day you will understand me
Savitri approved for the marriage. She had just completed the graduation. Lots of dreams lots of ambitions were flying around her. But what she could do? She had her three sisters and the only brother beside her. She could have placed her opinion but for the sake of her family where the only bread earner was her father, she said yes. She didn’t even meet him.by the way it was not her fault at that time arrange marriages were held like that. She took the responsibility of her new family too. Within a year she had a baby girl. She doesn’t know if she was ready but she had to go with the flow. Gradually she tried to manage the family life as well as her work life well. She with the help of her husband developed her family life. Got a good house, a car, all the necessary essentials they required.by the time she had her second baby. It’s a baby boy. All were very happy. As expected by every typical Indian Family she has a boy and a girl. But still she does not have the courage to laugh aloud. What is the problem? She have achieved every single thing that a typical Indian parents desire for, be it their daughter or son. Her husband never stopped her in any activities. But still why is it so that she is not happy. Sometimes she cries but then again she managed herself. Whom to say what to say? Her siblings were all well settled. All are busy in the life’s competition.no one has ever tried to ask her “are you happy?” not even her parents. But to whom she would blame? Now her children are grown up. They are not up to the level as their father expected. What is happening? As if everything has turned upside down. As if some unrecognised wave has drowned their effort. Now her husband who is her only support also blames her in every single reason. She listened to it because somewhere she feels responsible for those entire problems. Since our Indian society believes the concept of “pati parmeshwar” (Husband is the Supreme Lord for the wife). Savitri never tried to argue or may be never took an effort to sort out the things. May be its too late for a change. Her children are matured now they too know how to make a smoke screen of an ideal family in front of society. But sometimes they also ask ‘why you gave us birth?’ They feel guilty because they could not stand up to their father’s expectations. And thus regard them the cause of every problem. She just perceives each and every situation with a mute node. Whom to blame? Is she herself is the reason of everything?
She never opens up with her husband. Never had they talked about their past life. Both of them tried their best to stretch the elastic of their married life according to the society’s expectations. They don’t remember their birthdays. Anniversary! Sometimes she remembers but celebrates it on herself by bowing her head in front of the small temple place of their house. Sometimes she speaks up ‘today is our anniversary’. Both the children get excited for the dinner because they know mother will be cooking something special. But she gets passive reply from the other side. She cooks something special for their children to make them happy and special.
Sometimes she thinks to ask him ‘Do you had any one in your life before?’ but she afraid. Afraid of what? She doesn’t know.
Her bones are getting weakened. She wants to sleep for sometimes in the morning. But she can’t. She has to prepare meal for all and who will clean the house? Does she becoming very much particular to cleaning for which she have left other duties. All such dilemmas have been killing her from inside.
But she continues her duties in the same flow as she has been doing since marriage with the hope that “one day you will understand me”.