Finding Inspiration to Seriously Write
Even if I decide not to reprise or erase some of my more cynical pieces on vanity in writing, I perhaps would like to express a mile stone in the thinking of a writer. I know that there are many here who have come across my work and some of it points to a serious belief that I am not well in the head. Other words make me appear to be a bitter self righteous prick who has it in for anyone not as intelligent as I am if that were possible. Still other works may describe my heart and sense of romance but nothing in my work actually ties everything together.
It is true, I am cranky at times. I am impatient most of the time. I am a religious snob often and I hate to argue because I have the deep seated fear that I am not as sound as I would have my words make me seem. In short I am human. I am still a writer. I write and I write and each of my works is like a child that either expresses that thought it was intended to express or it doesn't. Regardless of whether I actually agree with what I said in the past it doesn't do me any good to take back one of my thoughts. There isn't a reason to censor my pen even when I may not even like how it expresses one of my uglier urges or makes me now feel self conscious every time I read it but that is beside the point of why it exists.
I have some times looked at one of my works as someone suggested and found that that thought deserved a make over as it was only a thought set out there and not a coherent expression. Heaven knows that some may think I still have some hubs that seem to fit in that category.
If I wanted to be popular I suppose I could be. Anything is possible. If I wanted to have my works all appear on the “hot” list or get constant traffic I know I can do that too. All I would have to do is put my pious, arrogant and analytical mind to the algorithm that makes the public here on Hub pages tick and I would come up with the answer to the cure to the wounded vanity pen in a hurry.
Every time I am tempted, however, there is a portion of my soul that coughs and says, "Why bother?" I know the answer to that one too; both answers in fact. One side says that if one wants to make money at this craft, which I haven't yet, then it behooves me not to offend the writing public that I count on for my bread.
The other side says that trying to pander to the type of people who follow trends like lemmings off the cliff of whatever is considered hot or popular is asking for trouble because once you are in that position there is never enough. Once you are popular for someone else's reasons you are in front of a train that has no where to stop and if you cant stay as the engine or the lead lemming you are asking to be run over by everyone behind you.
A wise villain once said, "Kings come, and Kings go, but one thing remains the same and that is me." Perhaps it is worthy of considering that those who seek popularity at every turn end up more unpopular in the long run then those few who some hate and others love in about half portions but eventually they can rest knowing that they still exist as a whole expresser of their personal truth.
It is this reasoning that makes me question the sanity of anyone who gets caught up worrying about where they stand on hub pages or in political polls alike. Anyone can get to the head of the pack, please the hub pages council or even find a subject that a majority of readers have a voyeuristic desire to peruse. Heck pornography sells. Not everything that is pornographic however has a naked girl on the front. If you never looked up the meaning of that word perhaps you should.
Know this; however, today’s sensation will line the waste bins of the ever present abyss of thought tomorrow. If you wish to be heard perhaps you should stop looking through the tabloids of your mind and reach for your personal library. Look for the books that are still around because even you thought they were too precious to throw away after you read them. Next pick up your pen and write the substance of your own soul regardless of what you see in the finished work.