A Time of Giddy

Debbie went completely insane over an actor. The first in her forty four years of life she was totally gaga and assumed it a sign of menopause.

She wasn’t the only one to fall hopelessly in love with Gideon Alexander Drake. There were over two million hits a Google returned when his name was entered.

He was appearing in Cassiopeia Descends, a Space Opera. He played a mercenary called Loki Mascam. The Sci-Fi world was hysterical, few had ever seen a man so very beautiful before.

Debbie joined every message board/forum listed under his name. She met women like herself. Older women who drooled over GAD, (as they called him), sharing every bit of information they could glean from the 2 Million plus sites.

When they heard he would be at a Sci-Fi Convention in Dallas, they vowed to go.
Money was no problem.

These were women whose responsibilities were themselves. They could borrow if they didn’t have it in cash or credit. Because they HAD to go.

Debbie wasn’t the kind to up and go on a ridiculous quest like this, but up and went she did.

She got on a bus and was off, traveling two days. Two days sleeping on a bus, getting food at the various stops. It was sleezy, yes, but a remarkable break from her stagnant middle aged life.

Not unexpected, she met four women very much like her who were going where she was going with the same mentality. They called each other by their ‘nicks’, Nympi and Cyberine, Shelac and Lokisha, and acted as if they were sisters or co-wives.

Reaching the venue, they encountered others they’d met online. Women they knew well, but had never met. They ran about crowing like school children when a nick gained a face, excited afresh each time .

The majority of Debbie's crew were between 40 and 50. Most had kids, some did not. None were married; some had been, some never were.

Most were heavy set, ranging from a size six to a ten.

All were insanely in love with 'Giddy'. as they now called him.

To hear them speak with such intimacy Debbie thought they must know him well, but soon realised they knew no more of him than she did. They knew the character he portrayed, what he had written or said in official interviews, and all the luscious photographs which clogged the bandwidth.

The Con was jammed, many Trek and Wars types to see their Stars, but her crew were loyal to Gideon. They wandered around the Con looking for a sign of Gideon.

When his presentation began she was so excited she almost fainted and those beside her felt the same. He spoke, his voice like warm chocolate, and the way he moved and smiled was beyond perfect.

After his presentation questions were asked. She didn’t know what to ask him, but her friends did. He seemed to know of them having encountered them on his MB.

Then it was over.

They tumbled out into the arena repeating everything they’d seen and heard then suddenly! There He was!

Her friends rushed him, but she moved slowly, noticing he was with a guy about his size and age and that neither looked friendly. When Nympi went to hold on to him, Gideon sidestepped, and his friend pushed her away and became protective.

Debbie heard Giddy say something about not being an exhibit and that he’d already done his part and if they wanted autographs they’d have wait until six when he would be signing in the lobby.

Debbie, who was not part of the group heard more than the words. She heard the tone, saw the look in his eyes.

She did not want to be considered part of the GAD group, so turned to the guy beside her who was dressed as a Vulcan. Having nothing to say, she complimented his costume. They exchanged words, but all she was thinking concerned Gideon.

He was not a nice person. Not the person she'd thought he was.

Gideon was happy for the money, for the fame, but didn’t care a pin about his fans, about the Con. He cared about himself.

The women Debbie had been with did not pick up on his revulsion. They continued to follow him around the exhibit floor. She stayed with the Vulcan whose main interest in her was to ask if she had any more gum.

For the next hour or so she tried to ascertain if she was sorry she’d come, considering who he really was, but wasn’t. For the first in many years Debbie was doing what Debbie had wanted, not what her kids, her boss, the neighbors needed. Being alone like this, being on the fringe of this was something she needed.

At some point Cyberine and the others rushed saying “Giddy is signing!” and although she felt like replying ‘so what?’ went with them as if she was every bit
as excited.

They stood on line forever and finally when it was her turn and he looked at her and asked ‘name?’ she said’ “Make it out to Ruthie...” Ruthie was her daughter who probably didn’t know who he was.

By the end of the Con she had made a busload of friends. They traveled together as far as they were going, then made tearful good-byes, hugging, promising to keep in touch.

That was twelve years ago.

There were only six members of the GAD MB now. Many of the threads were stale.
Gideon was not on television any more. The show had been canceled after three seasons and he went on to oblivion, occasionally appearing in off off Broadway plays.

Some of women had to go to everything he was in, buying tickets for three or more performances. Others went if the venue was near.

Debbie attended none, even when he was appearing twenty minutes from her home by subway.

The last time she Googled his name was two years ago. There were less than 100k results, most about the cancelled show and many old photographs.

He wasn’t so beautiful to her eyes anymore. .

The few times she logged onto the MB she skimmed the rehashes and repostings, answering with an LOL or Thud alert, to prove she was alive.

She felt sorry for the pathetic remainder of members who continued to worship a man who didn't exist. A man who never existed.

It was two weeks before Christmas when she met GAD at Macy’s in New York City. It was not exactly a 'cute meet’ as Hollywood would call it.

She was standing on a line and a guy seemed familiar so she said; 'Oh hi,’ and he looked at her puzzled, as if trying to place her.

“Carla?” he asked.

“No, Debbie,” she replied as if he should know.

“Oh hi,” he smiled, still trying to fit her into some category.

She was trying to recall where they had met when she realised he had been Loki.
He was Gideon Alexander Drake. Or had been That Gideon Alexander Drake.

She tried to think of something clever to say, couldn’t so tossed; “Oh, Merry Christmas.” “Yeah.” he replied glumly and muttered about not liking Christmas.

She recalled he was Wicca. In her Giddy fan days she had researched him until she could write a thesis.

“Well, you do have the tree to celebrate...” she mentioned.

He gave her a real smile then, and nodded, “Oh yes, I remember you-- we met at the Samhein....”

Debbie kept the smile on her face, thinking of Father Francis dropping down in the pulpit if he thought that Debbie Wysocki was frolicing in some forest with other 'Satanists’ in his eyes.

Meanwhile Gideon, probably trying for attention, began a discourse on Wiccan beliefs in re the Evergreen Tree, and because she had read the same things he did, she nodded sagely, adding a few words. He kept going and she kept following.

She perceived that being able to talk and get a crowd meant a lot to him. Even though most of the crowd who heard him were expressing anti-sentiments and the conversation was becoming an open argument, she guessed he needed the attention.

They kept walking together, he kept talking and they went in for coffee. She was loving herself for being able to carry this masquerade off so perfectly.

To keep up her side of the conversation she off handily suggested some TV special to tell the public what Wiccan was, what the tree meant... he cut her off saying that he’d tried so many times over the years to do it but no one would fund it if he were involved.

“Why?” she asked.

“A long time ago I appeared on a television serial you never heard of, and somehow got a following of mind dead obnoxious middle aged women who didn't see me as human. They would follow me, tried to break onto the set, and here I was, as far as the Industry was concerned a no body getting the attention that was supposed to go for a somebody. They weren’t going to pay for extra security as it was cheaper to get rid of me.”

Debbie looked at him, maybe seeing him for the first time.

He spoke a bit more then had to leave as he was driving North and asked if he could drop her somewhere. She was going East, so that was it. He gave her a hug goodbye and walked off.

For a few minutes she thought about posting their meeting on the GAD M.B. then shook her head.

Debbie carried the Christmas gifts she had bought for family and friends and went into the subway.