Abby Chapter IV
This is the fourth installment of Abby. If you haven't already read the last three chapters they are all posted on my HP home page. I have switched tense in this chapter. Please enjoy and tell me what you think.
The alcohol has become a constant now. It’s a requirement to sleep and to turn the images and voices off when there is nothing to occupy her thoughts. Abby pours her first cup of coffee which nearly always has a dollop or two of Bailey’s or rum. “How will I keep this up?” she mused out loud.
Jake has been away with his job since the bathroom incident and isn’t due back for another week. He can’t find out or it’ll be back to rehab. The images and the feelings are there every waking moment. Work is usually a good distraction but with a smashed up face work is out of the question until she can see clearly. The pain pills were used up in the first couple of days which definitely calmed her. The alcohol took the place of the Percocet.
Why did he show himself? How did he know the memories would come flooding back at that moment? How did Abby squelch such horrific memories for so long and now be unable to turn them off without drinking or drugging herself into a coma? He must have been watching her all this time.
There were a lot of questions that needed answers but Abby didn’t have the strength at the moment to decide where to begin. There was no way she could share any of this with anyone. If he knew she was going to remember at that moment he knows everything about her.
Abby was born in a small farming community in rural Ontario Canada. When she finished college with her nursing degree she joined a traveling nurse company and ended up in the southern United States. She liked the anonymity of being an outsider and as far away from her roots as possible. She never really knew why she wanted to be so far away from where she grew up.
A trip to rehab for drugs was a low point. She never had a problem with alcohol. How was she supposed to stop the drinking on her own with all the hideous visions that stalk every waking moment and in her dreams at night? There was no one that she could confide in as she knew he was watching. Why was she still alive? Maybe she would be better off dead and at the moment Abby thought that wasn’t a bad idea. What purpose did the blonde man have for keeping her alive and awakening memories that had been dormant all these years?
Back in her drugging years her drug of choice was heroine with a splash of cocaine. At first it was just recreational as she could get it at any party that involved wealthy young people. Being an attractive single nurse in a university teaching hospital made it easy to get invited to events and after parties of the affluent. The drugs were there and never cost a cent. In reality it cost Abby a stint in rehab which wasn’t as bad as the alternatives could have been (loss of nursing license, loss of job, jail, blah, blah, blah). Sarah and Jake know about her patch in drug rehab. Sarah had been her friend and had convinced Abby that she needed to put the drug use to an end and that she couldn’t do it herself. She met Jake during rehab. They were good friends for a long time that built up into a long term relationship. Jake never tried to control Abby and understood her ways.
Heroine and cocaine never tempted her after rehab. Abby still feels as though it was just immaturity and too much partying that lead her down that path. Rehab was not so bad, kind of like a holiday from the real world where she could get in touch with herself or so she thought. Now in hindsight she realizes that she never knew herself at all. The one thing that she was interminably aware of was that she is a sensitive. Being hyper-aware was exhausting. The only time it really served a purpose (in Abby’s mind) was when she was at work. It was what made her a great nurse. Being able to second guess and know ahead of time when something wasn’t right.
Abby could have gone to Med school but in Canada you had to have money and really good grades. Concentration took a lot for Abby. There was too much time to kill being a doctor. Being in the critical care unit with a smaller sicker population of patients and the noise of life preserving equipment kept her busy and distracted her from impressions. The smaller group of patients and limited visitors meant less feedback Abby had to sort through.
Still there is the problem at hand. What do you do? The simple thing would be to put herself out of her misery, but that would leave a monster out there to do more damage to someone else. Abby always kept a low profile. In the world of sensitives there are good sensitives and bad sensitives. You try to stay away from the bad ones by keeping your mind closed when out in public places. The small circle of friends and the areas that she frequented were safe and had been for the last ten years until now. She often let her guard down and opened her frequencies here. She got too comfortable. “How fair is that?” she said aloud again. What sort of God would give someone such a gift that was to be hidden in fear? Abby didn’t believe in a Christian God anyway. A belief in positive thinking and studying quantum physics was what encouraged and comforted her. The hypocrites who proffered Jesus speak turned her stomach she never said it out loud but she thought of them as self righteous bastards.
The drinking had to stop. It wasn’t that she was so entrenched now that she would go into DT’s. Just the Bailey’s now and no more for the rest of the day. There had to be something to distract her. Maybe she would surf the web and do a little research. There had to be someone somehow who could help her. She knew she had to go over what had happened so long ago and go from there. She didn’t want to but it was necessary. She had to conjure up those images to be able to find a way to stop him. There was a way but first she had to relive it.