The Abstruse Sorrows
Memory of the past is known as Nostalgia. It is often called a seductive liar because it is a yearning for the times that cannot be lived again. Nostalgia is an urge and a desire to relive the past. A desire that things would become exactly the same as they used to be.
Sometimes people get nostalgic for the times they have never been to or experienced. There is a term given to that feeling, it is called ‘Anemoia’. It happens when you feel more like at home for those past times and faraway foreign lands.
Someone once said “past is a foreign country, they do things differently there”, Meaning that past, like a foreign country, has its own ways not similar to the present. When you go through the history and look at those old black and white photos, it is quite impossible not to feel the pain of nostalgia and wanderlust in your chest. Its hard, not wanting to just stand on the top of an old building and stare at the road to watch the people passing by who lived and died long before any of us had arrived here. We are so deeply connected to those people but how odd that we never had a chance to meet them, we don’t even know their names but only that they have lived on the same land as we do, felt the same sunlight on their skins, breathed the same air and had the same blood in their veins yet lived in a completely different world.
There is nothing much we can do about that soreness in our hearts but to just sit calmly in the silence and stare at those unknown bygone times and imagine how life must have been in the past and in the foreign.
In our childhood we live in our fantasy world believing everything is possible for us and we will be experiencing every moment we want and see every corner of the world.
“Onism” is a neologism, meaning realization of the fact that we will pass by very little of the world. No matter how hard you try to pursue it all, there will always be occasions and events that will remain untouched by you.
Out of all that you have been wishing and dreaming for, so much of it will remain just a dream. And those fantasies and dreams will stay dominant in your heart waiting for you to fulfil them. No matter how much you see and do there will always be a part of you that will ache for the experiences and adventures you never had because life is too short and we are stuck in one body and one place that’s why we put restrictions and limits on ourselves and find comfort in living inside a congested box. World, on the other hand, is vast and has so much to offer. Onism can be defined as the sadness of not knowing and not experiencing the world. For reaching where you are today or where you will be in future you close billions of doors and give up so much to open only one door,
Onism is the realization of the certainty that there will always be things that will remain undone. We see thousands of lights far away but can only wonder about them and ache to know what’s out there. You will never have a glimpse of idea about what lies behind the doors you have closed.
The Greek word koinos gives us the meaning of commonness and stripped of specialness. Koinophobia is when you realize you have spent an ordinary life. The life in the absence of all the adventures and thrills. At the point when you sit alone in peaceful darkness and think back over your life, you can see a greater amount of it now than at any other time.
You realize it all passed by so simple and quaint. You try to think deep to recall exciting and thrilling events of your life that literally made you feel the adrenaline in your veins. You start searching for something intriguing or delightful. Be that as it may, all you see is normal individuals collected in their small workplaces and classrooms every one of us moving around in little steps.
7 billion people on this planet, each carrying his own story and bearing his own weight of sorrows and joy of happiness. It will be wrong to think you are the only one carrying the burdens of life because that’s not true. Each passer-by has a story worth telling. The world is a big place hiding so many untold tales and so many faces.
Times come when we assume we are the main character and we have the whole world revolving around us. Whenever you face a calamity, you ask yourself why me? Why everyone else is happy and im not. That’s where you are wrong because every person you see is fighting his own battle behind all the closed doors and most of them trying to hide their sadness from the fear of being exposed as vulnerable and defenceless.
Have you ever looked up at the night sky and wondered what is out there in the far away cosmos? By staring at those tiny dots in the sky that could be bigger than our sun, your thoughts get limited and confined but the vastness and immensity of universe does not. It’s in that moment when you feel trapped on earth and time. The ground feels so restricted and suffocated.
There could be other planets in this vast universe that might have life on it or something else that we can never begin to imagine. We can only think about the possibilities but the truth is the distance is so unapproachable.
We don’t know yet what mysteries our solar system hides, as it takes days, years or months to even reach to our neighbourhood planets. We can only picture a vague image of the other worlds. What lies in the dots of the night sky. Maybe there is someone looking at our dot as well and wondering the same thing. Whoever or whatever they are, the distance is so great that they can also not reach us or maybe they don’t want to. You will never know what possibilities lie in the far away universe and in the billions of other galaxies, and maybe it is for the best.
Apart from nostalgia, anemoia or regret, there is another kind of feeling for the past. The obsession of thinking and dwelling over the bygone times. You might be thinking too much about the former time just to relive a certain memory or to keep a painful experience alive. you keep refacing the past and reinterpret it to find new meanings.
Soon you realize the power of time and that it travels faster in a good moment and slows down in a painful episode of your life. You stare at the days gone by and keep staring at it until the meaning of that memory changes. Times come when you believe sad truth about time is once it is gone it never comes back, it cannot be fixed. However, if you look closely enough, thinking and missing the past feels fine but you don’t actually want to go back there again to relive it. One day you are turning 18 and setting the road of your life and without really becoming aware of it you are at your destination. This is your life and the power of the most strongest force of the universe, time!
The feeling that time seems, by all accounts, to be moving quicker and quicker - particularly as one becomes older - speeding towards the inescapable end that will show up out of the blue soon. You feel like time starts moving faster as you age, every year seems to pass faster than the one before it. So in any occasion, when you sit still, it feels like you're stuck and you have quit running with time and the world has ventured out in front of you.
So in any occasion, when you sit still, it feels like you're stuck and you have quit running with time and the world has ventured out in front of you. However, the bitter truth is once time passes by no matter how fast or slow once it’s done, its gone for good. Life is short and life Is long.
© 2020 Rida Fatima