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Adam Was Chinese, Etc.

Updated on February 17, 2012

Noah's gnu....

A little humor for everyone's wild beast!
A little humor for everyone's wild beast! | Source

Adam was the original United Nations Man....

Adam was really Chinese. That need not surprise you, because, of course, Adam was the original United Nations Man, being the father---as we believe---of all mankind (and the not so kind.)

Here is how I know he was at least Chinese.

For thousands of years stretching back into the mythology that lies somewhere after the fact of Adam and the fact of Noah, the Chinese have honored particular animals by their practice of calling their years by such names as "The Year of The Monkey," "The Year of the Tiger," and so forth.

Now the first year that all started was after God had given Adam the right to name all the animals.

Adam approached his task systematically, and after "giraffe but before "goat" he named an animal "gnu."

Now Adam knew the gnu was new to the name of "gnu," so to honor the gnu for having not only one of the newest names, but also to help him realize what an honor it was to have a short and unusual name, Adam decided to name the coming year after the gnu.

Having no other person to talk to at that time, and wanting to spread the news to humans as well as to the gnu, Adam went to Eve and told her of his plan and said, "Happy Gnu Year, Eve!"

Now this tradition was passed down in part to Adam and Eve's Chinese descendants who have continued to name years after animals.

The tradition of the Gnu Year's greeting was also passed down to Americans who still pass along that traditional greeting by greeting and wishing each other "Happy New Year's Eve" and Happy New Year!"

The change in the spelling came about when the Russians translated the Chinese "Gnu" into the English "New," probably in work done by some Russian agnostic.

Unfortunately for the gnus, not everyone is excited about their bestial qualities, in fact, in Africa where the gnus have taken up residence, the African respect for a former American Vice President of Greek heritage has led to a massive hunting expedition each year. In it the African hunters pay their respects to the former Vice President by each hunter trying to spear a gnu!

Of course, none of this is news to those of us who may recall that the first such hunt was undertaken in the spirit that "no gnus, is good news!"

Now just think how history might have been different, if this animal had taken up residence, say---in America! Then perhaps Chicago would have been built on the east coast, and that early cattle town would have been called "Gnu York"!



How is your animal husbandry?

Have you ever known a gnu?

See results

Comments

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    • Perspycacious profile imageAUTHOR

      Demas W Jasper 

      6 years ago from Today's America and The World Beyond

      Just imagine what you yourself could do along these lines with knock/worse/worst and You guessed it (I just can't spell it.)

    • April Reynolds profile image

      April Reynolds 

      6 years ago from Arizona

      Yes you may!

    • Perspycacious profile imageAUTHOR

      Demas W Jasper 

      6 years ago from Today's America and The World Beyond

      I am glad you did, too, Mrs. R. (if I may?(

    • April Reynolds profile image

      April Reynolds 

      6 years ago from Arizona

      I love this Mr.P! (if I may?) This is awesome and brightened my busy day. I'm glad I stole a quick minute to read!

    • Loi-Renee profile image

      Loi-Renee 

      6 years ago from Jamaica

      I had to read it over then read it to my sister. This is hilarious! I see you are fairly gnu to HubPages so welcome! I can't wait to see what else you have in store.

      Voted up and funny.

    • Perspycacious profile imageAUTHOR

      Demas W Jasper 

      6 years ago from Today's America and The World Beyond

      The only thing more enjoyable than writing such creations, is hearing that a reader (you) enjoyed it, too.

    • prektjr.dc profile image

      Debbie Carey 

      6 years ago from Riverton, KS, USA

      cute! really cute! Voted up and funny!

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