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Adam and Eve and The Story of Creation: (A Farcical Short Story)

Updated on December 13, 2016
wingedcentaur profile image

The first step is to know what you do not know. The second step is to ask the right questions. I reserve the right to lean on my ignorance.

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The Supreme Being had grown lonely again. It had been some time since the universe had vaporized. Had spent itself, once again, due to maximum entropy. He gave of himself, once more, and emanated All Things.

Again he brought forth the Light and the Dark. He issued forth quarks, subatomic particles. Upon them built the atoms. Upon them built the compounds. Upon them built the elements.

He distinguished organic from inorganic. He emanated suns, moons, stars, and planets; and regulated their motions. On a very few of those planets he gave of himself so that life would come. On a tiny fraction of these He caused Sentient Beings to emerge, to administer them.

There were no Angels or Demons at this time. For there was no need for intermediary intercession. He went to the People directly and communed and frolicked with them. He embraced them.

They did not fall at His feet. They did not fear Him because He did not want this. He had created them out of Love and Loneliness. And what foolishness is it, to fear oneself?

He came to the little blue planet He had set in the third place from a sun, which He had named Earth. He came to the place where Humans were begun. He came down to the planet's largest island, on the bluest waters, in the most temperate climate. He came to the Garden Valley, where orange blossoms dominated; where the People dined on fruits, vegetables, nuts, and leaves; where cute and fuzzy furries darted about for their amusement; where winged sky creatures did an aerial ballet.

He found Adam and Eve, naked and unashamed. They embraced in familiarity. He told them that the rest of the world was desolate and unformed; that He was giving them the means to shape it as they would.

The Supreme Being gave them instruments made of wood, with strings on them.

"They're called 'guitars,'" He said. "They make music."

He had made the instruments responsive to their minds, so that the music they played would also bring forth: colors, textures, aromas, landscapes, weather patterns, even simpler combinations of other life.

He taught them how to play the instruments. "Whatever you can imagine," He said, "will be brought forth."

He told them that they could play any kind of music they wished. But there was one kind of music, certain scales which they were absolutely forbidden to play. He tacked up a scroll of these on The Tree of the Knowledge of Good and Evil.

Adam and Eve went about shaping the world. The Supreme Being heard, saw, felt, and smelled what they were doing. The landscapes they were shaping were varied and interesting, yet harmonious with the Garden. New living things teemed the waters, lands, and winds.

The Supreme Being was pleased; and He went to Adam and Eve to tell them that their work was Good, but there was much more to do.

One day Eve idled by herself in the Garden, while Adam was off quite a long way foraging. A man came to see her.

She said, "Where did you come from?"

"Oh, just from down below."

"Who are you?"

"The name's Occy Ozlourne."

They embraced in greeting.

"The music you two play," he said, "is so tame."

"You know about that?"

"Yes."

"We are building the world. He has commanded it."

"Its going to be a tame world, if you don't mind my saying so---quite boring. Where's the fun? Where's the adventure? Where's the challenge?"

As they were talking, as Eve was listening to this subversive talk, she noticed that, in his right hand, Occy Ozlourne held something. A living creature that she had never seen before. It was all-black and fuzzy with wings too large for its body; there was no light in the eyes of this creature, somehow.

"What is that?" she said.

"I call it a 'bat.'"

"I thought Adam and I were the only ones given the power to shape this world."

"There are many things the Supreme Being does not tell you."

As they talked, Eve's distrust of the Supreme Being began to grow. As this was happening, Occy Ozlourne bit off the head of the 'bat' and was chewing it.

Aghast, Eve said, "What are you doing?"

"One of the things He doesn't tell you is that eating the flesh of lesser creatures is good. Here, try some."

As the blood dribbled down her chin, Eve agreed that it was indeed good.

When Adam came home from foraging, Eve presented Occy Ozlourne to him, and told him of the wonders the man had revealed to her.

She prevailed upon her mate to partake of raw 'bat.' Adam did so. The People were eating the flesh of other living beings now. Later they would discover that the taste was much better when dead flesh was put to the fire.

Eve told Adam that they must play the musical scales that the Supreme Being had set aside.

Adam resisted. "Oh Eve, you now that is prohibited. The Supreme Being and Flipper Bore have forbidden this."

Adam implored his mate to remain faithful to Him, but Eve countered each of his arguments. And now she was thoughtlessly eating of the Forbidden Tree; and before he knew it Adam was too.

Whatever it was, that fruit from the Tree of Knowledge of Good and Evil, it made them hungry for flesh.

Occy Ozlourne pointed at the scroll tacked to the Forbidden Tree and said, "Come, let us go and make a better world!"

The man from below helped Adam and Eve make modifications to their guitars, which would enable them to bring down the Thunder and Lightning.

The Supreme Being put His hands over His ears. What is that infernal noise? He flew to the Beloved Earth and found it changed. The Wind and Rain whipped up hurricanes and tornadoes. The Thunder and Lightning came down and cracked the ground. The Earth's crust destabilized and the misaligned fault lines caused earthquakes.

Stinking, humid, mosquito-infested jungles arose with foul predators on land and water. Bleak landscapes that seem to have been born dead: deserts. Endless deserts. Volcanoes emerged out of the ground spewing molten death. There was landscapes of pure ice and cold.

He found the People wearing animal hides to cover themselves, eating the flesh of other living creatures roasted over fires.

He found Adam and Eve. They were wearing animal hides. They had cut their hair strangely and there were markings on their face and bodies. They were playing the forbidden music.

"Adam. Eve. What have you done?" the Supreme Being said.

"Rejected your lie," they said. And with the gleam of madness in their eyes, they smashed their modified guitars on the ground.

Occy Ozlourne saw this, from his place below, and it gave him an idea.

The Supreme Being withdrew from them and flew up high into the sky. With great sadness in his heart, once again, He created Heaven and the Angels; for He could no longer commune with His People directly. He made provision for Hell; disobedient Angels would be banished there as Demons.

The People would have to struggle and strain from now on---yet again and as ever---to survive.

Adam and Eve would have two sons. Their son, Cain, would kill their other son, Abel.

The End.

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    • wingedcentaur profile imageAUTHOR

      William Thomas 

      3 years ago from That Great Primordial Smash UP of This and That Which Gave Rise To All Beings and All Things!

      Thank you, Robert Sacchi! I'm glad you found my little scribblings worthwhile on some level.

    • Robert Sacchi profile image

      Robert Sacchi 

      3 years ago

      An interesting variation from the Genesis story with references to modern day entertainment.

    • wingedcentaur profile imageAUTHOR

      William Thomas 

      3 years ago from That Great Primordial Smash UP of This and That Which Gave Rise To All Beings and All Things!

      Thanks, Rodric29! I appreciate that! :)

      Take it easy.

    • Rodric29 profile image

      Rodric Anthony Johnson 

      3 years ago from Peoria, Arizona

      Very creative and interesting. I like it. voted up.

    • wingedcentaur profile imageAUTHOR

      William Thomas 

      3 years ago from That Great Primordial Smash UP of This and That Which Gave Rise To All Beings and All Things!

      Thanks a lot, Frank!

    • Frank Atanacio profile image

      Frank Atanacio 

      3 years ago from Shelton

      a very dramatic creation of Adam and Eve my friend ..

    • wingedcentaur profile imageAUTHOR

      William Thomas 

      3 years ago from That Great Primordial Smash UP of This and That Which Gave Rise To All Beings and All Things!

      Thanks, carrie Lee Night!

      Take it easy. :)

    • carrie Lee Night profile image

      Carrie Lee Night 

      3 years ago from Northeast United States

      Interesting version of a new Adam and Eve. Good creativity.

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