This is a poem of what it is like when we allow ourselves to be defined by our addictions. My addiction was a harmful relationship. Thankfully the Lord is close to the broken hearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit! Praise Jesus!
I cannot breathe.
My heart aches so deeply,
I can do nothing but think of the lasting pain.
Oh how I pray for the slightest remorse.
They say I'm better off now.
I'd love to believe they're right,
But they do not understand my addiction.
You are my drug that I cannot function without.
This involuntary rehab is unbearable.
Continuous tourcher with no relief.
I tried, successfully, to get a visual fix,
But the pain in my chest turned into shards ripping thru my entire being.
Now here alone, all I posses are my thoughts.
Thoughts of only saddness and desolation.
Depression so deep not even the darkest evil can find it's way.
Oh, to be held prisoner in one's own mind.
How I know you are wrong for me.
I now see what you really are.
Your greed and hate; Your controlling lies.
But the pain lessens not at all.
Don't let the intoxication wear thin from my blood.
Please, a bit longer, let me live in the lie.
For I'd rather dream in a world of insanity,
Than face the real world where souls can die.