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Aging Awkwardly

Updated on April 3, 2012

*The following is meant to be fun...I don't really think I'm old, just immature.

I've always thought growing older would mean growing wiser. This may be true, but I feel that I’m spending all of my time worrying about getting older and less time getting wiser. I've learned a lot over the years and I’m hardly the same person as I was 10 years ago, but sometimes I still I feel like I should be more sophisticated or refined by now.

I find myself questioning the younger generation, not understanding the culture. I’m not quite at the get off my lawn point, but I’m sure it’s not far off. I hope that I don’t become bitter in my golden years, nobody likes the mean old man.

I’m sure older readers will laugh at someone in their thirties complaining about getting older, but I keep waiting for that age where it all clicks and comes together. When does this happen, does it happen? As my nose hairs and eyebrows grow more and more rapidly, I've started thinking, what is it going to be like when I get older?

What kind of old man am I going to be? I’m still scared of ghost movies for crying out loud. Our grandfathers proudly fought in WWII while our grandmothers went to work and held down the fort, they were known as the greatest generation. What is it going to be like when I get older? We can’t have a bunch of old men with self esteem issues talking about their feelings. Some still taking classed working on their master’s degrees.

We’ll have old people with names such as Keven and Bryyan, or Aron. They will wear helmets in case they fall, with spf 90 sunblock, drink expensive coffee and talk about working in the trenches of office cubicles. We will have an epidemic of back and wrist injuries, along with obesity, carpel tunnel syndrome and bad eyesight. We had to do what we had to do.

Is it my generation? Are we a bunch of wimps that have been coddled for too long? Has Dr. Phil ruined it for all of us? Are we going diagnose seniors with ADD? Grandma forgot to take her Ritilin again, must be her ADD acting up. Or it could be the fact that she’s old!

They will show our classic movies from our era, Casablanca and Gone with the Wind will be replaced with Ferris Bueler’s Day off and The Breakfast Club, or later….Twilight. Frank Sinatra and Sammy Davis Jr will be replaced with the old time classics of Madonna and Prince, who will no doubt have current albums out in the year 2045. We will reminisce as we listen to Eminem and Lil’ Wayne.

Hopefully we will learn to dress a little nicer, but I know better. I’m already buying black socks and wearing them with shorts. Maybe I’m entering the screw it stage just a little too soon. But what about other trends of younger people, a tattoo on the neck for instance is not going to look to cool at 75. Ladies, that cute little butterfly on your lower back that you got during spring break? What a cool grandma you will make.

Instead of wearing pants at the armpits as some seniors like to do, I’m sure my generation will take care of that, with sagging pants and exposed Depends diapers…I just hope they're clean.

Or maybe at a certain age we will each mature and begin to age gracefully. We will learn from our mistakes and teach the younger generations the lessons we have learned. We will earn respect and carry ourselves with dignity.

With a twinkle in our eye and a smile on our face we will tell the stories of the old days, of how times were simpler, the people nicer, and we all made do with what we had. Sucking on a Werthers and sipping a soda, we will sit back on the recliner and watch classic reruns of Keeping up with the Kardashians and 16 and pregnant to our heart’s content.


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    • weestro profile image

      Pete Fanning 5 years ago from Virginia

      Some of my references are lost on the younger guys as work, we had one who had never heard of the Beastie Boys....sigh.....thanks for commenting Phil, and enjoy what's left of your 30's!!!

    • Phil Plasma profile image

      Phil Plasma 5 years ago from Montreal, Quebec

      I sympathized with your comment about 'Ferris Bueler' and 'Breakfast Club'... I keep returning to these and others like them. Also, about the side effects of working at a computer for a few decades - yep, that will be me.

      I'm also in my thirties, though not for too much longer.

    • drbj profile image

      drbj and sherry 5 years ago from south Florida

      Hi, weestro. The black socks with the shorts would not be such a disaster unless you were also wearing sandals. That's a fashion no-no. Since I am now older than soil, I must confess that when you get this old almost everything on your body hurts. And what doesn't hurt, doesn't work. But a positive attitude and a little wine does work wonders.

      Funny hub, voted it Up of course.

    • weestro profile image

      Pete Fanning 5 years ago from Virginia

      Have you seen the jeans today always? Perhaps you should look closer! Thanks for reading!

      Haven't started clicking yet tillsontitan, so maybe that's why it hasn't come together! Thanks for reading and voting!

    • tillsontitan profile image

      Mary Craig 5 years ago from New York

      It clicks and comes together when you click and come together ;) Getting older (I'm 64) is like a dog play-chasing a one wins you just keep going 'round! Voted up and funny.

    • always exploring profile image

      Ruby Jean Fuller 5 years ago from Southern Illinois

      Time really hasn't changed that much. I wore jeans to school and they are still in today. The one thing i do miss is the drive-in movies. Enjoy life, it passes much too fast. I liked your hub..Cheers

    • weestro profile image

      Pete Fanning 5 years ago from Virginia

      I hope not Cameron, I'll try to stay relaxed!

    • Confessionsof profile image

      Confessionsof 5 years ago from Virginia

      I cant see ya as a grumpy old man but we'll see ;)

    • weestro profile image

      Pete Fanning 5 years ago from Virginia

      Very funny, Jenubouka! I was starting to think that this hub came off as me griping about getting older! I really like the giant necklaces causing back pain thing! LOL, maybe put some rims on the scooter? Thanks!

    • profile image

      jenubouka 5 years ago

      How funny, and how true. Our pop culture's way of living and dressing will be very interesting on how they can pull that off at the age of 40. Will they discover that giant gold necklaces be the cause of the constant back pain, and instead of NIke funding their needs it will be Bengay? Will these racy videos be replace with the "help I have fallen" life alert ads? Only time will tell.

    • weestro profile image

      Pete Fanning 5 years ago from Virginia

      No I know that I've got some youth left in me....just imagining what it will be like when today's generation gets older..Hope you feel better!

    • Becky Katz profile image

      Becky Katz 5 years ago from Hereford, AZ

      Well, I am only 54 and feel ancient today. It doesn't really help that I fell last night while climbing through my teen daughter's bedroom. It is like a jungle in there. I just wanted to see if she had fed her cat. The cat was driving us all nuts and she was asleep. Come to find out, the cat just needed fresh water. My back hurts, my hand is swollen and my knee hurts. Funny that you are worried about it at your age.

    • weestro profile image

      Pete Fanning 5 years ago from Virginia

      That's a great way to look at it Austinstar! Thanks for reading and commenting!

    • Austinstar profile image

      Lela 5 years ago from Somewhere in the universe

      So Pamela, does getting old mean you lose weight? Yay! I have something to look forward to after all. Maybe it's because you lose your teeth or something, eh?

      Funny thing, getting old. I once thought I would never get old. Now I wonder if I'll ever be pain free again? Heck, I can sleep when I'm dead. Meantime, I'll stay up late and have fun.

    • weestro profile image

      Pete Fanning 5 years ago from Virginia

      Okay, I'll take the socks off, but I'm still adamant about my lawn! I like your long term plans, sounds like fun. Thanks Jeannie!

      Great points Pamela! I think it's fun to think what my generation will be like down the road!

    • Pamela N Red profile image

      Pamela N Red 5 years ago from Oklahoma

      Bad news, there are no obese old people. I don't mean to be the bearer of bad news but that's just how it is.

      You are at that awkward age, you aren't young and you aren't old. Exercise get out and enjoy life because you still have many years ahead of you if you take care of yourself.

    • Jeannieinabottle profile image

      Jeannie InABottle 5 years ago from Baltimore, MD

      I think you are going to be OK as long as you ditch the black socks with the shorts. Please don't be that guy. We are both in our 30s. There is no need to slack off so soon! Hehehe.

      I know what you mean though. Personally, I am hoping to move into one of those retirement apartment buildings when I am old. In my mind, it is going to be just like living in the college dorms again, except better since no one will have to attend classes. We will play Bingo instead of Beer Pong and we will have backaches instead of hangovers. Awesome!

      Fun hub and voted up!

    • weestro profile image

      Pete Fanning 5 years ago from Virginia

      Thanks Don, I guess I was more looking at what my generation will be like when we get older. You make great points and I will heed your advice. Happy Birthday to you and I wish you many more to come!

    • Don Bobbitt profile image

      Don Bobbitt 5 years ago from Ruskin Florida

      Come On weestro, SNAP OUT OF IT!

      Here i am, just turned 66 yesterday! And, honestly, I have more things on my body that hurt than I even knew I had twenty years ago.

      But, I have accepted my level of physical decay for what it is, and now I spend my time having fun. Somedays, that may not be much, but then, other days, I have a blast.

      And, i have a great time mixing with younger people, sometimes whether they like it or not, of course.

      But, I enjoy the back and forth of conversations with all of them, and I have no qualms telling them my opinion and often arguing with theirs.

      I know you are younger, but grab a hunk of something, even if it smells sometimes, and play with it, tear it down, analyze it and when necessary fight against it.

      Great Hub.