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An Open Expression From The Heart

Updated on February 20, 2017

A Question To Ask Yourself

In life we all make choices for the betterment of ourselves, along with the ones who surround us. At the end of the day we can only be reassured by pondering one thought, as the mind fades into a sleep. The decisions in which we had made – did they truly make our life better?


Advice From One To Another For The Betterment Of Each Other

Over Forty years of my life, keeping my personal feelings have always been hidden within my chest – never to be seen or heard from by others. Several years now since my Second Divorce (Yes Second) I have slowly worked on being single and just focused on my Kids, School, and Job even though it is a daunting task. Excepting this single life, the best I could has been hard, but you cannot force people to love you. Writing poetry, reading about the American Civil War History, attending school, and loving my two children is how my life has been. I have issues, faults, talents, and beauty just like everybody else on this planet. Ever since my best friend Nathaniel had passed away, it has been difficult for me to let myself become close to other male friends. When it comes to women, it seems that I love too much, and that comes across as selfish.

A heart has the will of its own, there is no control in how much you can love another, or how little. Giving love can fulfill the soul in others, while receiving that same love in return will fulfill your own soul. When a heart is broken, it will heal, but there will be a scar left as a reminder of what happened. My fault in life is simple, I can be quick to react, while at the same time – My heart can fall in love too fast and too deep. My attempt at being a Grizzly Papa Bear can be overbearing, and my love for another can be too much. Maintaining a balance has haunted me all my life, which has left collateral damage for me, along with others who come into my life. Relationships are hard to maintain for long periods of time, and it hurts so much when they do not work out. My mind held held onto a theory which I truly believed could maintain a successful relationship – which is making time for each one another, and complete honest communication. Friendship intertwind with understanding seems to only work with Family, not strangers. Over the years, my heart has been broken, and I have broken the heart of others in terms of relationships. This is something in which I must come to terms with, and hopefully those other people have healed from my stupidity. If anybody can learn from my mistakes – understand this....

Relationships with others in terms of Friendships, and Loving a Partner has up’s and down’s, happy times, sad times, pissed off times, and boring times. No matter where you go together, you bring everything with you. Everywhere, from exotic places to just sitting at home together. Once those bonds of affection develop within each of you, there they will stay safely. Changes can be made by both people, not just one of you. Breakups happen, it is a part of life for everyone. When they end it is due to both individuals giving up on each other. If you truly love someone, there is nothing in the galaxy that would keep you from being with them – Nothing!

I always thought of myself as a self-aware person knowing my Strengths, Weakness, Faults, Talents, and yes – my Sexy Pimp Daddy Self! Really, with all joking aside, I am not that self-absorbed. I am average looking, and never was a pimp daddy. My second marriage that officially ended in Divorce on May 05, 2015, was a very somber time in my life. For almost two years now, I had made it a point to just focus on school to earn a Bachelors in History, my Two Children, and my Job. My honest feelings at that time were to be single and work on myself, which would inturn, make me a better person. This was a belief within myself, which honestly wanted it to be true. Since I would also preach this ideology to my children, it was now time that I do this for myself. After a time of being single, a feeling of being lonely began to follow me like a black cloud every day. Instead of seeing the sunshine, it would fade from bright to dark on many occasions. Being single may work for others, and that is ok for them – I am not one to judge. When an Ol’ Friend of mine came back into my life after Twenty-Five years of separation, my head began spinning and took a time to slow down. After such a long passage of time had passed, there had been so much personal growth that had occurred between both of us. This was for both of us pertaining to having children, along with characteristic baggage. I was so excited about seeing her again after all these years, I just could not wait to be with her. There are times in life when we see what we allow ourselves to see, and believe whole-heartedly the same. Within this mindset, it can be very hard to control and maintain a balance. One can love with passion from within the heart so quickly. Never being cognizant to how we have become selfish in wanting that person all to ourselves. We can lose sight of the feelings for this other person who we are holding onto, so tightly. Some people can handle the pressure and others cannot tolerate it. Not realizing this dilemma, I held too tight, and it deteriorated. Only now do I realize, my own character fault had changed my personality in a negative manner. Since I held too firm in my belief, this came across as smothering, my emotions were not allowing her to breathe. During this entire time, I was clearly aware that she had a lot to manage each day. Liiving life at a stressfull level is hard to handle at times. Honest communication becomes beneficial only when one not just hears what the other is telling us, but we also make sure to listen too. Relationships take Time, Work, Patience, Understanding, and Communication. You can love a person as much as you want, but always be cognizant of how the other is receiving your love. Good intentions are always meant for the betterment of the relationship, but we must always be mindful in how it is delivered and received.

If there is anything in which I could teach anybody about Life, Relationships, History, and even Love – keep this in mind my friends. When relationships end, it is due to both individuals losing sight of what is most important… each other. Sometimes, the actions or stupid mistakes – will and can cause that partnership to end. There also is another fatal characteristic flaw within each of us. This most commonly overlooked flaw is by nature, the simplest to perfect within ourselves and encourage others to follow – COMMUNICATION! If Constructive, Respectful Communication breaks down – your relationship will inexorably end.

© 2017 Jeb Stuart Bensing

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