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An Ode to Indoor Pets

Updated on April 25, 2013

Indoor pets are here to stay

But I don't like them anyway

They strut and sway around the home

The dogs demand another bone

The cats will rub across your clothes

Deposit hair that tickles nose

They eat good food, better than we

Yet dogs still beg my food from me

The cats they have their many smells

I swear it eminates from some Hell

I cannot stand a smell like that

It comes from good food for that cat

Why do they sit and stare at me

When here I sit with book on knee

They pushed their way into this room

I can't help it if I must poo

They bark, meow, whine and mew

To get their way from me and you

At night they cuddle near our feet

Asleep like that they are so sweet

I guess per se they're not so bad

But still at times they make me mad

One whines, one barks, there in the dark

Another tries to leave his mark

Oh my I do love my wife so

But these animals have to go!


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    • Mr Archer profile image

      Mr Archer 4 years ago from Missouri

      Thank you dreamseeker2, glad you enjoyed it.

    • profile image

      dreamseeker2 4 years ago

      Cute poem! : ) Sometimes I feel that way about my kitties, but I am one who can't imagine being without them. Great work of poetry. Voted up!

    • Cantuhearmescream profile image

      Cat 4 years ago from New York

      Mr. Archer,

      Ha, would you believe me if I told you I'm not all that fond of cats? :-)

    • Mr Archer profile image

      Mr Archer 4 years ago from Missouri

      Cat, let 'er go! Thanks for enjoying my little whateveritwas. Thanks for the votes! By the way, how does a person named Cat end up with a dog??

      bravewarrior, indoor dogs aren't so bad, if you don't count the wandering around like our 18 year old Shi Tzu does. Sometimes, she just stands and zones out completely. But she is still kicking so we'll go on loving her.

      Becky, glad to hear you laugh. You need it. Love da puppy and it all gets better, doesn't it? It's impossible to be upset when my Lab Duckie is bouncing around and begging me to throw the stick or ball or training dummy, or just watching him pull on the rope we have hung in the tree for the kids to swing on. Pets make life Life, don't they?

    • shiningirisheyes profile image

      Shining Irish Eyes 4 years ago from Upstate, New York

      LOL! Very humorous! Although, I am grateful for the many pets over the years who have pulled me through some rough times. It is close ti impossible for me to feel sad when my dog is nudging me to play.

    • bravewarrior profile image

      Shauna L Bowling 4 years ago from Central Florida

      Too funny! I happen to have 3 indoor cats. No dogs - they're a total pain in the ass!

    • Cantuhearmescream profile image

      Cat 4 years ago from New York

      Mr Archer,

      Ah, is it here that I can let it all out? This was done so perfectly. I think even the biggest animal lovers can appreciate, yet relate to this. I am so impressed with how well it sounded and you managed to hit on so many good points. We are "blessed" with a dog... all I can say is, I understand!

      Up, Awesome and Funny


    • Peggy W profile image

      Peggy Woods 4 years ago from Houston, Texas

      Enjoyed this ode to your indoor pets. Voted up and funny. Ah yes...the cat hair in the does tickle! We have 2 cats and 1 dog at the present time. They certainly know how to "work" their humans for treats and such! Ha!

    • Mr Archer profile image

      Mr Archer 4 years ago from Missouri

      Thak you Miss Penny. We love our pets, both the indoor and outdoor variety. We too have deer, an occasional turkey, skunks, raccoons, bats, birds beyond decription, groundhogs, foxes, and once a bobcat. We have an indoor cat, an indoor/outdoor cat, two indoor dogs, and my Lab who resides both in and out. We have had the occasional feral cat take up residence but due to their rough early life we have not always been able to save them. But, we try.

      My lovely wife is an angel and loves animals far more than I do, but even though I pretend (at times!) to get upset I would not put any of them out. They are family, and sometimes family just gets on each others nerves!

      Thanks for enjoying my little poem and taking the time to comment. have a good day.

    • Pennypines profile image

      Lucille Apcar 4 years ago from Mariposa, California, U.S.A.

      Ah no, animals are such companions. I presently have a feral cat I call Igor, who I do not allow into the house, but he dominates my yard and gets a can of cat food daily. He also sleeps in my barn during bad weather. I did have small house dogs, but the last one (a corgi) died at 17 some years ago. But I have deer, wild turkeys, skunks, all sorts of wild birds and even some bats that I have to keep away from the house by hanging stockings full of mothballs. So there is no shortage of animal life here.