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An Ode to Loss
An Ode to Loss
By Tony DeLorger © 2012
She bowed her head, momentarily surrendering to those feelings,
loss, like a taut bandage, restricting the beat of her heart,
the heaviness almost impossible to endure,
and the darkness descending, enveloping her every sense and thought.
Her body was numb, her thoughts on fire,
and when pain reaches its zenith, there is an eerie serenity,
an empty and raw sense of solitude,
all functions in life on auto-pilot.
There were things to do, people to see, and smiles to manufacture,
kindnesses to acknowledge and air to breath,
yet pain is the centre and all that is touched is tarnished,
what action can erase, what thought dispel.
Touching her own hands was like stroking wood,
lifeless and hardened, lacking the suppleness of life,
and she realised how disconnected she was,
living in a capsule where time dissolved, was stuck.
Each time she tried to stand, the weight grew stronger,
and a sigh of acceptance left her lips,
emotions for all their power had dried up,
and shock had taken her thoughts, padded them like an antique in transit.
Tears were just out of reach and that's all she wanted,
to spew out this vile pain and purge herself of reality,
but she was incapable,
a shrivelled and singular frozen moment of time was all she experienced.
Closing her eyes she prayed for sweet oblivion,
for some peace of mind, lost in the clouds of dreams,
a temporary loss of memory that could somehow rejuvenate her,
give her the strength to go on.
But life is cruel, and until exhaustion could cut her down,
she'd remain in this purgatory state of torturous suffering,
realising what she'd lost, what had turned her life upside down,
and what she would never have again.