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An Ode to The Day After Labor Day

Updated on September 7, 2015

An Ode to the Day AFTER Labor Day

Another Labor Day's come and gone.

My wallet is emptied, the shopping's all done.

A brand new dinette set sits in the hall-

"Some assembly required". Just a little. That's all.

The instructions I fear are as clear as fresh mud.

The Chinese are laughing, "What's wrong with you, bud?"

In addition to words they've provided great pics-

Drawn by three-yr. olds, they're figures of sticks.

As my blood pressure rises, I dream of a day

When furniture’s built in a new, better way.

Like the Insta-Building in Meet the Robinsons

Or something futuristic straight out of The Jetsons.

I toil and I labor for hours on and on

I’m afraid both my strength and my patience are gone.

But finally it’s finished! Hooray and Wahoo!

No matter there’s a part left over or two!

In triumph I go get my sweet loving wife

To show her how manly’s the love of her life.

She takes a quick look then she shoots me a frown,

“My darling, is the table surface upside-down?”

Defeated, I slink to my man-cave in shame,

Once more put in my place by that beautiful dame.

But I’ll tackle that table again, just you wait!

And this time the legs of the chairs will be straight!


...maybe I’ll just leave it be. After all

The flaws in the set seem to me rather small.

I mean, who will notice the thing’s upside-down?

Is there a convention of furniture engineers in town?

And besides, I quite like how it looks upside-down.

It’s different. Unique! The other way ‘round

Would be just like everyone else’s you see.

How boring. How gauche. Such mediocrity.

I’ll just say to our guests when they come here to dine

That I meant to do it that way- it’s just fine.

I’m expressing the side of my brain that’s creative.

Even though to my wife the whole thing’s irritative.

So thus ends another adventure of labor

Brought about by that Monday we all try to savor

And instead go buy furniture just ‘cause it’s on clearance

Which results in mysterious spousal disappearance.

Stick Figure Completed Table, Top View.

The Finished Product! (Sorta.)
The Finished Product! (Sorta.)

Furniture Assembly Poll!

Have you ever had to put furniture together?

See results


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