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An Old Struggled Love

Updated on June 27, 2011

He sits and plays a true love song

While I frown he says tell me what’s wrong

I hate the things you do that’s what

You dance a smile with your strut

You have forgotten all you’ve done to me

While a picture you paint of me

Gifts and kisses you give to others

While searching for another baby’s mother

I do not understand the things you do

You leave my mind speechless with no clue

Is it a lost cause for me to think?

And carry all this burden and sink

Everything is fine when you’re not around

But when in sight I feel so low in the ground

Will I find the strength to forgive and forget?

Lighting the tip of my cigarette

Lifting the tab of my favorite beer

Hoping one day I will see love crystal clear

I know the answer to my very question asked

Which way to run, I ran very fast

When you said the three letter phrase

Holding me to my stormy haze

I don’t want to hear what you have to say

I wished for this day long time away

11 years for me too late

On my calendar I marked the date

I’m screaming from the inside out

Trying to find the words to shout

I wouldn’t dare to take that step back

To crash like two trains on the same track


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    • bellawritter23 profile image

      Erica Sanchez 6 years ago from California

      Astra, I totally agree with you. As humans we know no better than to notion with our hearts and believe what we feel and see. Not understanding or foreseeing the future and what it beholds thank you for stopping by and leaving your thoughts.


    • Astra Nomik profile image

      Cathy Nerujen 6 years ago from Edge of Reality and Known Space

      I never had the pain of that with a guy...but I have experienced it from others from way back. It is painful. How we separate ourselves from past loves is always tough. And it involves pain too. And love is always a risk, as there is always a chance of failure in any human endeavor. But we fall in love despite the dangers...because we are human... Great hub. Voted up. :)

    • bellawritter23 profile image

      Erica Sanchez 6 years ago from California

      Bella, lol sounds so funny ha ha. I think they are apparently ;) thanks for stopping by.

      Night, Love ahhhhhhhh that word see what it does to me lol jk. To forgive means to let go am I ready eyy maybe not maybe soon maybe one day!! Thanks bunches

      Writer, Thank you!!

      B., I thought so too but not so beautiful when around each other those were the days when I was Sighs**** in love (barf) lol thanks B.,

      Sally, I.N.D.E.P.E.N.D.E.N.T. Woo Hoo I earned my metal. I was never in 26 years never lived on my own or did anything on my own I left my grandmothers house at 18 then into his arms and he took care of me financially so now it has been the hardest thing ever Jinkies. Thanks all


    • Truckstop Sally profile image

      Truckstop Sally 6 years ago

      It sounds like you have learned to be independent and propser without him. Love can be so very complicated. Do take care of YOU.

      I love these lines - so visual and sensual too:

      Lighting the tip of my cigarette

      Lifting the tab of my favorite beer

    • b. Malin profile image

      b. Malin 6 years ago

      Oh Bella, what a Beautiful Couple you make...Great Picture...But your Poem really tells it like it is, sadly, but so very well said girlfriend.

    • writer20 profile image

      Joyce Haragsim 6 years ago from Southern Nevada

      A great poem.

    • nighthag profile image

      K.A.E Grove 6 years ago from Australia

      love is so rarely a simple thing, I could feel your pain and confusion pouring out of this poem, it can be hard thing to try and forgive, follow your heart but don't forget to listen to the advice of your head at the same time... Good luck!

    • Bella Nina profile image

      Bella Nina 6 years ago from USA

      God, are they all the same? That sounds so jaded. Maybe I am.

      Loved your poem Bella. I can feel it.

    • bellawritter23 profile image

      Erica Sanchez 6 years ago from California

      away I will fly I know the outcome but id rather write on it then act on it!! :D

    • Nikkij504gurl profile image

      Nikkij504gurl 6 years ago from Louisiana

      well just remember some things fall apart for better things to come together. It ended for a reason. Just follow your heart. do you really think he is changed? see his true colors Bella, away from what used to be.

    • bellawritter23 profile image

      Erica Sanchez 6 years ago from California

      Always, I dont know what to think I think I just know nothing else so it is just easier to refer to what was then to what is!!

      Nikki, lol that is too funny maybe I may a gree with you on them looking the same. hahahahah


    • Nikkij504gurl profile image

      Nikkij504gurl 6 years ago from Louisiana

      gah all assholes must look a like. he looks a lot like my ex mauricio that cheated on me seven ways from sunday, or whatever that little saying is. lol

    • always exploring profile image

      Ruby Jean Fuller 6 years ago from Southern Illinois

      Beautiful Bella, All i can say is to follow your heart, sometimes people change, sometimes they don't. Best wishes Dear heart.


    • bellawritter23 profile image

      Erica Sanchez 6 years ago from California

      Shygirl, He struggled love is the ex husband and again he falls into telling me he loves me and to come home. I cannot forgive him quite yet. I think our past hinders what could possibly be. Idk if to just not talk to him period or just allow him to help mend his actions? Tough tough and tough....Thanks again this picture was taken in 2003. I was 21 years old sheesh a while ago I feel so old now!! lol


    • profile image

      shygirl2 6 years ago

      Great poem and beautiful picture, bella. : ) I can see your true heart through what you write. Someone struggling to do what's right, knowing some love's are better left untouched, no matter how much it may hurt.