An Open Letter: Dearest Mama
Being far away from home especially on Mother's Day, I miss my ma the most.
This hub is an open letter for my ma but to be shared to the world to let her know that I miss her so much and loving her from the other side of the globe! ♥
In a room full of hot lamps, your conscious cries weakly echoed through the walls. The painful strikes were hard to bear racing with time, your strength was strong in hopes for a beautiful girl. Your sweat rolled down your forehead and met with your tears as you force in labour a new life you brought to this world. I was the new life that gasped for the first breath of air, the tiny cry from a fragile girl that made you and papa smile.
You had the most horrifying scare in your life, you had told me. You were at the City Hall carrying me in your arms when someone alerted you that papa had been stabbed at work. You were struck with fear and dazed. You passed the baby that was in your arms to a total stranger and dashed through the heavy doors. Both our guardian angels were watching and led me to Grandma who was then an employee at the City Hall. She learnt about the commotion and recognized that the baby cradled by the stranger was me. God is Great; He spared papa a second life! And I was back in your arms!
You were with me all the time, holding my hand. I had big round eyes and a round little face and you’ve told me that I looked like an apple. Haha, that was really funny! My dresses were very short during my time that my panties were hanging, but you picked them in pastel colours for me. My aunt in New York sent pretty colourful good ole Goody barrettes and you love to neatly braid my soft hair with them. My favourite shoe ever was a white pair with several buckles. I love those shoes until now, mama. I am glad you have a picture of me in those shoes. As I was growing up, I remember how you dressed me and my brothers into wearing similar striped t-shirts and blue jeans, even with our red and blue rubber shoes! Did I ever look like a little tomboy! My tiny sis donned pigtails was the only one wearing tiny dresses since she is the youngest and blue jeans wouldn’t be cute on her. My plastic barrettes were soon passed on to her too.
Memories...Click thumbnail to view full-size
"I L♥ve You"
On Sundays after church, I had tagged along to the city market with you. One hot day out at the Carbon Market in my dark denim jumpers and white knee socks, I cried for not being able to find you while you were bargaining for vegetables from one vendor to the next. I have my fear of chickens and I was at the same time avoiding to seeing them underneath the huge upside down baskets where their heads were poking through the holes. I think the desperate chickens were staring at me, yew! Strangers gathered around me and asked if I was lost. “No.” I replied worriedly. “My mama is lost.” I quickly added. A kind woman asked me if I knew my way home. “Yes.” I confidently acknowledged. I think I was grade V that time then. She looked into her purse and gave me some change for the jeepney fare. I was still sobbing and thanked her. I moved back to the spot where you and I last stood and gazed left and right for you. Then, out of nowhere or I guess just there, you stood up! You were down to the vendors’ baskets on the ground to select from the farm fresh produce. That was why I did not see you. For the right time and spot, I was just standing behind you. I thought I lost you. You laughed because you thought that I was being silly; and I laughed still in tears. You gave me a tight hug and we proceeded for home. The kind woman was gone, so I got to keep the change in my pocket!
You had taught me right and wrong. The dos and don’ts. To be polite and to be humble. To be thrifty and to learn how to save. You provided us each with ceramic piggy banks, painted with flowers on them. They were the best piggy banks ever and I had the biggest one! I learned to tend a store when you put me on guard to watch it while you take your rest for a nap, until one day, our neighbour came to you and told you that I was giving him free stuff from your store when he comes to buy. You had advised me that they are not “free” items. I was too shy to charge my male friends and I do not know why. Sorry. I knew it was silly and stupid at the same time, perhaps I only thought of it after you were not pleased of me watching your store.
I enjoyed the little pastime each time you asked me to pull out your white hair since I was collecting small earnings from you. You would fall asleep from its comfort; and to me, it was an easy task to get paid. What was that before? Five centavos per strand of hair? I was richer come every weekend and I saved my earnings into my piggy bank.
Presents for the neighbourhood childrenClick thumbnail to view full-size
The Christmas Spirit of Giving
"I L♥ve You, Mama."
Two months early and before everyone in the city gets frantic and rushing for Christmas shopping, you do your preparation ahead in your own convenient days. It brings you joy as you eagerly and excitedly open the door-to-door boxes I send to you. Inside the boxes, you select the hand-me-down items carefully and wrap them with the holiday wrappers you have shopped early on. The gathering of happy children and their mothers await for the gift distribution. I am proud for what you do filling many little hearts with joy each year.
Your mail: Letters, pictures, news, drawings, clippings of jokes
"I L♥ve You
My blooming years were never left unattended by you. You had watered me with love and wisdom and calmed me not to be frightened to face my suitors. You had been open and eager to listen to my stories, excited in every way as you taught me to be honest and not hide secrets from you. I had willingly shared my love letters with you to learn from you what you think of them. You and papa had guided me through and had treated them all with kindness.
Mama, you have never tired of writing me letters and mailing them to Canada. Your letters are long and humble. Your penmanship I proudly admire. They are still written on lined yellow papers inside the red, white and blue airmail envelopes. Year after year, you knew that the stamps were getting more expensive but it does not hinder you from sending me letters. Enclosed are still cut-outs of funny jokes and quotations from your local newspapers. You have me updated with the politics back home and headlines from your newspaper clippings. I have very well kept your letters and mail for years since 1993!
Mama, I want you to know that distance does not keep us at all apart. We are bound as one in our hearts. We share the same road as you have always pointed your directions toward me in the past and the present. You shared lovingly and taught cautiously what I should expect of motherhood when my time comes. Indeed, you got me prepared and I was not fearful at all for the path that I had chosen starting my own family. You handed me a tiny red velvet pouch with a yellow pull-string you had placed in my right palm to clasp when I was in the labour room. You were there all the time for me, seeing you through the glass windows. You reminded me to pray to the Sto. Nino that was inside the pouch to ease me and give me a smooth labour and a healthy baby. Sto. Nino heard my prayers and came my first daughter, your first grandchild. She was the most beautiful form from God’s miracle of human life. It was also the greatest feeling to see you and papa become grandparents. Up to now, you care for both of my girls and me as we see and talk to each other via long distance, the present road that connects us to the same directions. Your letters are still coming.
A mother I am too.
"I L♥ve You always."
You brought me into this world and stood by me though there were many times that I had made you cry. We had our own misunderstandings as I was growing up following my stubborn ways. I had hurt you so many times and I was wrong to do that to you. The tears, misunderstandings and stubbornness were the contributing factors of my growing up and because of these, I am ready to understand and take the same attitudes from my own growing children. But you had always been patient with me and ever forgiving. We both developed a heart-of-stone, but we managed to crush this into pieces, then, we became best of friends again.
Mama, you are very dear to me.
I love you. Happy Mother’s Day!
Love, Tess ♥
"A mother's heart always has room for a little kindness, a little more understanding and a little more love."
≈ ♥ ≈ © coffeegginmyrice "An Open Letter: Dearest Mama" 13.May.2012
Show "Mother" You Love Her
"Ma, remember when you were cooking in the kitchen, I was there to help you and had the radio turned on. It was a sad day for you that day when the news of Elvis Presley's sudden death was over the news. You cried. I was thirteen and looked at you surprised. You tried to look away and hide your tears but I laughed and teased you. Then, you started telling me the rest of your favourite stars like James Dean, Gene Kelly and Marlon Brando. Glad you didn't burn the food!" ♥
Ma, this is for you...