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An Open and Shut Case of Bad Temper

Updated on March 6, 2015
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As we walk hand-in-hand along a winding trail,

Unseen sights will soon remarkably unveil,

The cool clear water at Conscience Bridge

Is down the road yonder and over the ridge.


I’ve seen the ghost of the legend and know it well

And in the background peals the parish church bell.

May it all save us from grace then and now,

As I wipe cold sweat from my furrowed brow.


The brazen sea eagle flies northward, you see,

It’s a caricature for some in otherworld potpourri;

When you take my hand and the weather changes,

The earth opens up and the future rearranges.


Our lives flash before us and time stands still

The wind picks up violently for a nonplussed chill.

The skies take on a seemingly fiendish feel

The air smells strongly of brimstone and steel.


My trusty cudgel in my white knuckled hand

Doesn’t help in the view of the tumultuous land,

Where is my courage in the middle of the day?

Trouble is brewing in the village today.


Then before my incredulous eyes

Old Scratch appears, to tell no lies.

His breath beckons fire in no uncertain terms

The smell of pestilence is rightly confirmed.


He booms, “Come with me, your time is now,

You’ll be on my ship, right on the prow.”

Little did he know, my temper is riled,

Dark for some, others violently wild.


And he was the fool who dared ruin my day!

“You’re in my way, man, stay out of my way!”

His sharp-toothed grin turned to face me and survey

His apparent mistake was more than risqué.


I despise the color of red and a snakelike tail

This combination makes my reasoning curtail

Had he asked me kindly to go for a sail

My mood would have been better on the dusty trail.


He and I clearly didn’t see eye-to-eye

For I and my mate were not prepared to die.

I raised my stick like a sorcerer bold,

And blew that fool out of this world.


May he learn his lesson now and forever

Don’t mess with a Scot before his fine dinner.

And if he has a bad temper,

Avoid altogether.

© 2015 Deb Hirt

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    • aviannovice profile image
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      Deb Hirt 21 months ago from Stillwater, OK

      Well, thankee, bodylevive...lots more where that came from.

    • bodylevive profile image

      BODYLEVIVE 21 months ago from Alabama, USA

      Hi there, nice to meet you. I've enjoyed reading your poem.

    • aviannovice profile image
      Author

      Deb Hirt 23 months ago from Stillwater, OK

      And I thank you, Lee, as well.

    • profile image

      Lee Cloak 23 months ago

      Brilliant, really enjoyable, a great piece of writing, voted up, thanks, Lee

    • aviannovice profile image
      Author

      Deb Hirt 2 years ago from Stillwater, OK

      Thanks, ps. I couldn't resist doing this.

    • pstraubie48 profile image

      Patricia Scott 2 years ago from sunny Florida

      Uhhuh my Uncle was a Scotsman and he could a bit of temper from time to time but never with me, thank goodness.

      Well done...interesting from beginning to end.

      Voted up++++ and shared

      Angels are on the way to you today ps

    • aviannovice profile image
      Author

      Deb Hirt 2 years ago from Stillwater, OK

      Thanks for the shares and everything, Kevin. I think it will give everyone a good chuckle.

    • The Examiner-1 profile image

      The Examiner-1 2 years ago

      Yay for the Scots! That was something Deb, I loved it! I voted almost all the way across the board and shared it and Tweeted it.

      Kevin

    • aviannovice profile image
      Author

      Deb Hirt 2 years ago from Stillwater, OK

      Hey, Deergha! All is well in these parts, including locating the Tree of Life, hosting many bird species all at the same time...can you IMAGINE such a thing? I was totally flabbergasted and in awe.

    • dghbrh profile image

      deergha 2 years ago from ...... a place beyond now and beyond here !!!

      My God Deb..this is out standing....awesome really ...to capture the striking fun ingredient with a total different subject about bad temper..hats off my friend. Thank you for this wonderful poem.

      You are not just SLIGHTLY versatile....you are indeed very versatile, my talented friend.

      Take care and I hope you are doing great

      Many warm hugs your way.

      Deergha

    • aviannovice profile image
      Author

      Deb Hirt 2 years ago from Stillwater, OK

      Glad that you liked it ChitrangadaSharan, it was all meant to be in humor. We must laugh as much as possible these days, for the healing effects.

    • ChitrangadaSharan profile image

      Chitrangada Sharan 2 years ago from New Delhi, India

      Interesting poem and nice narration!

      What a wonderful way to tell about bad temper, with an element of humor!

      Great expressions! Voted up!

    • aviannovice profile image
      Author

      Deb Hirt 2 years ago from Stillwater, OK

      Alicia, glad that you gt a kick out of it, many people have.

    • AliciaC profile image

      Linda Crampton 2 years ago from British Columbia, Canada

      This is an interesting poem with great description, Deb. I love the ending!

    • aviannovice profile image
      Author

      Deb Hirt 2 years ago from Stillwater, OK

      Thanks, Gypsy Rose Lee. I never know what my pen will whisper in my ear.

    • aviannovice profile image
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      Deb Hirt 2 years ago from Stillwater, OK

      Hey, Chris, I'm still chortling over the old boy. It takes spunk, you know?

    • aviannovice profile image
      Author

      Deb Hirt 2 years ago from Stillwater, OK

      Well, Chris, ou never know what will come up at Conscience Bridge, where a murderer was killed in Cairneyhill, Dunfermline, Fife, Scotland.

    • cam8510 profile image

      Chris Mills 2 years ago from St. Louis, MO until the end of June, 2017

      Deb, I commented on this last night, but apparently didn't hit the post button squarely.

      So, Old Scratch tucked his tail and ran, huh? I guess her "You're in my way, man," did the trick. Nice job here Deb. Loved it.

    • Gypsy Rose Lee profile image

      Gypsy Rose Lee 2 years ago from Riga, Latvia

      Voted up and awesome. Incredible creativity. Applause and passing this on.

    • cam8510 profile image

      Chris Mills 2 years ago from St. Louis, MO until the end of June, 2017

      You got the old boy to tuck his snake like tail and run, didn't you?

      "You're in my way, man, get out of my way." Great line.

      Well done, Deb. Up and Awesome.

    • aviannovice profile image
      Author

      Deb Hirt 2 years ago from Stillwater, OK

      Hey, magnetite! Thanks so much for reading and seeing my warped sense of humor.

    • manatita44 profile image

      manatita44 2 years ago from london

      More and more awesome! Brilliant!

    • aviannovice profile image
      Author

      Deb Hirt 2 years ago from Stillwater, OK

      Hey, Anna! Well, you know, it just came over me, what can I say?

    • Anna Haven profile image

      Anna Haven 2 years ago from Scotland

      Well what can I say. Us Scots are indeed a spirited lot. :)

      Humorous words for a Friday.

    • aviannovice profile image
      Author

      Deb Hirt 2 years ago from Stillwater, OK

      Hey, Kim! So glad that you like it. It was fun to put together, too.

    • klidstone1970 profile image

      இڿڰۣ-- кιмвєяℓєу 2 years ago from Niagara Region, Canada

      Outstanding, Deb. This is one of my favourites without a doubt.

    • aviannovice profile image
      Author

      Deb Hirt 2 years ago from Stillwater, OK

      Thanks so much, Cris...I attribute it to the silly side of me.

    • CrisSp profile image

      CrisSp 2 years ago from Sky Is The Limit Adventure

      Awesome hub. Truly enjoyable!

    • aviannovice profile image
      Author

      Deb Hirt 2 years ago from Stillwater, OK

      Hey, Mel! There, see? You have fiendish weather to deal with, so I still can salute you.

    • Mel Carriere profile image

      Mel Carriere 2 years ago from San Diego California

      A splendid narrative poem. The air around here always has a fiendish feel - I like that line. Great hub!

    • aviannovice profile image
      Author

      Deb Hirt 2 years ago from Stillwater, OK

      Thanks, John. I was just in one of those moods to do something lighthearted.

    • Jodah profile image

      John Hansen 2 years ago from Queensland Australia

      An interesting and well written poem Deb, but what I liked most was it was funny and I needed a laugh. Voted up.

    • aviannovice profile image
      Author

      Deb Hirt 2 years ago from Stillwater, OK

      Hey, Sha! Many tempers are not to be reckoned with, especially a complaining stomach.

    • bravewarrior profile image

      Shauna L Bowling 2 years ago from Central Florida

      Excellent, Deb! Don't mess with a fiery temper, especially a woman with a fiery temper!

    • aviannovice profile image
      Author

      Deb Hirt 2 years ago from Stillwater, OK

      (grinning) Hey, Billy! I just could NOT resist with my playful mood.

    • aviannovice profile image
      Author

      Deb Hirt 2 years ago from Stillwater, OK

      Hey, Jackie! Glad that you like my warped humor in this one...

    • billybuc profile image

      Bill Holland 2 years ago from Olympia, WA

      You know how much I appreciate your poetry, Deb, and you didn't disappoint with this one.

    • Jackie Lynnley profile image

      Jackie Lynnley 2 years ago from The Beautiful South

      That Irish temper for sure! hahaha

      Great little poem that is about as true as it is funny!

      ^+

    • aviannovice profile image
      Author

      Deb Hirt 2 years ago from Stillwater, OK

      Mary, I'm just slightly versatile.

    • tillsontitan profile image

      Mary Craig 2 years ago from New York

      There's many a Scot laughing at this. How dare he buck the Scot and raise his temper, especially before dinner, he learned the price.

      Deb your talents are truly amazing....from romantic to this without the blink of an eye!

      Voted up, funny, awesome, and interesting.

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