And There I found HIM
It was 12 a.m. and I was lying in my bed with eyes fixed at the ceiling and feeling of constantly being torn between being too strong and too fragile. There was this strong piece of iron inside me that was rusting. The tears were rolling down my cheeks and I was as numb as ice. I was just recalling the past few years of my life and trying to figure out what was the Purpose of my creation? There would not be any difference in anybody's life if I wasn't born! At that very moment I was the most fragile girl with messed up thoughts; I wanted to scream loud, wanted to cry, I wanted to run away! Meanwhile everything turned dark and I went to some new world, this ceiling of my room was not visible to me anymore.
This was some other world maybe, there was no one there but Me. I could see the mountains around me, the cool wind blowing the branches of beautiful trees and the lovely flowers with their fragrance were adding more to that mesmerizing view. And I was standing all alone in middle of that valley.
I looked around and felt like I was free to be whatever I wanted to be there was no one around, I didn't need to pretend as a strong Lady. I fell on my knees and started crying and I cried as there was no earth, no sky, not a single being but me. I cried to the extent where I felt like my throat was about to burst and my heart just stopped beating and the fire inside my stomach was now all over my body. And all of a sudden a sweet wind blew and I felt it like kissing my cheek soothingly; there was this love in her touch like if someone was asking me "If everything is alright?" I started talking and told it the way I felt, I talked about everything and there wasn't any judgmental ears and eyes around me or the hypocrite shoulders which apparently seems to give you support but deep inside laughs at your helplessness!
Then there were those gentle branches of trees who started to lean over me and took me in their arms just like a mother takes her few years old baby and whispers; "Don't be afraid, I'm here". I just again started crying like a baby, while sobbing I fell asleep in those arms hearing the sweet lullaby of blowing wind.
When I woke up after hours everything was new. There wasn't anymore burden on my soul, fire in my heart, rust in my body not any pain. I was free. And in that lap every flower, every blowing wind showered love upon me. That wasn't any simple love that was "HIS" love. The one who has created these flowers, blowing winds, mountains and who has created me! And in creations I was able to find HIM, feel HIM. I was just like a newborn who just came out of his Mother's womb. Pure, free and calm. And in that calm I found the answer to that question THE PURPOSE OF CREATION? It was to find HIM (the creator). The peace and calm resides in finding HIM.
And then I just heard this voice in my ears saying; "COME TO SUCCESS, COME TO SUCCESS!". The moment I opened my eyes that same ceiling was there but now it was not as dark as it was before, my body instead of burning was shivering with cold and sweat. But yes there was not that burden and fire inside me I was free, and in that one night I found my answer which was lying in finding HIM.
AND THERE I FOUND HIM SO CLOSE, EVEN MORE CLOSER THAN THE JUGULAR VEIN!!