And that is why
What this is
Ok to be honest. I do not know how to explain this one. It just proves once more my mind is a scary place. This was written in early 2010 by the way.
And that is why
Joe’s wife opened the door, shouting “Happy anniversary!”
She had what appeared to be a golf club, by my guess a driver, in lime-green wrapping paper. Joe looked up from the stool he was sitting on. The house was a war zone. The furniture was in pieces and partly burnt with bullet holes in all the walls. Everything was soaked while backyard’s above-ground pool was cut to shreds. There was even snow piled on the table.
“Anniversary?” Joe whimpered.
But, before his wife could even yell, Joe leapt and covered her mouth and started to explain.
“Ok, I forgot our Anniversary but I have an excuse….. When I woke up this morning, you had already gone to work so, I went down stairs and wanted some coffee, but the coffee you made when you got up was cold. I poured it in my cup and nuked it but the damn microwave blew after I hit the button. The flames were huge and they caught the paper towels. I tried to pick them up but I dropped it and it rolled into the living room. I ran outside to find help, but bumped into a guy with the chainsaw. He chases me into the backyard and started cutting up our pool. All the water then flowed into the house and when I looked back, the crazy guy was gone. I walked back inside and there was this psycho hunter, in full camo, shooting at this midget in a green suit….”
Joe’s wife forced his hand off her mouth and my guess is was she wanted Joe to burst in to flames as the microwave did. She then said, “Now try explaining the snow.”
“O, love of my life…”
“Explain the damn snow!” She yelled.
“Hun I was about to do that… ok um well that little green guy started shooting ice rays and well…. Hey where ya going?”
Joe’s wife stormed out and he followed. When all was quiet, I got out of the closet putting my green hat on and retrieved my gold from the microwave only to arrive late at the leprechaun convention. I tell you O’Brian it was one hell of a day.