A Girl's First Love?
Another Monday Morning
My stomach turns as I dread the day
Classes await down the hallway
Vision blurs from lack of sleep
Do I regret seeing the night so deep
Wishing for nine hours later
When going home makes me better!
Legs become weaker as walls cave in
Huge shadows devouring from within
Eccentric circles begin forming
When do I start running?
Cowered in fear I close my eyes
Saying little prayers to save my life
Then blinding lights struck me so quick
I'm almost there as I peek
Approaching rooms I hear familiar voices
Making my heart run different races
He turns my way with smiling eyes
Baring his soul’s enchanting gaze
Truly madly I am amazed!
But quickly I recover from my daze
Hiding eye bugs with beating heart
Dashed to my seat for safety
While holding the memory so dearly
Once facing Monday lessons
I start to count the hours
Down to the last when I have to leave
Yet my memory still can’t believe
How Mondays are made to be!
The Story Behind...
Ten years of Monday mornings in school brings back a nostalgia for the young girl in me. She is so intimidated by the mere walls and ceilings of school, yet she is so thrilled to see that boy who makes her heart flutter. Funny how she wishes for Monday mornings to end, but years later only to find herself going back to that hallway and happily dreaming of love.
In life, there were many other love opportunities that came, but I never let myself freely love another person. Perhaps I am still that girl, afraid, conscious and constantly hiding her true feelings. Maybe I never felt that same kind of intensity and thrill I felt before. It was something that I was always looking for in relationships. I went on dates but they were flat. I kissed different guys but they were meaningless. Those school encounters aren’t exactly confirmed love meetings, but to me, they are priceless sparks of emotions.
In my culture, women marry before their thirties or they are deemed as lacking. Romance has been nonexistent in my adult life and therefore, I am one of those ‘lacking’ women. I do not quite agree with that, but sometimes I do feel pressured. Those Monday mornings are my safe haven as I feel comforted going back to those days. Reminiscing Monday mornings opens a door to my heart and it’s sort of a routine to check whether I’m capable of feeling love, excitement and the works. I believe that love will come and find me, but I just missed all the feelings that Monday mornings bring.