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Are You Better Then Me?

Updated on December 25, 2010

And So It Goes......

I decided to write on this very festive holiday. After an amazing morning with my two very happy children, i started to think about how many people may have had a hard time this holiday season. I know for a fact that many of my friends had a hard year. It may be at different levels, it may be someone famous, it may be your next door neighbor. Some people will never let you know and some people are at ease with the change. Not many are though. I don't know many people that will be truthful about their circumstances. Sad really cause just imagine how much little things can help. Even if you could do something to help a family and make their holiday better cause of the love you share. Just little things can make a huge difference.

Little Things...

The reason why I decided to write this is because the class situation in Britain has sort of become an issue in my home lately. It is very strange to understand this way of thinking. I experienced it quite a bit when I lived in the UK for a year from 2007-2008. I spent a lot of time in the nicest places, my kids were in the "best schools," and and I frequented some of the hottest spots there. Many years ago I partied in Liverpool and ofcourse enjoyed the history there. Especially when it came to The Beatles. I was in awe like any American would be who loves music. Liverpool is not considered a very nice place. It is in the North, but I never noticed it. Afterall I grew up in very humble beginnings in Hollywood before my father ever moved me to one of the nicest places in Los Angeles to live. I eventually bought my own house there too, but felt that it had become a very shallow place and I refused to raise my children there. And so I moved them to a small town where they can be kids and not have to remember celebrities names for conversation or pretend that they are someone they are not. I'm not bitter about it, I just grew up there and it is a very hard place to grow up in especially if you are a young women. I would not recommend raising children in Los Angeles. This is just my opinion. Everyone has one.

Since I am in the music business, I have many friends and relations from different parts of Europe. I deal with a lot of different people in Britain. Some musicians and close relations I know come from the North or various other parts in England. I guess it would be like either living in downtown Los Angeles or Malibu. Everyone has their likes and dislikes. The point I'm bringing here is this.

What Makes You better then Me? Infact, what makes you better then anyone?

When I was a child, my father was pretty well known but he never rubbed anything in anyones face. He was always kind to everyone from all walks of life. He helped people and saved many people from financial ruin. He came from a really poor background and was a self made man and eventually wrote many hit songs and he raised me after my mother died at a young age. He never had a flashy car and he designed and built his home in a very affluent neighborhood eventually. But he did it his own humble way and eventually he was very happy with what he had achieved. He said that the best part of writing such beautiful songs is that he will know when he leaves this earth that the songs will never be forgotten. Like he had left his stamp and love on future generations. Beautiful really.

My point is it is great if you have a lot of money, nice cars and big homes, but do you do anything for others? Do you spend your day only thinking of yourself? If you don't then I have NO interest in you as a person. Nomatter how rich or famous you are. Nomatter where you come from or how privileged your background was? As far as I'm concerned, you are a waste of space.

In America, people seem to compete with materialistic objects, but I never felt the prejudice that I felt when I was in England. I was living in the South in Sussex and I'm very close to someone who grew up in the "old school boys tie" club. His social views on people from the North are very cruel. I mention the Beatles but it does not seem to change the pitiful parts of the conversation and the many insults about people he does not know. It's as if anyone who lives far from Sussex or London is worthless. Sad really. It's like me saying, I will never hang out with anyone in Los Angeles unless they come from Beverly Hills, Malibu or Santa Barbara. Really?

This makes me wonder in this new economy how everyone is coping? I know many people who have lost millions of dollars and can now no longer afford to eat. I know people who haven't found work in years and have had to reach out because they have no choice. I'm not even sure where they all came from? Different part of LA or "out of state?" Who the hell cares!!!!!!!! Some of these people only frequented situations with well off people with big houses and expensive cars. Or they hung with people in the entertainment business who could further their expensive lives. I wonder how they are turning down invites now? I wonder how they are dealing with such change and saving face with people who value nothing but themselves and what they have?

I will end this article with a few points and words of wisdom. Atleast I hope that my words do something here. Afterall that is why I write! Remember "what goes up, must come down." The point is NEVER go up to where you think you are too good for everyone. Reach out and help others. Take some extra time away from your iphone and make a difference in someones life. And then if you ever DO FALL, you will know deep down in your heart that you made a difference. I don't know about you, but isn't that what life is about? Your neighbor with the big beautiful house next door? Have you seen them around? Well they may be in a crisis. Take some flowers or homemade cake next door. Can you love someone? Can you find it in yourself? DO something!


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    • GPAGE profile imageAUTHOR


      8 years ago from California

      James...Very interesting to hear more about you and the way you grew up. Times are very different now, this is a fact. I appreciate your comment and I understand what you are saying. I originally grew up in a very small house with an amazing father and loving grandmother from the South who taught me to be kind to everyone. I eventually moved to a very affluent neighborhood in my teens so I was fortunate enough to learn what "real is." If you knew my circle of friends, you would be surprised at the different backgrounds and life paths they all have lived. Male and female. It is too bad that people are so alone these days. I write from my heart here and reach out to people because I care about all sorts of people who touch me in some way. Any way. So nice to see you here James. G

    • James McV Sailor profile image

      James J Mills 

      8 years ago from Northern California

      Our society has lost its empathy... I'm not sure why, but I suspect that some of that loss is because our politicians and government have convinced us with their campaign promises that THEY will take care of everyone, and so we don't need to care, and we don't.... and the wealthy, most of whom have only suceeded from the hard work of their employees have been made to believe that they are somehow "kings of industry"... special, endowed, and therefore more deserving, in fact so deserving that they don't care either or even recognize how they suceeded - Success does not make you better than others, in fact perhaps it makes you more responsible, it puts you in a position of leadership and responsibility that most "successful" people today have forgotten or perhaps just ignore. They create jobs - but only IF they get tax breaks. They pay taxes - but only IF they get subsidies. And even when times are good they have no compunction with replacing people with technology. Even our so called charities today do not really focus on UP-lifting people they are designed to maintain the status quo, keep the poor down.... give a man a fish, not teach him to fish, in fact don't let him go fishing.

      I grew up on a very large ranch in Northern California, it was in our family for more than three generations. We lived in the BIG house, next to my cousins in the not so big house, next to my grandfather in the REALLY BIG house. When I was a boy we had our own general store at the ranch and we sold everything at COST to our employees (the gov told us we needed to pay tax on the profit we gave away). 25 or 30 working families lived in houses we provided (the gov told us we needed to pay tax for that value we gave them also), and our bunkhouse boarded and fed as many as 100 more workers during harvest (more taxes were due). We were the "patrons", my dad was the boss, and VERY successful, but he never forgot and taught me at a young age who made us that way... the workers.... without them we would have had nothing. I started working on the ranch for the same wage as the other men when I was 14, went to school with the kids, ate in their homes, and they in ours.... we learned to respect each other, not because of what we had or could do, but simply for who we were and what we did, individuals, people, friends, neighbors,and none of us was ever considered better or worse than the other. Perhaps that was the answer - "respect"... we seem to have lost that today, and with it went the empathy I guess.

      America was the great melting pot, a land of equals with equal opportunity for all, at least in its original concept, not like the "class" societies of Europe and GB that most of our forfathers fled from, but it is becoming more like that old "class" society more each day now with the divides between people deeper and harder than ever. Here's an interesting hypothesis I have been dwelling on recently..... one guy with a billion dollars will not contribute as much to society as 10,000 people with 100,000 dollars (do the math) !!!??

      Thanks for your caring and thoughts. JM

    • GPAGE profile imageAUTHOR


      8 years ago from California

      viryabo! My "heart sister!" Thank you so much for your lovely words and always being here. I feel a sort of peace when I see you here and read your kind and loving words. I grew up around very compassionate people and I hope to teach my children the same values so that one day they can reach out too. They do sometimes but they are still very young. I have them collect things that they no longer need like clothes and toys and we take them to a shop that helps people. I worried a lot for many people this holiday season. I know that it is extremely difficult for many right now. I pray that next year will bring better opportunities for everyone. Thank you always....G

    • GPAGE profile imageAUTHOR


      8 years ago from California

      rebekah...thank you so much for your loving words. I'm so happy that you are here. I have been reaching out to quite a few people lately and balancing my own life too..I was fortunate to learn how to help people from the women in my family who taught me this very valuable gift when I was a child. Let us keep helping little by little. Best, G

    • viryabo profile image


      8 years ago

      There is a warm kind of satisfaction when you make a difference in someone's minute, day, week, or sometimes, even life.

      When you look into some peoples eyes, though they may appear 'bubbly' and happy, you may see pain or sadness. I have seen that look many times these days. And even though we may be swamped with our own challenges, we must try to reach out to them.

      In doing that it also eases our own mind's troubles. So it's really a two way beneficial feeling. And it also boils down to love for our fellow beings.

      When we show love and compassion we know that we aren't better than anyone. I wish the human race could be taught from a young age that the more we love and care, the more God showers us with his love and care.

      Thanks for this beautiful piece at this appropriate time of the year.

      Blessings & a happy new year to you and your family my friend.

    • rebekahELLE profile image


      8 years ago from Tampa Bay

      beautiful. all any of us can consider success is when we reach that place in our hearts when we have made someone's life just a little bit better by our words or selfless presence in their lives, even if only for a few moments.

      money can't ever replace true human compassion that extends a loving hand to someone in need.

      I enjoyed reading your words, thanks for sharing.

    • GPAGE profile imageAUTHOR


      8 years ago from California

      Hey IV! Thank you so much for being such a wonderful friend! We are both part of the BIG HEART family! I will email you something on my fathers music..Best, G

    • IslandVoice profile image

      Sylvia Van Velzer 

      8 years ago from Hawaii

      It's Christmas day, and this is my first read. It once more confirms the heart of a person i consider one of my best friend finds in this wide virtual world. I agree with you 200%, and i am just so happy that you live what you preach. Let's make a difference! Thanks for sharing bits of your life. Now curious about your dad's music.


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