ArtsAutosBooksBusinessEducationEntertainmentFamilyFashionFoodGamesGenderHealthHolidaysHomeHubPagesPersonal FinancePetsPoliticsReligionSportsTechnologyTravel

Are or Ah!

Updated on February 7, 2015


Here I give a short quote from a letter I received from someone whose understanding of the English language is pretty much the same as the rest of the population of this country; the land of Shakespeare, Milton, Wodehouse, Milne, Browning and Wordsworth… to name just a few. Unfortunately we, unlike most of the people in this world, neither know the structure nor the working of our language.

“Are, the Luxury of Solace and of Verse.

Also, of Peace of Mind when One can enter such a State”.

Short Lecture, delivered by the Poet Laureate

or its alternative title

Ah

“Are,” he says, “the luxury of solace and of verse,”

And peace of mind when entering such a state”.

He thus, I think, endeavours to convey

An idealistic argument of weight;

A deeply philosophical attempt

To so promote a Plato-esque debate.

And with, one sees, a-clustered round his knee,

Young Neophytes of varying tonal shade,

Perhaps a grade five from the Lebanon;

A Turkish lad, from paler pallet played;

Sub Continental youths with darker hue;

But each a manly figure, strongly made.


And all this host of nubile youth intent,

Absorbed disciples hanging on each word

He starts with, “Are, the luxury of so…”

But before he can continue, there is heard

A snigger from a Neophyte, and then

A giggle from a second, then a third.

“You can’t use are in that context,” says one

“The word you seek is Ah, an interjection”.

“That’s right,” another rises to explain,

Are is a verb; Ah, an exclamation”.

One lad makes clear that “Ah! no, Blah Blah Blah…”,

Works as well as “Oh! no…” in application.


A swarthy lad says, “Take care where you use

An Ah or are as one is not the other;

The words you use are really homophones,

So can’t be juxtaposed, one for another”.

“Would you accept our help,” one lad enquires;

“Say if you’d rather not, or if you’d rather”.

An Arab lad with thinly veiled disdain,

Explains linguistics and vernacular;

Presenting nice examples of the sounds

That make the English tongue peculiar.

“A doctor peering down one’s throat requires

That one says Aaaaaa... But never Ah or are.”


The Poet Laureate begins to squirm;

Discerning, now, the tables have been turned.

Those winsome lads he’d wanted to impress

Know more, much more, than ever he has learned

And knowing more than he, his mother tongue,

Show where linguistic bridges have been burned.

And still example follows paradigm;

A plethora of quotes from here and there

“Ergo, Beware when writing plural ares

Take care. Juxtaposed letters give you arse.”

And, very tongue in cheek another states,

“P. G. Wodehouse simply wrote it as an R”.


Our Poet Laureate now hangs his head;

At once the teacher has become the taught.

Where he contrived by words to so impress

Potential Neophytes, whom he had thought

Would hang upon his lips, his negligence

Of English have his aspirations brought to naught.

Comments

    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment

    • Twilight Lawns profile imageAUTHOR

      Twilight Lawns 

      6 years ago from Norbury-sur-Mer, Surrey, England. U.K.

      Thank you for coming and having a read, Paraglider.

      The person in question, though maintaining that poetry is his bent, seems to have little respect for spelling and or punctuation, so I find him a rich field of inspiration.

    • Paraglider profile image

      Dave McClure 

      6 years ago from Kyle, Scotland

      This is priceless. We Scots, of course, have no difficulty making this particular distinction ;)

    • Twilight Lawns profile imageAUTHOR

      Twilight Lawns 

      7 years ago from Norbury-sur-Mer, Surrey, England. U.K.

      If only (as they say). But thanks for taking the time to look around... You know you are always welcome with comments like that. But, sensitive soul that I am, I have been known to take negative criticism without immediately resorting to the knife drawer.

    • Twilight Lawns profile imageAUTHOR

      Twilight Lawns 

      7 years ago from Norbury-sur-Mer, Surrey, England. U.K.

      I also, Chris. My tastes in writers are from both sides of the Atlantic. John Steinbeck, Frederic Prokosch, F Scott Fitzgerald, Evelyn Waugh, A.A. Milne, George Orwell, Thornton Wilder, and a few foreign chaps like Vladimir Nabokov and Andre Gide, but I don't speak foreign, so I have to read in translation (Yeah, I know, Nabakov writes in English).... I'm not very advenurous, am I? These are a few of my favourite things. Tra-la-la!

    • Christoph Reilly profile image

      Christoph Reilly 

      7 years ago from St. Louis

      Ha! Showing off? Moi, KKhalmes? I would make a joke here about a Kkhalmesthong, but that would be crass. No, no, Twilight, don't worry about Britishisms. We are mostly familiar with them, and though I cannot speak for the others, I enjoy them. And after all, there are those of us that read great writers no matter where they come from.

      In your story, I guess I projected a sympathy for the old fool.

    • Twilight Lawns profile imageAUTHOR

      Twilight Lawns 

      7 years ago from Norbury-sur-Mer, Surrey, England. U.K.

      Tell me, Candie, please. Who is the great, great, great uncle or aunt? I'm fascinated now. And why delete you?

    • Candie V profile image

      Candie V 

      7 years ago from Whereever there's wolves!! And Bikers!! Cummon Flash, We need an adventure!

      oops! Delete me!

    • Candie V profile image

      Candie V 

      7 years ago from Whereever there's wolves!! And Bikers!! Cummon Flash, We need an adventure!

      Well.. as the great/great/great niece of a writer in the era of your above named writers.. that's my story and I'm sticking to it!

    • Twilight Lawns profile imageAUTHOR

      Twilight Lawns 

      7 years ago from Norbury-sur-Mer, Surrey, England. U.K.

      Clever, Candie, very clever. But I feel you tell a little white lie. Thanks for the comment... it made me smile.

    • Candie V profile image

      Candie V 

      7 years ago from Whereever there's wolves!! And Bikers!! Cummon Flash, We need an adventure!

      I'm diphthongphobic. I confess.. Either side of the pond, matters not to me. I'm equally tongue-tied on any continent!

    • Twilight Lawns profile imageAUTHOR

      Twilight Lawns 

      7 years ago from Norbury-sur-Mer, Surrey, England. U.K.

      Hi "K". Welcome back. I'm beginning to realise that all my new chums are from the other side of the planet and are up and about when I'm on the way to bed. Thank God I don't go up too soon. Should I remember this distance across the Atlantic and be careful not to use too many colloquialisms? After all, as that great playwright, George Bernard Shaw (Irish chap, Chris) said,

      "England and America are two countries separated by a common language".

    • KKalmes profile image

      KKalmes 

      7 years ago from Chicago, Illinois

      Hello TL, again I am enticed to read and very glad for the experience...

      diphthongs, monophthongs, hiatus, phonemes... they are all the same to me... blah, blah, blah!

      Hello CR, you're just showing off your writing brainiac to the new guy... you should be making money on this stuff, check out website...

      http://wikimediafoundation.org/wiki/WMFGA001/en/US...

    • Twilight Lawns profile imageAUTHOR

      Twilight Lawns 

      7 years ago from Norbury-sur-Mer, Surrey, England. U.K.

      Hi Christoph. This guy really exists. 'Twas he who stated that the apostrophe was not necessary; or reversible. So: "Its sad that it's neck was cold so we wrapped a feather bore around it's neck to make it more better" and many other gems like this. I wouldn't mind so much, except he criticises my Asian friends because he thinks he knows the language better.

    • Twilight Lawns profile imageAUTHOR

      Twilight Lawns 

      7 years ago from Norbury-sur-Mer, Surrey, England. U.K.

      Maybe this doesn't travel too well across the Pond, Candie. But I did my best.

    • Christoph Reilly profile image

      Christoph Reilly 

      7 years ago from St. Louis

      Very clever, with an undercurrent of sadness. It's interesting to have to think in British. Our "Ah" and "are" aren't homophones--but you know this. But then, so many of us yanks, when saying "are," actually sound more like the pirate's "arrrrrrgggghhhhh." Having been trained in phonetics and "stage standard" speech, I know my diphthongs.

    • Candie V profile image

      Candie V 

      7 years ago from Whereever there's wolves!! And Bikers!! Cummon Flash, We need an adventure!

      ... Not to be confused with 'Uh' which signifies confusion or a lack of a better word in a sentence when one needs to firm up ones thoughts..

      I'm.. uh.. confused. Plus I don't rhyme. I feel bad about that. So much for teaching kids! They'll show ya up in a heart beat!

    working

    This website uses cookies

    As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, hubpages.com uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

    For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at: https://hubpages.com/privacy-policy#gdpr

    Show Details
    Necessary
    HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
    LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
    Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
    AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
    Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
    CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
    Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the googleapis.com or gstatic.com domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
    Features
    Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
    Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
    Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
    Marketing
    Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
    Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
    Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
    Statistics
    Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
    ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)