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Arkansaw Limericks No. 2

Updated on January 30, 2015
Source

If YOU think it's funny, they'll stop laughing!

Why does everybody think Arkansas is so funny? Just because a couple of clowns named Lum and Abner and a comedian named Bob Burns made fun of us as backwoods, bare-foot, coon-huntin’ hillbillys didn’t mean the label had to stick. We have webfooted Arkies, too, you know. Then President Reagan, the “Great Communicator”, communicated our insignificance and his ignorance by saying Arkansas was a state somewhere between the Texas and Oklahoma border. Nice squeeze. And Bill Clinton was famous for chasin’ something, but it wasn’t coons. Seems like we just can’t stay out of the spotlight (they're carbide, of course) Well, just you wait until Miss Hillary becomes President. She’ll show ‘em all. (Will it count that she’s not a native Arkie?)

Anyway, join me again as I laugh at, and with, my native state in my second installment of Arkansaw Limericks.

We got the last laugh, not every state has a Presidential Library!

Source

The Clinton Library has been described as everything from a Double Wide on Stilts to a Phallic Symbol pointing at the Arkansas River.

The Double Wide view

I'm too lazy to go take my own photos, so I'm using those graciously provided by somebody else.
I'm too lazy to go take my own photos, so I'm using those graciously provided by somebody else. | Source

The Clintons

I know it’s plumb sillery

The story of Bill and Hillary

From rags to riches

Fought sons o’ bitches

And they became Billary


Old Fogies who don't like the Clintons call it the "Clinton Lieberry"

Changing the subject

Cushman

T’was an old man from Cushman

Whose wife weighed a ton

She sat on his lap

he said, “Oh crap!

I think something has broken

(We pronounce it CUSH mun and BRO kun. It really does rhyme.)




Source

Newport

T'was a young man from Newport

who thought he’d take a little snort

Held up the bottle

Went full throttle

And he glugged down the whole quart





Smackover

An old man from Smackover

Had a dog named Rover

Attacked a skunk

Dang, he stunk!

So he rolled in the clover.

(Rover, not the man, or maybe it was the man rollin' to get away from the dog -- I dunno?)




Berryville

T'was an old lady from Berryville

Had pie snitched from windowsill

Caught little Joe Routh

With red on his mouth

But it was only road kill



Source

Gosnell

T’was an old man from Gosnell

Sundays he rang the church bell

Mornings he rang

Nights he sang

To keep from going to Hell




Biscoe

A young lady from Biscoe

Wore a ring on her big toe

She was very flirty

But her feet were dirty

On no dates could she go



Source

Ashdown

Once there was a clown

Who hailed from Ashdown

Was so funny

Made much money

Then he blew this town



Whitehall

A young boy named Paul

Went to school in Whitehall

Sat on his books

and got dirty looks

Because he wasn’t very tall


Publicity photo of beloved Gilda Radner as Roseanne
Publicity photo of beloved Gilda Radner as Roseanne

Texarkana

Twas a lady from Texarkana

Who loved Rosanne Rosanadana

To TV she was glued

Watched her in the nude

Except she wore a red bandana



That's all today, folks!

We just pointed our fingers at some more more places and made fun of them. I hope you enjoyed this installment of Arkansaw Limericks, a fun trip around our state. If you haven't read Arkansaw Limericks No. 1, I'd appreciate it if you'd give it a read, too. Tune in again, 'cause we'll be back with more. (Our supply is unlimited, you know.)

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    • MizBejabbers profile image
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      MizBejabbers 22 months ago

      Thank you, Demas, for your witty little ditty of a comment.

    • MizBejabbers profile image
      Author

      MizBejabbers 22 months ago

      Thank you for your nice comment, Patricia. I'm not a poet and I know it, so I console myself with limericks! Most people do favor the Clinton ones, but I'm sure the Clintons will have the last laugh.

    • Perspycacious profile image

      Demas W Jasper 22 months ago from Today's America and The World Beyond

      Fun little ditties, witties, and prettys (pretty well done, that is!)

    • pstraubie48 profile image

      Patricia Scott 22 months ago from sunny Florida

      Ok so hands down, the Clintons is my favorite!! You are so clever...it is not easy to pull off a superb limerick and you have produced them time and again...good for you

      shared

      Angels are once again on the way to you ps

    • MizBejabbers profile image
      Author

      MizBejabbers 2 years ago

      Always exploring. I'm glad your son likes Imboden. I don't think I've ever been there, but I've been to the area. I would love to see Billary in the Whitehouse again, too. Thank you for reading and commenting.

    • always exploring profile image

      Ruby Jean Fuller 2 years ago from Southern Illinois

      Heeeeeeeeeee Funny. I have a son who lives in Imboden and he loves it. My two favorite people are Bill and Hillary. It would be GREAT to see then occupy the whitehouse again. I loved this!

    • MizBejabbers profile image
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      MizBejabbers 2 years ago

      Sorry to take so long, Ziarre, but somehow HP labeled your comment as spam. Thank you for reading and check out my other one.

    • profile image

      Ziarre 2 years ago

      Tip top stffu. I'll expect more now.

    • MizBejabbers profile image
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      MizBejabbers 2 years ago

      I loved her, too, Sandra. Thanks for your comment.

    • Sandra Eastman profile image

      Sandra Joy Eastman 2 years ago from Robbinsdale MN

      Loved this hub with Gilda. I adorned her. RIP sweet funny lady

    • MizBejabbers profile image
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      MizBejabbers 2 years ago

      Bobbi, I meant "humorous". I think I made a typo and my spell-checker automatically changed it to the wrong word. Sorry.

    • MizBejabbers profile image
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      MizBejabbers 2 years ago

      John, nice to hear from you. I kind of favor those two myself. Thank you for the comment and the vote.

    • MizBejabbers profile image
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      MizBejabbers 2 years ago

      Hi, Bobbi, well, when I was a child in school, they used to tell us that Arkansas was the only state in the union that could be entirely self-contained if the USA chose to build a fence around it. Maybe you might need a passport to visit us. LOL Anyway, those days are over, so maybe not. Thanks for reading and you numerous comment.

    • Jodah profile image

      John Hansen 2 years ago from Queensland Australia

      Funny stuff MizBejabbers. I particularly liked Gosnell and Berryville. Voted up.

    • PurvisBobbi44 profile image

      PurvisBobbi44 2 years ago from Florida

      Hi MizBejabbers,

      A funny hub and I am still smiling. Your state is one I have not visited, but I will remember it because of Bill Clinton and now you.

      I am going to find #1 to read. Do I need a passport to visit your state? Some states in the South should require one. Not N. and S. Carolina because my great-great grandmother came from S. Carolina and my great-great grandfather from North Carolina.

      Have a great weekend.

      Bobbi Pirvis

    • MizBejabbers profile image
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      MizBejabbers 2 years ago

      Audrey, coffee through the nose. That's so funny. I haven't done that in a long time. I'm glad I could give you that kind of laugh. Thanks for giving me a laugh today.

    • MizBejabbers profile image
      Author

      MizBejabbers 2 years ago

      Paula, I missed yours, too. I must be sleeping on the job. Thank you for the nice comment. I plan to write one more and then maybe retire from the Arkansaw ones. I don't want people to get tired of them, but there is so much here to poke fun at. I apologize for being so tardy with my reply.

    • MizBejabbers profile image
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      MizBejabbers 2 years ago

      Linda, how on earth did I miss your comment! I checked on this just a few days ago, or at least I thought I did, and didn't see it. So sorry! It is so good to hear from you. Love you, girlfriend. Thanks for reading and commenting. We have to poke fun at ourselves sometimes.

    • AudreyHowitt profile image

      Audrey Howitt 2 years ago from California

      I laughed so hard the coffee came through my nose which is more info that you need I suppose!!

    • fpherj48 profile image

      Paula 2 years ago from Beautiful Upstate New York

      MizB....This is great! Totally hilarious. I simply love it.....Now I must find No. one!.....I'm still laughing. Thank you so much for sharing this with us. LOL..."the Clinton Lieberry" LOL....What a HOOT!.....Up+++

    • lrc7815 profile image

      Linda Crist 2 years ago from Central Virginia

      Miz B, how on earth did I miss your lmericks. You're a limerick wizard. I must admit, the Bill and Hiliary one is my favorite. Voted this one up, awesome, and funny and am sharing it too. Now, I'm off to read the first one. Some things in Arkansas are funny!

    • MizBejabbers profile image
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      MizBejabbers 2 years ago

      Wow, thanks, glad to hear that. I wasn't sure about Paul.

    • midget38 profile image

      Michelle Liew 2 years ago from Singapore

      Loved all these, especially Paul from Whitehall!

    • MizBejabbers profile image
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      MizBejabbers 2 years ago

      Ann, it's pretty much a North/South divide here, too. Everybody in the South eventually gets made fun of, but we laugh at damnyankees, too. (That's anybody north of the Mason Dixon line)

    • annart profile image

      Ann Carr 2 years ago from SW England

      This is great fun! I know nothing about Arkansas but there's always somewhere the rest of a country make fun of - in Britain it's a border thing or a north/south divide! Thanks for the laugh on a Friday afternoon.

    • MizBejabbers profile image
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      MizBejabbers 2 years ago

      Pers, that's a great idea. I've enjoyed some other limerick hubs that deserve preservation.

    • Perspycacious profile image

      Demas W Jasper 2 years ago from Today's America and The World Beyond

      I think a Limerick Library is needed in which we might collect the HubPages Limericks. These are good and deserving of more lending.

    • MizBejabbers profile image
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      MizBejabbers 2 years ago

      You're funny!

    • tirelesstraveler profile image

      Judy Specht 2 years ago from California

      All I can do is snicker and return it unopened. You will do a lovely limerick with rumored humor.

    • MizBejabbers profile image
      Author

      MizBejabbers 2 years ago

      My "rumored humor" -- is that a subject for another limerick? Thanks, Tirelesstraveler, for the read and comment.

    • tirelesstraveler profile image

      Judy Specht 2 years ago from California

      Nicely done. Great picture of the Clinton library.

      Thanks for the joy this hub employed, thoroughly enjoyed your rumored humor.

    • MizBejabbers profile image
      Author

      MizBejabbers 2 years ago

      You are welcome. Arkansas has this thing about trailers. You may not know this, but when Mike Huckabee was governor, they set up a triple-wide on the mansion grounds to live in while the mansion was being remodeled. First Lady Janet Huckabee became known as "the Queen of the Triple Wide."

    • bravewarrior profile image

      Shauna L Bowling 3 years ago from Central Florida

      These are hilarious! You're right, the Presidential Library does look like a double wide. Thanx for the laugh - I needed it!

    • MizBejabbers profile image
      Author

      MizBejabbers 3 years ago

      Friend Bill, well, I've been to your state and I think it is just beautiful. I also have cousins in the Wenatchee area, so they love it too. Thanks for your kind comment.

      Travmaj, thanks for the read and comment. I love my Australian friends and it is fun to read their comments.

      John, sometimes we have to laugh at ourselves to keep from crying, but we really are a beautiful state with good people. I appreciate you, too.

    • Jodah profile image

      John Hansen 3 years ago from Queensland Australia

      Very funny MizBejabbers. You know I love limericks, and now I love Arkansas too...haha. Thanks for ending my day with a smile.

    • travmaj profile image

      travmaj 3 years ago from australia

      Hi - well I don't know Arkansaw but I enjoyed reading these - got a kick out of them and the humour - nicely done.

    • billybuc profile image

      Bill Holland 3 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Howling! How can there not be more comments here? This is the funniest thing I've read on HP in years. I've never been there, so I'll refrain from making comments about your state, but your jokes are hilarious.

      The day is officially over. Thank you Miz B