Attention All Skinny Girls - This One's For You!
For all those who are thin, slim and proud!
If you are easily offended, I don’t suggest you read this. This won’t be pretty for some of you and it may hurt a little. I will not hold back on this one and am not here to tip-toe around feelings. Be advised, I warned you!
Skinny Girls Fight Back!
Okay skinny girls; this one’s for you. Are you sick of the diatribe of attacks on us? I am. I have had it up to my scrawny little neck in fact. If one more media outlet attacks another model, celebrity or fashion designer for being thin, I might just crack. Okay, let’s face it, I am cracking! When I flip on the tube and a bunch of robust, cackling females sit around (because that’s what they are good at) in a circle and point fingers at us skinnies, I am outraged. First our nation begins with “no child left behind” and now it’s “no fatties left behind”. Disgusting
Who am I? I am just an average female who just so happens to be of slender, athletic build. If you are of average height and proportionally healthy weight wise, then perhaps you feel my angst. Aren’t you sick of the utter nerve of fat women who would rather perpetuate and celebrate obesity (they call it curves) rather than address the epidemic that is rabid in our country? Once again, I am.
Is Obesity the new "Sexy"?
Here are some facts. According to the CDC, between 2008-2009, 33.9% of adults over 20 yrs. Of age are obese. 34.4% of adults in the same age category are overweight, while 19.6% of children age 6-11 yrs. Are also obese! Obese, people! Do you understand what that means? It means that 68.3% of our adult population are overweight. And this is the new cool? The sad news is, not only are adults growing in size but these plump folks are all producing offspring and then stuffing their faces with the same packaged preservatives and deep fried nutrition which has escalated this problem.
According to Business Insider, obesity is the plague of the 21st century. Yet we have become so politically correct we are unable to bring it up lest we hurt someone’s feelings. When was anorexia ever talked about in sensitive hushed tones anyway? Not that I condone anorexic disorders. This is not about them. This is about those of us who are a normal average size. I am just personally tired of placating the massive masses. Next time you want to assume some small girl is “too” skinny, I hope you think about the fact that you most likely have high cholestoral, diabetes, respiratory issues, can’t run, organs failing and are on your way to a heart attack. How’s that for sickness? And the sad thing is your coffin will cost your family WAY more than mine!
How About a Thinning Out...
The irony is we think we need population control? In essence, if these giants would consume less, they would produce far less waste and therefore unclog the toilets of our nation, so to speak. Downsizing….that’s really what we need. Limit the amount of mass one person is allowed to have in order for less space to be occupied. But no, instead, restaurants are regulated and required to have “extra large seats” and everything is now being “super-sized”. Pathetic. At least those of us who are skinny would unselfishly waste away rather than allow our BMI to dinosaur across this planet, stomping on the little guy.
About Fashion and Models
Okay, let’s address the models and the fashion industry, which so often come under attack. First of all, have you ever seen a rolly polly model walk down a runway? Not attractive. Why would any fashion designer wish to shove a ton of meaty flesh into their perfectly tailored, delicate clothing? They don’t. The skinny haters will try but the fact of the matter is that clothing simply LOOKS better on women with slender figures. Why? Well, perhaps because nothing is stuffed or hanging out. There are no uneven bulges or dimples being exposed. Perhaps it is because most of us prefer NOT to watch a rhinoceros plow down the runway. I mean, if you want to get realistic about it, it simply isn’t economical for new fashion designers to purchase entire crops of cotton just to clothe one model’s rotund figure!
And on that note, what is the deal with clothing sizes getting smaller. I mean come on, size 3 is REALLY a size 6 but all you marshmallows want to pretend you are a real size 3. It’s outrageous. I can’t even find my clothing size anymore unless I visit the youth section (which is also increasing in size). It’s beginning to be a serious nuisance that our stores are being taken over by massive plus size sections and we little ones are stuck with a few puny articles to choose from. That’s all thanks to you and your whining.
Leave Us Skinny Girls Alone!
Do I sound angry? I am. Because if one more whale looks down on me and shakes her head with that look which assumes I have an eating disorder and then struts (full hips swaying) around expressing her acceptance of fatness, I might scream. This façade that fat is the new sexy, is a myth. It is a complete lie created by fat women who are completely dissatisfied with the rolls but rather than face THEIR eating disorder they attack us skinnies!
Yes, I realize some of you may be reading this and scoffing at my outspoken frankness but it is about time someone stuck up for the skinny girl. After all, it’s not like we have all gathered together and decided to become breathatarians. Many of us are completely normal, healthy adults. We eat what our body needs. We get off the couch once in a while. We prefer to be able to move around without sounding like we are snorkeling up the hill. There is nothing wrong with us! I’m sorry if your metabolism is a bit backlogged by cheetos, ding-dongs and soda. Not my fault.
Take a look at Europeans. They don’t have an obesity problem. Why? Because there isn’t a MCDONALDS at every street corner! They aren’t pumping their kids full of unnecessary calories, sugars and preservatives. They eat well balanced meals which consist of fresh produce…yes PRODUCE, that means veggies (no, French fries do not count). You want to know what it takes to be skinny, not much. Eat less. Exercise more. In fact, if you spent more time getting in shape, you would have less time to sit and project hatred toward our lovely figures.
Guys are off the Hook
Are you wondering why I’m not attacking the overweight men here? Well, it’s simple. You don’t see THEM on talk shows complaining about the latest actress starving herself. They also aren't cramming their over large back side into a pair of skinny jeans (and they are called that for a reason) and asking us if they are too fat! The guys have a bit more common sense than some of you gals. At least they are realistic about being overweight. They may not like it and they may not do anything about it either but they aren’t fabricating an existence where their beer gut is hot and kankles are appealing now are they? In fact, most guys know they need to diet and exercise. They also know that when you ask them if you are fat (and you are) they are programmed to say no, when in essence they would prefer to tell you your flab’s of fleshiness are becoming a hindrance. They don’t want to hurt your feelings but YES, you are fat and they don’t really like it. Luckily for you they love and accept you. Just do them a favor, clean out the fuzz balls and cookie crumbs once in awhile.
THIS IS WHAT I AM TALKING ABOUT!
Keep it Covered!
Furthermore, when it comes to apparel, if it isn’t too much to ask, would you mind please PUTTING SOME CLOTHES ON! You don’t look good in spandex when it looks like it was poured around you. You also shouldn’t wear short shorts or skirts when your thigh dimples are crevices bigger than my eye sockets. And while you may enjoy showing off what you call voluptuous breasts please note that is not cleavage....that is the Grand Canyon and it is NOT a natural wonder so keep it covered. Cellulite is about as attractive as leprosy. Yes, we all get it, even us skinny girls. The difference is we don’t embrace it, flaunt it and pretend our men love it. So, although it may take a herd of sheep to create your attire, it is well worth the investment in my opinion.
Obesity in America
If you can't see it, it's probably not clean!
Let's discuss hygiene now for a moment shall we? Basically, it all boils down to this...if you can't see it, reach it or touch it, it's most likely not too clean. I mean seriously, I know if you can't touch those toes, you most likely haven't cleaned between them in awhile. I certainly know you aren't able to balance yourself on one leg in order to shave your legs so I have to bring it up. Being obese is not only affecting you but those who are around you. If you haven't seen below the gut in awhile, it's time to make a change...don't you think?
Need Help Losing Weight?
Skinny and Proud!
Look, I'm not here to offend women (after all I am one of you). Nor am I lacking in compassion. I understand many of you are out there taking one step forward and two steps back, struggling to overcome weight issues and maintain optimal health. This is not meant to discount your efforts. Rather,I am simply addressing the current societal trends which are becoming inherent in our media to promote and advocate for obesity rather than disintegrate it. This idea that it is okay to be obese is bogus. It is not sexy, not healthy and not setting an example for our children. It will never be okay in my book to see people eat themselves to death or be hoisted out of bed or shut in because they are too large to experience life. It's simply NOT an okay and "cool" thing and while curves can be sexy, fat is not. It kills and it shouldn't be glamorized any more than anorexia.
Just think if you were skinny, you could save money, breathe better and wouldn’t harass the person next to you on the airplane just by sitting down. If you really want to talk about the girl who’s looking a little ribby, I suggest you look in the mirror at the potbelly ready for roasting and save your judgments for someone who’s fatter. I personally have had it with your insulting lack of self control. Stop perpetuating this epidemic in our media and among our children. Fat is not okay, obese is worse. If this categorizes you, do something about it or keep your scoffs to yourself. I refuse to allow another double stuff to cause me to recalculate my metabolic intake. I am skinny and I am proud!
Read More Unabashed Humor By Dagny Roth
- Men and Sex. Where Did you Learn That?
Ways to improve sex and tips on what not to do.
- How To Be Rid Of The Clutter!
know a dust collectoraholic? Send them this fun article on how to be rid of clutter.
- The Fashion Craze of the Croc Franchise
A Humorous overview on the fashion trend of Crocs.
- Satire Armageddon
A satire of Religious Dogma and the error Narrow Mindedness.