There are ideas and visions that seep unnoticed into our souls.
They’re like grains of sand.
Silently they break down our defenses and find the cracks.
We know in our hearts and minds that they are wrong and we resist.
Slowly though our hearts and mind change and the real battle begins.
It’s the battle between what we know to be true
And what we have let in.
Things that used to bother us bother us no more.
Things we used to be passionate about bring no rise in the temperature.
People we used to delight in bring no joy anymore.
The faith we used to feel is a campfire snuffed out.
The judgment we feel for ourselves is most severe.
For we are our own biggest critic.
To know what is right and true and to choose what’s wrong.
What is wrong with us?
Where did we stray?
On the outside life continues its’ sure turn
But on the inside we know the truth.
There is always that piece of ourselves that we hold back.
Life experience and fear cause this.
But what does God’s word say to our wounded soul.
It says Come if you’re weary and I will give you rest.
It says that no matter what we are forgiven.
It says that no matter what we are loved.
It says no matter what we are looked after.
It says no matter what there is a better hope and better future.
He has a plan.
It says that our spirit and flesh are always at war.
It says that we should not fear what man can do to us.
It says this life won’t be forever.
It says that there is always hope.
It says to choose joy in fact it demands it.
It says He will give us strength when ours is not enough.
And I find that in the battle with my own self
That I am grateful.
I find that the Spirit brings these things to mind unwittingly.
I am so tired sometimes and yet there is still fight inside.
And I know that it doesn’t come from me it comes from Him.
I don’t have to try to be perfect for that is my biggest battle.
I just have to be who He has called me to be and that is enough.